(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings to Master and fellow practitioners,
Recently, as one of the ten practitioners accused in the Singapore court case, I have accumulated some experiences in this process and wish to share them with you.
There was a debate regarding whether we should recruit a lawyer when the case first started. I persistently expressed my desire to get a lawyer and refused to consider other practitioners' viewpoints. I also felt defensive when I heard differing opinions and was ready to shoot them down whenever they came up. Due to my concern that the practitioners' differing opinions would influence the accused, I started to call them one by one, trying to persuade them to agree to the lawyer. Some practitioners suddenly changed their minds after agreeing to hire a lawyer. At that time, I was furious and berated them. I felt then that my views were the most correct and that I saw things more clearly than anyone else.
During that period of time, I was also having major difficulties and felt very stressed. I often cried and felt that nobody understood me. The practitioners involved in the case faced many predicaments. The dispute over the recruiting of a lawyer, when seen from an ordinary person's viewpoint, seesawed between having one and not having one. Practitioners in Singapore and overseas were unaware of this chaotic situation.
A practitioner who was a lawyer was interacting with practitioners involved in the case and shared many cases they had handled. She said that her greatest understanding from these cases was team cooperation. She said: "You may have chosen the best method to handle the case, but because of friction and lack of cooperation and gaps in understanding between the practitioners, this issue will ultimately never be solved properly. Conversely, if you choose the worst method, but practitioners support it with righteous thoughts and cooperate and accommodate each other, the issue will be resolved very well. All of us practitioners come from different universes, with different backgrounds and fates. Therefore, our cultivation paths, perceptions and understandings of the Fa principles are distinctly different. To have differences and disagreements is normal, but what is important is that practitioners with differing views can put them down and support the case. When everyone can truly unite, coordinate, and support each other, when we can together attain higher levels and reach our requirements, the tribulation by the old forces will naturally no longer exist. The case will also have a positive outcome."
I realized later that the recruiting of a lawyer was not important; what mattered was coordination and cooperation between practitioners. The old forces established these obstacles as an excuse to test Dafa practitioners' cultivation together as a whole. If everyone was stubborn in his or her views and refused to cooperate and lend support, partition between practitioners would be unavoidable. The moment I let go of my attachments, my body suddenly felt light. The joy I experienced was indescribable. The stress I had felt in the past vanished within seconds. I understood that the stress and hurt which I had experienced were all unfounded troubles that arose from my own attachments.
Recently, I saw a cultivation experience sharing paper called "Supernatural Capabilities of Precognition and Cultivation," and I understood that my acquaintances, be they family, friends or fellow practitioners, all have their own different fates. Some of these are benefactors and some are debtors, so how they treat you�"good or bad�"is not without reason. Some practitioners may disagree with fellow practitioners, perhaps because they had a debt in the past. The old forces are using these debts to create differences between practitioners and spread disunity.
I remember the same lawyer practitioner mentioned that, during an interaction session before entering the court, she suddenly felt unhappy about a particular practitioner. She felt uncomfortable inwardly and immediately realized that this state of mind was wrong. Right away she told this practitioner, "I'm unhappy with you." Unexpectedly, that practitioner replied, "I'm also unhappy with you." The other practitioners realized that this was the old forces using their past karmic debts to encourage dissension between them. They decided to send forth righteous thoughts to clear the evil's interference. Only then did they step into the courtroom and continue to support the case and each other with righteous thoughts. The lawyer practitioner also shared the miracles that happened in court when practitioners united and cooperated.
During the course of the case, I also felt unhappy with one other practitioner. I disliked her attitude and what she said and did When she made a suggestion to me, I refused inwardly to consider it. But when I calmed myself and thoroughly considered her suggestion, I realized that it was extremely relevant. It was a view from a different angle, something which I would not have thought of. I immediately began making preparations and the issue was smoothly resolved. From this, I enlightened to the fact that a coordinator is not necessarily the decision-maker. The coordinator is responsible for calmly listening to different suggestions and viewpoints and then coordinating practitioners' efforts to execute the agreed upon course of action. The Fa has very high expectations of a coordinator. A coordinator cannot be attached to his or her opinions and must be able to let go of him or herself to coordinate and support other cases. It is difficult as one must let go of oneself.
When our representing lawyer was sent to a mental hospital, I was extremely distressed, and placed my entire mind on this situation. I thought of many ways to try to rescue him from the mental hospital, when, in reality, the entire court and media news revolved around this lawyer. Nobody truly took notice of the accused practitioners, and nobody cared about the truth behind the persecution.
The lawyer practitioner pointed out to me, "You focus more attention on our representing lawyer than on our practitioners involved in the case." I realized that during those days, I had not even considered the practitioners in the case. I had not considered how to expose the truth behind the persecution but had only thought of exposing the truth behind the discrimination against the lawyer and to get our lawyer out of the hospital. At that moment, I clearly understood that I was too obsessed, to the point that I had lost my sense of direction. Not only had I not helped the lawyer, I had, in fact, harmed him.
I was suddenly enlightened, since all along I had never doubted my own ways of doing things, assuming that they were the most correct. I had grudgingly felt that others were attached to self, without realizing that actually it was I that had that attachment. When one is blocked by one's own attachments and trapped in one's own ego, one cannot see what lies beyond and ends up burrowing into a bull's horn, with the path ahead growing narrower and narrower. Fortunately, fellow practitioners prompted me, allowing me to awaken in time. After my breakthrough, my horizons were broadened.
As someone considered capable in the eyes of everyday people, I constantly fear being criticized. A practitioner commented out of the blue, "Are external things so important to you?" I was startled and realized that Master was using her mouth to give me a hint. I'm a perfectionist and try not to offend anyone. I don't want people to say anything bad about me, in particular, not to say anything bad about my cultivation. I also wanted to clarify myself whenever anyone criticized me. That practitioner said, "You have so much 'extra baggage,' but you still wish to walk out. How can you even walk out of the gate of your own house with so much extra baggage?" How right that practitioner was! Did I really want to reach consummation while saving face? Without solid cultivation on my part, could I reach consummation by taking advantage of opportunities? After being "struck hard" by this practitioner, I became even more clear-headed, and knew clearly that it was time to let go of this attachment. How to let go of it, then?
It was difficult at the beginning. I was still afraid of being criticized by fellow practitioners. Then I thought that, rather than letting fellow practitioners point out my attachment, I'd better speak out myself. I was sensitive about my reputation and did not want to admit mistakes. Even though I knew I was wrong, I kept silent. This time, I was determined to admit it, I wanted to let go of such an attachment to my ego. When I discovered any bad thought, I was determined to speak out to fellow practitioners and expose that bad thing, because I felt that hiding it would push it deeper into my mind, due to the acquired instinct of protecting myself. As soon as I discovered it, I exposed it thoroughly. I noticed that after I spoke out, I did not feel embarrassed or as if I had lost face. On the contrary, I felt indescribably relaxed and happy. Every cell of my body seemed to be laughing. After being exposed, the bad thought was easily removed. I believe that Master saw my determination to let go of it and helped me remove it.
Once, when a Malaysian practitioner shared their experience of going to Suntec City to clarify the truth at the exhibition held for Li Lanqing, I admired those practitioners very much and told them that I had an attachment to fear and dared not to clarify the truth directly on that occasion. The practitioner did not mock me but said that everyone has fear, and it is nothing to feel embarrassed about. She also has fear, only that the degree and the way it manifests are different. She told me how she removed her fear. She also encouraged me, saying that to be brave enough to face and take my attachment seriously requires courage, and she admired my courage.
Talking about the attachment to fear, it doesn't mean just to recognize it and accept it, but to get rid of it. Some practitioners said that they study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts at home and then step out to clarify the truth to the public after they let go of their attachment to fear and after their xinxing has improved. Failing to do one of the three things, one cannot improve by only studying the Fa at home. The attachment to fear won't disappear by itself. Only in the process of doing things can it be removed bit by bit. At the beginning of the court case, I was very scared. I was afraid of losing my job and my family. I was afraid of seeing the police and entering the court. But I knew if I had the attachment to fear, the old forces would be aware of it and would make use of my attachment to increase my difficulties. No matter what, I had to discard it, as I could not back out. I understand now that, because my attachments to fame, self-interest and sentimentality had not been let go of, I was afraid of losing them, so I had fear.
When the company where I had worked for eight years decided to fire me because of the court case, I did not have fear. I didn't have hatred, either, only sympathy. Many of my colleagues saw my name in the newspaper, but they dared not ask me about it because they were afraid of hurting me. I took the initiative to tell them about the court case with confidence, and told them why it had come about. Many of them had a good relationship with me, but in the past, whenever I started talking about the truth of Falun Gong, they refused to listen to me. But now, my being charged in court became big news in my company, all my colleagues showed concern and were curious and wanted to know why. Although this case seemed to be a big tribulation for me on surface, on the other hand, it became an opportunity for me to clarify the truth to my colleagues. Some friends and colleagues who had not wanted to listen to my truth clarification phoned me to learn about the truth, and finally they told me that they admired me, though they did not understand much about Falun Gong.
From the beginning of the court case till now, I have experienced many tribulations and fallen many times along the way. I was fortunate that fellow practitioners have been encouraging me, reminding me, and helping me enlighten to many Fa principles, and I've improved a lot. When fellow practitioners pointed out my problem, it was hard to accept at the beginning, and I felt sad. But Master has told us nothing is accidental, so if it was not to play a role in improving me, this thing would not have happened. Master told us to look within whenever encountering any problem. Therefore, I forced myself not to push it aside when I heard criticism about me, but I kept silent. If I did not feel balanced in my heart, I would study the Fa. When I calmed down and reviewed fellow practitioners' criticism, I looked within and would see my attachment and get rid of it. The feeling of being uncomfortable lasted for a few days at the beginning, but now the time is shortened and I can overcome it in several minutes.
The above are some of my experiences and understandings. Due to the limits of my level, please kindly point it out if any of my understandings is inappropriate.
Thank you.
