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A Young Practitioner's Cultivation Experiences with a Home Truth Clarification Materials Site
By a young practitioner from China
(Clearwisdom.net) I am a young Falun Gong practitioner who has recently
started to make Dafa truth clarification materials. While setting up
the material production site, I experienced many tribulations. After reading many practitioners' articles about how to overcome the
difficulties for setting up home truth clarification materials sites, I wished
that I could make some truth clarification materials at home. I know how to use
my computer to break the Internet blockade, but I didn't have either a printer
or a CD burner. My computer skills were not good enough and both my parents were
not practitioners. In the beginning, my wish seemed impossible to accomplish.
However, Master is merciful. He saw that I had this wish. For a special
occasion, my parents bought me a CD burner, and I started to build up a home
materials center. After I got the CD burner, I discovered that it was out of order. No matter
what I did, it would not function properly. I recognized that this was
interference caused by the evil to test my steadfastness to Dafa. I returned it
and obtained a new one. I started to learn computer skills for downloading files
and cryptographic hash functions like md5. In the beginning, I really did not
have an idea about what they were. However, under Master's step-by-step
guidance, I gradually understood all the details. Once, I had to spend a lot of time burning many CDs at home. My attachment to
fear surfaced. I was wondering what would happen if my parents came home and
discovered what I was doing, and I worried about it. The condition of my
computer reflected my condition. When my attachment to fear surfaced, the
machine did not work smoothly any more. It seemed that the computer and the CD
burner were both stuck. The more nervous I was and the faster I wanted to finish
the work, the less the machine would produce. At last, the machine completely
froze. I could only shut it down. When I restarted the computer on the second
day, I found the CD burner was out of order. I could not burn CDs anymore. I
became even more worried about the situation. At the same time, my computer became infected with many viruses. As a result,
it could not be correctly turned on any more. I felt that this was not right and
started to look inward to find the reason. My attachment to fear had caused
everything. Wasn't my purpose to make truth clarification materials to save
sentient beings? Why should I feel scared? It was my incorrect mindset that made
the computer malfunction. The old forces used all their efforts to try to
destroy all my work. When I enlightened to this point, I decided to let go of my
attachment and rejected the arrangements of the old forces. I must do Dafa's
work in a dignified and upright manner. After I let go of the attachment to
fear, I asked someone to fix my computer, and my CD burner also began to
function correctly. I understood that it was because I had assimilated to the Fa
and decided to get rid of the attachment that my computer started to work again. After the CD burner incident, my computer sometimes still had some problems.
I followed the suggestion of a practitioner to install specific anti-virus and
privacy software. I thought that my computer was safe, and I was sure that it
would not be infected with viruses any more. My zealotry surfaced. I scanned my
computer with the anti-virus software frequently. I felt happy about viruses
being eliminated. As a result, troubles returned. The more I scanned my
computer, the more seriously the computer was infected by viruses. I could not
even open the files containing Dafa's material or browse the Minghui website
(Chinese version of Clearwisdom). The more troubles I had, the more that I depended on techniques instead of
searching inward. As a result, my computer needed to be re-built, and my parents
blamed me. When they found any of my mistakes, they blamed Dafa. I felt very bad
and knew that I was taken advantage of by the evil. Therefore, I started to
study the Fa. Master told me how to get rid of the zealotry and the
attachment to depending on others, and that I should not pay attention to false
impressions. When I really followed Master's requests, I discovered that my
computer was up and running again. I did not have to use any complicated
anti-virus software or other techniques; everything was just back to normal
again. Another issue that needs our attention is that our truth clarification
materials are most effective only when our minds are clean and clear. The money
I used for purchasing CDs was all from gifts I'd received in the traditional red
envelopes ("good fortune money") from relatives during Chinese New
Year. Once I wanted more money from my parents, so I lied to them, saying that I
had to purchase some books and needed more food for lunch at school. But the
actual reason was that I did not want to spend so much of my own money to make
truth clarification materials. What a bad mental outlook! As a result, my
parents not only refused my request but also called me a miser. At the same
time, they tightly controlled how I used my money. Even if I really needed some
money, they wouldn't give it to me easily. I felt very bad. After looking
inward, I found the bad attachment quickly. I swore that I did not want it
anymore. When I look back, actually they always give me enough money for lunch.
What I spent for CDs was my savings from Chinese New Year. That test was crucial for me. Actually, it was exactly targeting my
attachment to profit. Before I could totally let go of the attachment, one more
thing happened. My grandmother is also a practitioner. Once when I had to
purchase some blank CDs, I asked her to go with me with the intention of letting
her pay for them for me. I thought, "The CDs are for clarifying the truth.
If she supports me and purchases the CDs, she can establish her mighty
virtue." This was a bad attachment, an attachment to protecting my profit.
When we went to the store, we could not find the correct type of CD. I started
to realize that I was trying to do something wrong. However, I did not want to
waste a trip to the store and picked up a different kind of CDs. After I got
home, I found that they did not have sufficient storage to do what I needed. I
looked inward and found that my mental capacity was not enough, and I was still
attached to profit. After this test, I realized how strict the requirements are for Dafa
practitioners and how important it is to have a clean heart. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate. February 3, 2007 |