A Review of Nine Years of Cultivation

(Clearwisdom.net)

Respected Master, Respected Practitioners,

Welcome to Poland! I am deeply honored to have the opportunity to share my experiences with you.

I first encountered Falun Dafa in the USA back in 1997. Honestly speaking, I didn't know where to start. When I started practicing cultivation, the person assisting with the practice site and Fa study group had already been cultivating for two years. In my eyes, that was a very long time. She seemed very experienced, especially since she was Chinese. It was a huge benefit for me to cultivate alongside Chinese practitioners for whom there didn't exist many questions or issues. Master says to study Fa when you get home, so they studied.

Every question I had they responded to in the same way, which was that someone would open Zhuan Falun to a certain page and read -- for them it was evident that everything in our cultivation is simply a reflection, a manifestation of cultivation, which Teacher meticulously describes in Zhuan Falun. Since the beginning of my practice I had been able to reject any and all handsome fellows that approached me while I was dreaming. When I felt smug and pleased with myself, I was told that it was thanks to my inborn quality and that little bit of De that I had brought here with me. When after a certain period of cultivation, monsters came to bother me in my dreams, practitioners would smile and say that it was merely a manifestation of the level I was at and that I needed to quickly raise my xinxing.

In 1998, when Master said to practice together in the morning outdoors, we assembled without hesitation at 5:15 in the morning, regardless of the weather, so that we could get in 2 hours of practice before work. When I did push-ups in order to strengthen my arms to be able to perform the second exercise for half an hour, the Chinese practitioners patiently explained to me, as if to a child, that this was a reflection of whether one could make breakthroughs in levels, and when I seriously approached the matter of xinxing, the problem of holding the wheel in the second exercise would disappear.

When I shared my deepest moral dilemmas, I was told with a smile: "Yes, I also went through that, and after a certain period of time you'll see that new practitioners will come to you with problems that you've already gone through -- all of these are just manifestations of practice." At that time it was difficult for me to even imagine that that could be the case. After all, these were my tribulations, problems and life events -- how could it be that others experienced the same things, or that I would ever be worthy enough to serve others with my understanding or experience?

Nine years of cultivation have gone by in a flash, although there have been situations in which single moments felt like an eternity. Especially the first several years of daily hourly meditation. For a long time I sat in meditation in full lotus for only half an hour, because that's how long the music for non-Chinese beginners was played. One day I practiced with a group of veteran practitioners. When I was sitting in the full-lotus position it was hard to meditate due to the pain. The pain got stronger and stronger, and my thumbs almost drew blood from being pressed up against one another so strongly, but I didn't give up, because, after all, I had only been sitting there for what I thought was half an hour. It was only after the music ended that I, a non-Chinese, was told that I had lasted for a full hour. It was then that I realized that whether or not I manage to sit until the end or not, how much time has gone by, and so on, depends only on the concept I have in my mind.

The first two years of cultivation, it seemed like tests took place around the clock. During the day and during the night also. I had to give up all of my addictions, habits and learned behaviors quickly because they came at me like waves. Before one subsided, another would rise. My husband, who is American, was like a road sign for me, pointing the way to my attachments. This was probably because he grew up without the same traditions as I did, and besides that he was by nature a kind-hearted and happy person. Perhaps what I thought were traditions were actually attachments, which I didn't want to give up under the guise of being a tradition.

In 1999, when the campaign of provocation and persecution against Falun Dafa started, I recall listening incredulously as the American media reiterated the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP's) propaganda word for word. For me it was clear that I was myself living proof that the lies and propaganda were false. How could anyone forbid people to cultivate Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance? Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is something so natural that parents teach it to their children. Everyone wants to be told the truth, though not every one of us manages to always tell the truth. Everyone wants to be treated with kindness and understanding, though every one of us finds it difficult to behave that way ourselves. Moreover, how can it be permitted and allowed to persecute people who want to be truthful, benevolent and forbearing?!

Since 20 July 1999, I have knocked on every door among those who I knew. It turned out that different regions and different practitioners had different understandings. What will happen to people who assent to such cruelty? What will happen to people who agree to the CCP's prohibition of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance? Do they truly comprehend the consequences -- do they know what they are consenting to? How can other practitioners look on and do nothing? What can I do that others cannot? How should Poles learn about the crimes being committed and about what Falun Gong is?

I recall the first time I had the thought to come to Poland to do something -- but what? Practitioners in my region said: "Organize a press conference and contact members of government!" I almost fainted at the very thought. "Who? Me? I'm supposed to organize this?" After digesting this, I realized that I might be the only person from whom they can learn about the facts. And how can the government decide the fate of an entire nation-- after all, people don't have time to examine everything that's taken up in the media, and what will happen if they believe the anti-Falun Gong propaganda? Without the facts, how can they make their own choice? How can it all be organized, especially from the United States? So I started to search the Internet and "how uncanny", I immediately found the web page of a press agency, which also dealt with organizing press conferences. I only had to be there, the rest was arranged by them, including inviting all media.

At the last moment, allegedly in my own best interest, they suggested that I back out of doing the press conference. "Who will be interested?", they implied, better not waste your money. Practitioners from Germany, however, who came to help out, supported me by their understanding of the Fa. Representatives of 25 different media groups were present at the conference, this at a time when in the US , press conferences were attracting practically no attention. I understood then, that Master arranges everything, and I'm simply supposed to be in the Fa. I understood, or rather experienced, that I was a particle of the Fa and that everything will work out if it's done without attachments and habits. Since that time, many people who attended the conference learned the exercises of Falun Dafa, and as I learned later, were practicing almost every day.

Despite such a success, the persecution of Falun Dafa did not abate. More and more practitioners in China were losing their lives because they chose to forsake Dafa. There were still many people from governments and countries who had not called for an end to the persecution. What to do?

Among practitioners in my region there arose the following understanding: as cultivators, we possess a field of Dafa. Our field can influence not only ordinary people, but can also help other practitioners, so let's change the field one step at a time and show ordinary people our heart by organizing and taking part in SOS marches.

I just "happened to be" at a meeting at which practitioners were discussing the routes the march was to take, and we were looking at a map of Europe. Some practitioners chose a route traversing Western Europe, some Northern Europe, whereas the only logical route for me was through countries of the former Warsaw Pact. But when it came to this route, besides me there wasn't anyone else who could go for 6 weeks. After returning home I had a dream in Russian. I thought and spoke Russian (a language widely spoken in those countries) despite the fact that I didn't speak Russian on a daily basis. I felt that this was a sign of encouragement from Master. I started my preparations with a handful of practitioners.

I was supposed to leave on September 16, 2001, and in my preparations for this journey I was able to find all the relevant information to enable me to contact members of government in those countries, and I had no problem reading the information regardless of what language it was in. I experienced the power of Fa on a daily basis. Upon my arrival in Europe a practitioner from Latvia met me at the airport. I showed up looking like an experienced trekker, with fantastic equipment, boots, backpack, waterproof clothes, sleeping bag etc. She, on the other hand, wore her son's running shoes, his school backpack and a women's handbag falling apart at the seams for the entire six weeks! This was quite a shock for me. Master helped me to rid myself of all my mindsets. Not to mention even that she only spoke Russian. It was only once we got rid of all mindsets that we could communicate, and only thanks to the Fa was I able to share and explain my understanding of the SOS march. Practitioners in those countries were, shall I say, surprised: "What are you doing here? We are practicing very well here. Why did you come here from America?" etc.

Taking into account only Master's wish and the deep desire for as many people as possible, among them members of government, to get the chance to learn about Falun Gong, we set off. Imagine my surprise when the response I got from parliamentarians was "We have been waiting for you. Can you meet with the entire commission in half an hour?". And that is when I quickly stopped being surprised, because I understood that Dafa is boundless. Master's help is boundless, and I just have to make sure that I'm not restricting myself with my attachments and habits, and make sure that I'm in the Fa.

Despite my understanding of the gravity of the situation in the entire world, Poland remained in my heart and in my thoughts. I could only come for short periods of time, but how could I help develop the cultivation environment? I could only imagine that it would be necessary for a group of committed practitioners to be available 24/7, for I myself enjoyed that kind of a great environment. My heart ached when I saw the lack of such an environment and, first and foremost, the lack of Zhuan Falun and other of Master's works in Polish.

At a certain meeting at which Master taught the Fa, I had the opportunity to ask what to do about the matter of Zhuan Falun in Polish. But at the same time I already knew that this situation manifested only as a consequence of my lack of enlightenment to the Fa and tightly holding on to attachments. During the entire question and answer session I felt pangs of conscience bothering me. Finally, I felt that I could not pass this test and that the only course of action was to ask, because of what was at stake. But when I raised my hand, Master turned around. Despite the fact that I realized that this was something I was supposed to figure out on my own, and that this was a test for me, I still felt perplexed.

At once I saw in another dimension that Master turned around, and from behind his back emerged a book. Opening it, he showed me that the Polish Zhuan Falun already exists and is golden and shiny. In that moment, all my inner perplexity and attachments disappeared from my heart. And as if from out of nowhere a sufficiently large number of Dafa cultivators showed up in Poland to organize this Fa conference in order to bring to an even greater number of practitioners a cultivation environment of Falun Dafa.

What a great honor it is to cooperate with all practitioners in organizing this conference. Thank you Master for this experience, which is the most wonderful gift on this, the ninth anniversary of my cultivation. I have a great hope, which is that I will rid myself of my mindsets and attachments even faster, raise my xinxing without stumbling, and walk well the path predestined for me.

Chinese version available at http://minghui.org/mh/articles/2006/10/3/139260.html

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