(Clearwisdom.net) Recently practitioner Ms. Jia stopped having sexual relations with her husband (non-practitioner) and as a result, they almost divorced.

My husband (practitioner) and I went to find Ms. Jia and asked her why she did this. She said, "Because I didn't study the Fa deep enough, I didn't enlighten to the Fa clearly enough. I have not passed the first test up to now and have not let go the attachment of lust. However, I wanted to let go of this attachment and my husband didn't agree, so there was much conflict. Whenever I went to bed, I felt nervous. His lust increased proportionally to my nervousness. In the end, my husband went to talk to my parents and my parents said I was wrong. They also said that if I get divorced because of it, they would not allow me to go to their home any more."

I said, "Tell me, what does Master tell us that we have come here for?" She said, "We have come here to save people."

I said, "That is right. Then by doing this, didn't you push him away? You should have saved him, but by doing this, you not only pushed him to the opposite side, he told other people about it as well. Other people heard about it, and they also developed a negative impression of Dafa. Doesn't this damage Dafa? How can you save people?

Master said,

'Any work in Dafa is intended for people to obtain the Fa and for disciples to improve themselves. Anything other than these two points is meaningless.' ("Clearheadedness", Essentials for Further Advancement)

If you behave this way, can you help people obtain Dafa?"

She said, "How can we remove the attachment of lust? Master said, '...when you reach a certain level, there will be another situation at that level.' (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Six). Doesn't 'that level' which Master refers to mean that we should end such attachment to lust?"

I said, "It is not wrong to let go of the attachment of lust. Cultivators have to discard such attachments, but the key is to let go the attachment in our minds.

Master said,

'For those practitioners who practice cultivation among everyday people, our school of practice does not ask you to become a monk or nun. Young practitioners should still have families. So how should this issue be treated? I have said that our school of practice directly targets one's mind. It does not make you actually lose anything in terms of material benefits. Instead, you are to temper your xinxing amidst the material benefits of everyday people. What is truly upgraded is your xinxing. If you can give up the attachment, you are able to abandon everything; when you are asked to give up material benefits, you will certainly be able to do it. If you cannot let the attachment go, you will not be able to discard anything. Therefore, the real purpose of cultivation is to cultivate your heart. The cultivation practices in temples force you to lose these things so as to get rid of this attachment of yours. By not letting you think about it, they force you to completely reject them; and they have adopted such a method. But we do not require you to do so. We ask you to care less about the material interests that lie right before you. Thus, those who go through their cultivation in our school of practice are most solid. We do not ask you to become monks and nuns. As our practice is spread more widely in the future, those practitioners of ours who practice cultivation among everyday people should not all be turned into quasi-monks. It is not allowed for every Falun Dafa practitioner to become this way. In the course of practice, we require the following of everyone: Even though you practice and your spouse might not, it is not permitted for you to get a divorce because of the practice. In other words, we should take this matter lightly, and you should not attach as much importance to it as do everyday people.' (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Six)

Master also said,

'We have said that you should not cause disharmony in your family because of this issue. Therefore, at the present stage, you should care less about it. It is good to keep a normal and harmonious marriage life. In the future, when you reach a certain level, there will be another situation at that level. At present, it should be this way, and it will be fine if you meet this requirement.' (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Six)

I then told her, "In my understanding we not only need to cultivate our minds and remove our attachments, but also assist Master in Fa-rectification and save sentient beings. Then, how can we balance this relationship? The key is to cultivate yourself well, not to change your husband.

Master said,

'The other day I said that the Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and rectifies all abnormalities. In other words, the energy scattered from our bodies can rectify all abnormal conditions. Therefore, under the effects of this field, if you do not think about these things, you will unintentionally restrain your spouse as well. If you do not and will not think of them, your spouse will not think of them, either.' (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Six)

"If both husband and wife are cultivators, then that is the best. If only one cultivates and the other party does not cultivate, then it is not such a simple issue. Your husband is not a practitioner and his desire is not removed yet and you cannot completely restrict him, especially since:

'...for in the present environment there are all kinds of things on television that, if it is turned on, can easily stimulate one's desires.' (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Six).

"At this time, you should fulfill your responsibility as a wife and your responsibility as a husband. That means that you cannot destroy your family because of this issue.

'It is not permitted for you to get a divorce because of the practice.' (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Six)

"If you push him to the opposite side, how can you save people? Of course, you cannot use this as an excuse to indulge your own desire, and you have to restrain it to the greatest extent from your heart and exclude it from your thoughts. You should eliminate your own desire until you can constrain your spouse with strong righteous thoughts, not force your spouse to do something as an ordinary human would do. Otherwise, if you indulge your own desire due to this, then you are going to the other extreme and that is not cultivation either."

In this way, Master's Dafa cleared up the questions in her mind. When she went back, she dealt with this issue properly and consequently her husband asked to study the Fa together with her. She asked, "Why do you want to study now?" He said, "Your past behavior gave me a negative impression of Dafa, but now I know that your extreme actions were the problem, not Dafa. My mind has not reached such a lustful level, but since you tried to force me to give it up, the results were the opposite. At present, I also feel it (lust) is not a good thing and I also want to remove it and cultivate together with you."

When Ms. Jia talked to me about this incident she said that this incident made her see her own selfish heart. She realized that she was focusing her own consummation instead of considering others and that she was forgetting the important responsibility that Master gives to us to save people.

Through this incident, I also had a deeper understanding of Master's words,

"Your path is, and I think you've all seen this now, actually very narrow. If you deviate just a little bit you won't measure up to the standard of a Dafa disciple." ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")

I think that as long as we do things on the basis of Dafa, let go of selfishness, try to be responsible to Dafa at all times and under any circumstance, properly deal with the relationship between our families and society and righteously take the cultivation path in Fa-rectification, then we will not let down the historical mission that Master has given us.

The above is what I have enlightened to at my current level. If there is anything inappropriate, please kindly point it out.