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"Cultivating" While "Practicing"
(Clearwisdom.net) I would like to thank benevolent Master for giving me
this opportunity to share my experiences with everyone. The following are some
of my experiences. It was in February, 2004 that I started cultivating in Dafa. Speaking
frankly, at that time I only knew that people who practice Falun Gong were good,
honest people. I must thank Master for arranging Mr. Cai and Feng'e for me when
I just started practicing Falun Gong. They used their own time to accompany me
in reading Falun Gong teachings and doing the exercises. This allowed me to
start gradually understanding Falun Gong. This lasted until the Asian and
Pacific Area Falun Dafa Experience Sharing Conference held in Singapore. I was
assigned to a group with several diligent Taiwanese practitioners. While sharing
experiences with them, I was surprised to learn that what I was practicing is
Buddha's Fa. By practicing the exercises and reading the teachings one can
cultivate to become a Buddha! It seemed from then on I started consciously
paying attention to the people and happenings around me. (Before, other people
had always said that I was a person "not interested in mundane
affairs." I wasn't interested in anything around me. The goal of my life
before was not to allow the common customs to pollute me and I liked it that
way. I intended to try hard to be that way for all my life) On that day when I
came to understand, I started to have trouble with my visa. But at that time I
did not know how to cultivate. Now when I recall my path, it was really that
only with fellow practitioner's help I was able to pass each of the tests. I
stumbled along, and did not actively use each of the tests to eliminate my
attachment. I remember that at one time, I even asked a fellow practitioner,
"How do you know when it is ordinary people's mentality?" He said,
"Read Master's books more. You will then be able to recognize them."
At that time I thought ignorantly, "Nonsense. Is people's thinking the
people's mentality? I don't understand." I was lucky that I kept practicing
Dafa. Even though I was not in the Fa all the time, I still diligently wanted to
become a Buddha, even though I was not very clear about how to cultivate. One day in 2006, some fellow practitioners asked me to lead a chorus team. I
really didn't know what to do. At the beginning, I was not willing to accept the
position. One reason was the late practice times. If we practiced every Sunday,
I would get home very late. Another reason was that what I was thinking about
all day long was a set of piano teaching materials and how to teach piano. If I
started to teach chorus, I still had to think about teaching piano, even though
when I just began working at the university I taught two years of vocal music.
But because I liked the piano teaching, I pushed off the vocal music teaching,
and for 15 or 16 years I had not thought about it. If I started teaching again,
I thought it would bring me a lot of trouble. But it was strange that during
that period, there was always someone from the chorus team who kept talking to
me about it, until one day I recalled Master's words about how Dafa disciple's
skills were given for Dafa. I then developed some understanding on that topic.
From that night on, I started teaching the chorus team. (1) Facing Difficulties At first, what I faced was a group of people without specialized training.
They did not have vocal music backgrounds and did not have special skills. After
I taught the first class, I went home with a lot of thoughts. In college I
choose the better ones among the specialized students to teach, and I could not
even guarantee the result then. Here I had to teach without making choices. If I
did not try hard, what would be the result? However, I knew that I should not be
selfish. I wanted to do better, and even better. When flowers blossom, there is
no need to worry about them having no colors. I taught one class after another,
and gradually the team started to have the feeling of a chorus team, but in my
mind I knew that I wanted them to be even better. (2) Facing the Challenge of XinxingAfter the chorus team
started to improve, I knew that doing it this way was correct and we needed to
be persistent. But some things started to surface. What I was facing were
neither students nor the members of a professional chorus team. They were
individual practitioners. I often forget that for this group, I should not
demand them to be here at the specified time, and I could not force them to
practice each of the homework assignments well and punish them otherwise. There
was only the requirement of xinxing. If one comes to understand, he will
do it and if he does not understand, he will not do it. I can only cultivate
myself and I should not order the other practitioners to do things. But it was
not easy to understand this point. That day, I bluntly said to the team members:
"Next time we must start at 7:30 sharp. You don't have to come in if you
are late by 10 minutes. Even ordinary people taking classes need to be on time.
Should we be on time as practitioners who follow a higher standard? Why are we
this way? I am really not used to it!" After that I started teaching the
class. After the class ended that day, on my way home, I yelled at two fellow
practitioners, "How can it be this way? You come when you want and you go
when you want. I had to wait here by myself and I had to hold my xinxing
to deal with them with patience, and I had to do it without pursuit. Where is
your consideration for others?" I kept dumping my complaints and grievances
on them. But they only smiled and did not argue with me. That night I was angry,
"Why as practitioners do they only request things of others, but they do
not want to do well themselves?" I had completely forgotten that I am also
a practitioner wanting to cultivate to a selfless enlightened being, and I was
helping others to elevate while forgetting to cultivate myself. That night I was very depressed and I asked myself if could I continue my
cultivation and did I want to keep cultivating? Of course the answer was yes.
One day while I was doing the sitting meditation, Master's words appeared in
front of me and one of the phrases was to cultivate while doing things for
others well. Master also said, "Amidst the complex environment of everyday people and its
interpersonal xinxing frictions, you are able to rise above and beyond--this
is the most difficult thing. It is hard in that you knowingly lose your vested
interests among everyday people. Amidst your critical self-interests, are you
moved? ..." (Zhuan Falun)"Today we have made public to you
this great practice. I have already delivered it to your doorstep. It is up to
you whether you can practice cultivation and make it. If you can do it, you
may continue your cultivation. If you cannot do it or cannot practice
cultivation, from now on you can forget about practicing cultivation."
(Zhuan Falun) Tears ran down my face, "How bad my comprehension is! I had failed the
test Master had carefully arranged for me to elevate my xinxing. After
that lesson, I stopped complaining and I truly understood that my cultivation
path was to cultivate while "practicing" and to "practice"
while cultivating myself. I then started to accept my cultivation path with
pleasure and I was no longer afraid of or complained about the difficulties on
my cultivation path. I clearly realized that anything can change when the time
comes but I will firmly cultivate Dafa and that will never change. I will not
stop my cultivation steps for any reason. I want to be a nurturing spring breeze, quietly letting the places where the
breeze has blown over turn green and be prosperous, and to truly be the quietly
nurturing rain! Again, thanks to benevolent Master and thanks to the members of the chorus
team who have given me the opportunities to cultivate and grow, and thanks to
the fellow practitioners who have quietly helped me to elevate. Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners! |