"Only Up High Does the Mist of Delusion Clear" - Becoming More Determined through Fa-study
-- Paper from the 2006 Singapore Falun Dafa Experience Sharing Conference
(Clearwisdom.net) Good morning, Revered Master and all fellow practitioners: I obtained the Fa in 1993. The deepest feeling of mine at the time when I
listened to Master's Fa lecture in person was that this was just what I was
searching for my entire life or even for all my lives. Owing to the difficulty
in letting go of wrong thoughts in delusion, I didn't begin my real cultivation
until 2001. I didn't understand Zhuan Falun well when I read it in the
beginning, but I insisted on continuing to read. When I came to my nearly
fiftieth time of reading, I started to feel that I was seeing the profound
connotations of Dafa. I made up my mind to get more determined through continuous Fa-study, to
improve myself in solid cultivation with the guidance of Fa-principles on
various levels, and to immerse myself in the salvation of sentient beings and
the validation of the Fa. There are so many experiences and ideas I would like to share with fellow
practitioners. Here I will only share with you on the issue of sickness karma.
These are my personal experiences at my specific level in cultivation. Please
kindly point out and correct any deficiencies. One time, in my dream I was rowing a small boat and entered a different
dimension. Maybe it was a certain level of heaven. People in that dimension
seamed to bear no sentiment between men and women. An old man wearing the
clothes of an ancient fisherman came to me, and brought me to his home. The
village they lived in was just like what was described in the article Peach
Blossom Shangri-la by Tao Yuanming (365 - 427 AD), a famous Chinese
writer: tranquil and peaceful. The old man's son and daughter-in-law talked with
me cordially. I found the characters they used were very close to the Chinese
characters, but the pronunciation was different. When I was wondering about what
I saw, I heard a loud and clear voice from the sky, "Different levels have
different Fa, and the Fa manifests differently on different levels. Continue
upgrading yourself in cultivation." When I woke up I felt like I was
drifting down in the clouds and fog, but that voice kept lingering in my ears. When I attained the Fa I was a healthy girl, I had my job, and I was
gradually setting up my personal business. In those years I was so devoted to my
business that I almost neglected my eating and sleeping. All I pursued then were
everyday person's pursuits. However, everything in one's life is not arranged
according to what he or she wants, but according to his or her karma. In 1998, I
began to develop symptoms of so-called "rheumatism arthritis." The
joints all over my body ached unendurably. My feet would get inflamed so
fiercely that I couldn't put on my shoes. When I used the wash room, I even
needed my mother to help me to pull up my pants. My mother then told me,
"You can try practicing Falun Gong." I then went to the practice site.
After less than two weeks of practicing, I could walk very quickly! Meanwhile, I
realized that I was suffering because of the karma accumulated in my past lives,
therefore I became more tolerant in xinxing cultivation.
Sometimes I felt huge stabbing pains in my feet when I stood there, but I
thought confidently, "Everything will be alright once my karma is
repaid," but the happiness didn't last long. The Chinese Communist Party (CCP)
launched the persecution against Falun Gong on July 20, 1999, and our practice
site was banned. I felt a great pain in my heart that such an elegant practice
was banned, and just at the time that I had found the true goal in my life.
However, I just followed the ban bewilderedly and stopped practicing. Soon after
that I saw, in my dream, Master come to me sitting in the lotus position. I knew
what Teacher was going to say, but I said, "I don't want anymore."
Teacher looked at me silently, and then left me without saying anything. When I
woke up, I had a deep feeling of loss. Now when I look back, I realize that my
understanding of Dafa at that time was limited to karma repayment, and I knew
nothing about higher Fa-truths at all. I then went back to being an everyday person, seeking my fame and fortune. I
would get the merciful hints from Master from time to time, but I was reluctant
to think more about them, I therefore missed a lot of chances. "It is because there is such a principle in the universe: Ordinary
human affairs, according to the Buddha School, all have predestined
relationships. Birth, old age, illness, and death exist as such for ordinary
people." (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun, 2000 translation version) In 2001, my pains came back and I was diagnosed with "rheumatism."
After one week of infusions at the hospital, I almost passed out because of the
over-use of medicine. I knew "rheumatism" was incurable according to
medical science, and I became very desperate again. My mother told me one more
time, "You should pick up your practice." I deeply knew that
practicing was also a difficult thing, it really meant to me a choice between
life and death at that time. When I calmed down, I eventually chose Dafa instead
of fame, fortune and sentiment. Maybe at that time I did that still rather
passively as I wanted to survive, but gradually I got determined in my
continuous Fa-study. During the process of doing the three things, Master opened up my
Third Eye. One time, I became so attached to an everyday person's thing that I
felt painful again at night, and sending righteous thoughts didn't help. Soon
after laying down on the sofa, I saw that in a certain life, I had killed a
person on a dark cobblestone road on a rainy and gloomy night, and then tied his
body up and jammed it under an iron chair by the roadside. I was so afraid, and
my heart raced wildly. Oh, I've killed a human being in a previous life, and I
just send forth righteous thoughts only to be more comfortable now! There is no
benevolence in this. I then understood Teacher's Fa-teaching better in
"Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York," "You can have this thought: 'During the Fa-rectification of the
cosmos, I can make a reasonable arrangement for those of you who don't
interfere with my validating the Fa; I can have you become beings in the
future. Those of you who seek a benevolent resolution should leave me and wait
in my surroundings. If you really cannot leave me, then don't have any part in
interfering with me. In the future I will be able to achieve Consummation, and
I will offer you a benevolent resolution. Those who are completely bad, who
still interfere with me and who cannot remain will, according to the
standards, have to be eliminated. Even if I don't eliminate you, the Law of
the cosmos won't let you remain.' If you have that thought, it is tremendously
merciful to some of those extremely low-level beings, and it will make it easy
to eliminate those who still interfere." This July, when I was about to go join others in sending forth righteous
thoughts at the High Court, I felt extreme pain in my right foot and it got so
badly inflamed that I couldn't walk. I lost my righteous thoughts again and
thought, "It has come back." But after that, I thought of my
"remedy" several times in the past: to listen to Master's recorded Fa-teaching.
I finished listening to all 9 lectures, and felt much better on the following
morning, yet that afternoon, my foot ached and inflamed again. I thought
impatiently, "How can I go on distributing newspapers and dancing if things
continue like this..." Then I thought of sending righteous thoughts again,
and after sending forth righteous thoughts several times on the hour, it got
slightly better, but the pain did not abate. "As time passes by, one will begin to feel quite uneasy and then
become rather restless. Suffering physically and mentally can make both the
body and the mind quite uncomfortable." ( Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun,
2000 translation version) When I felt almost unable to pass this test, I saw some scenery during a
sitting meditation. In a palace in ancient Egypt, a man in white clothes and
wearing a white kerchief was ordering his subordinates to cut off a person's
feet. That man, was me in that life. Since I knew the reason, I continued my Fa-study.
Although I knew I should not acknowledge all those arrangements and should
continue my newspaper distribution, I still felt that I was lacking in righteous
thoughts, and I could not help recalling my experiences in childhood. When I saw
fellow practitioners could dance so swiftly I begged to Master repeatedly,
"I want to attend dancing so that I can validate the Fa." One day, when I studied Master's "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago
Conference," I learned, "Of course, we don't acknowledge any of the things that the old forces
arranged--I as your master don't acknowledge them, and Dafa disciples of
course don't acknowledge them either. (Applause) But after all, they
did do what they wanted to do, so there's all the more reason for Dafa
disciples to do even better and cultivate themselves well in the course of
saving all beings. When you encounter ordeals during your cultivation, you
have got to cultivate yourself and look at yourself--that doesn't mean
acknowledging the ordeals arranged by the old forces and trying to do well
amidst the ordeals they've arranged, that's not the case. We negate even the
very emergence of the old forces and everything that they've arranged; we
don't even acknowledge their existence. We're fundamentally negating all of
their things, and all of, and only, the things you do while negating and
getting rid of them is mighty-virtue. It's not that you're cultivating amidst
the ordeals they created. Rather, you are to walk your own path well while not
acknowledging them, not even acknowledging the elimination of their ordeals'
manifestations. (Applause) So looking at it from this angle, what we
need to do is completely negate the old forces. Dafa disciples and I don't
even acknowledge the manifestations of their last-ditch efforts." Yes, weren't all reincarnations and lives arranged? So isn't it acknowledging
what the old forces arranged when I am feeling helpless in front of their
arrangements? And the recollection of my childhood is just a manifestation of an
everyday person's mentality. Merciful Master is forgiving all beings' errors in
the past but the old forces are attached to what they want and are destroying
beings... It was really dangerous, if I hadn't studied the Fa I really couldn't
know about the Fa-principle on that level. "The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa
can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts."
("Drive Out Interference" from Essentials for Further Advancement
II) After I strengthened my righteous thoughts, I made up my mind to negate all
arrangements made by the old forces, and whenever an ordinary person's thought
showed up, I kept reciting Master's Fa-lecture, "Calmly reflect on the attachments you have ("Don't Be Sad," from Hong Yin II, Translation Version A) My feet then became much less painful. Even when they hurt sometimes, it
could not touch my heart. I kept digging out the root of my attachment, and I
found that the repeated pains I suffered in those years were also because of my
initial thought. Initially I had the thought that Master would remove those
minor attachments left in cultivation when we get close to consummation, then we
can walk on a relatively easier path. That showed the selfishness in my heart.
We need to cleanse ourselves of it. Only when we cultivate ourselves by each
tiny thought can we save more beings While I am writing now, my eyes are blurred with tears. Our merciful Master
is once again printing the Fa-teaching in my brain, "Compassion can harmonize Heaven and Earth, ushering in spring ("The Fa Rectifies the Cosmos," from Hong Yin II) This is all I was enlightened to in the process of "sickness karma"
repayment. Karma repayment, benevolent solutions, eliminating selfishness, and
then the merciful salvation of all sentient beings---represent the continuous
upgrading of a being's xinxing in the process of cultivation. Conclusion: With indescribable joys that can only be experienced by
cultivators, I, as a brand new being trying to bring niceness to others as
Master taught, am expressing my most sincere appreciation to our benevolent and
great Master. I will definitely do well all I need to do, and prove myself
worthy of Master's merciful and arduous salvation. Finally, let us encourage each other with two poems from Hong Yin
and Hong Yin Volume II. Nothing No nothing, no emptiness, no anything (from Hong Yin II, Translation Version A) Delusion Multitudinous are the lives that fill the Firmament, (from Hong Yin, Translation Version A) Thank you, Master, Thank you, fellow practitioners!
Remove your human thoughts
and evil will naturally die out"
Righteous thoughts can save the people in this world"
No goodness, no evil--
beyond the extremes
A forward move,
myriad things come into being
A step back,
all turns to nothing,
forever to be a mystery
Layer upon layer, each with its Heaven and Earth.
So incredible and wonderful the spectacle,
But the common man is too lost, caught in delusion.
How easy to say, it is, yet so hard to really see,
For cultivation is like climbing steps.
Only up high does the mist of delusion clear,
There the magnificent sight appears--
miraculous,
indescribable!
Chinese version available at
http://minghui.org/mh/articles/2007/1/28/147755.html
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