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We Must Look Within When Treated Unfairly By a practitioner in China
(Clearwisdom.net) For a month I had been so disturbed by something that
my temper often flared up. I knew that my state was not right and that it was
caused by an attachment, but I didn't know how to remove the attachment. Only
after I truly understood Teacher's new article did I begin to enlighten. Some time ago, after I clarified the truth to a person with a
predestined relationship with me, she was very receptive to the truth. She then
also helped other people to learn the truth. Her daughter had been taking after-school lessons from me for several months.
When I began tutoring her, her parents paid me some compensation, but recently
the daughter told me that her family was experiencing financial difficulties.
Later, they completely stopped paying me. I didn't say anything at that time, however I always felt a little uneasy in
my heart. Over time, the way I treated her daughter changed for the worse. I
became impatient with her. At the beginning, the daughter told her mom about my
changed attitude towards her. Her mother asked a member of my family to tell me
to take her daughter seriously. When I heard that, I became very upset and I
complained a lot. My family members said that I wasn't behaving like a
practitioner, and I argued with them, disagreeing with the mother's complaint. One time I went to the home to tutor her daughter. Her daughter started
crying and misbehaving. She said, "I don't want to go to school any more. I
don't know anything, and nobody teaches me anything." At that time, I
wondered whether I was behaving as a practitioner should. While talking to her
patiently, I was thinking, "If you don't pay me, how can you expect me to
teach you anything?" Later her mother asked me how deal with her daughter's situation. Again, I
came up with an analysis that seemed very convincing. I said that her daughter's
study methods were not right and that her attitude was not right. She didn't
listen to me, nor did she respect me. However, how could I possibly fool myself,
or Teacher? I was still thinking about money. I talked for over an hour, and her
mother didn't say a word. In the end she said, "I will find another
after-school teacher for my daughter. We can't afford you." After I heard
her comments, I shrugged them off and said, "It's up to you." I was blaming the mother for being selfish. I was also afraid to refuse her
right in her face, which would undermine her impression of Dafa practitioners. I
couldn't let go of it either. I became impatient and lost my temper easily. Upon seeing me not enlightening, Teacher used a very smart way to help me.
One afternoon, a girl sitting by my building was shouting someone's name. She
sounded like one of my former co-workers, so I opened the window and took a
look, planning to tell her to come up to my place so I could clarify the truth
to her. But I saw two girls I didn't know. After a while, I heard swearing and beating coming from downstairs. Actually,
the two girls had come to the apartment building to get their money back from
someone. One of them was shouting the name of the person who owed them the
money. As soon as that person came out, he slapped one girl, and claimed that he
didn't want to pay them back, but wanted to kill them instead. Seeing this, I
thought that people nowadays have no morals. Later that evening, I left the building to run an errand, and surprisingly
enough, I saw the two girls sitting by a stone bench on the roadside. Their
heads were lowered. They were waiting to get their money back. Suddenly, I
enlightened that I almost made a serious mistake in my own dealings. I probably
owed the mother and daughter from my previous life, and I was to pay them back
in this life. But because of my selfishness, I didn't want to pay them back.
Moreover, I may have caused them to view Dafa practitioners as selfish. Wasn't
it very dangerous for them to have a negative impression of Dafa? They had insisted on having me tutor the daughter after school. Wasn't it
just like the two girls chasing their debtor? Teacher, I was wrong, I was indeed
wrong. My enlightenment quality was not good on this issue. Without Teacher's
compassionate enlightening, I would have made more serious mistakes. I want to share my experience so that when other practitioners run into
tribulations, they will first look within. Nothing we experience during our
cultivation is accidental. Posting date: 12/10/2007 |