(Clearwisdom.net) On the evening of March 22, 2007, policemen illegally broke into my house, and searched and confiscated my property. After that incident, I looked within myself and tried to find my weaknesses. At that period of time I was not able to eat or sleep well. I was not happy with myself and did not cultivate well. I was not able to protect Master's books Zhuan Falun and Falun Gong, nor his lectures or Master's pictures. I have cultivated for such a long time, but I still could not be a deserving Dafa disciple. I used to believe that I was very steadfast, during the process of protecting Dafa, the Fa rectification and opposing the persecution. I have experienced 11 years of hardships. How could I forget that I should steadfastly protect the Fa?. As long as I am here the Fa should be here. Why did the evil take away my Dafa books? This means that I had not cultivated well. My heart felt extreme pain.
In thinking about the situation when they came to search my house, I realized that at that time I just tried to explain to them what Dafa is. From their words, I realized that they had already prepared before coming to my home. Someone must have told them that I had contacted Dafa practitioners from other regions. It seemed that they were searching for evidence. When I was trying to explain to them about Dafa, I forgot to eliminate the evil factors behind them. I also forgot to ask Master for help and to strengthen my righteous thoughts. I didn't remind myself that I am a practitioner on the way to becoming a god, and that I have strong energy. At that time, I just passively endured with fear. The evil interfered and I felt thirsty the entire time and wanted to drink water, but I forgot to proactively eliminate all the evil forces behind it. Eventually, I agreed with the evil's request, since I didn't have strong righteous thoughts. Consequently, I had this bad experience.
Through studying the Fa with a clear mind, I gradually realized that Master is pushing the Fa rectification faster and faster, and it is now most urgent that we save sentient beings. Our time and energy should all be devoted to saving people. We should not simply live through and passively endure the evil's persecution. I should brace myself up, find my weaknesses and attachments, eliminate them, learn from the lessons, and do better in the future. Master said,
"Whether you are right or wrong, you should examine yourself. Cultivation is about getting rid of human attachments." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles, 2006")
Master also said,
"We have also said that if every one of us cultivates his inner self, examines his own xinxing to look for the causes of wrongdoing so as to do better next time, and considers others first when taking any action..." ("Lecture Nine," Zhuan Falun, March 2000 translation version)
A month ago, I read an experience sharing article "The Road to Return" written by a practitioner from Chengdu, Sichuan Province. In the article, the evil came to search a practitioner's home and arrested her. When I read this, a thought came to my mind. Her righteous thoughts were not strong enough. It would have been fine had she refused to let the evil enter her house. The incident turned out as it did because she didn't explain Dafa well enough to people and had fear at the same time. However, I also thought, "What if the evil came to search my house? What would I do?" I knew I should take precautions. I hid Master's books and all his lectures, as well as information materials, in different places, so that they couldn't be found.
Previously, the evil had tried to search my house two times, but in those situations I did send forth righteous thoughts that didn't allow them to get into my room. As a result, the evil didn't dare to come into my room. They didn't get what they wanted and left. After that I didn't really think clearly, and thought this happened because my righteous thoughts were strong. I didn't realize that it was because I had done what Master told us to do, and studied the Fa well, so no problems would occur. Now I realize that I had the mindset of showing off. When I went out explaining to people about Dafa and successfully persuaded them to withdraw from the CCP, other practitioners also told me that I did a good job, and then I felt joyful.
In fact, everything was because of Master's Fa power and the mighty virtue of Dafa. Everything was done by Master. I just did that little thing that a practitioner should do, and then my joyful mindset arose. When I explained the situation of Dafa to people, some parts were not good enough. I still had a mindset of differentiation and fear, but I thought I was very rational. Also my attachment of sentimentality toward relatives was still strong. My children were laid off from state-owned enterprises, they searched for other jobs and some of their jobs were very hard. They also didn't have a stable income. I always worried about them. I did the shopping and cooked for them, helped to watch their children and did a lot of house work. Even ordinary people said that I was a dutiful nursemaid. I was busy all day long, and many times it hindered me from doing the three things. I even thought that I owed them from a previous life. I wanted to maintain an ordinary state for cultivation, so that my daughter would think that I was also good at home.
Because of my numerous attachments, I was taken advantage of by the evil. Now I dig them out and eliminate them. Master said,
"To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments." ("Lecture One" from Zhuan Falun)
I will find my weaknesses and attachments. I will require myself to be diligent in cultivation according to Dafa, and carefully do the three things that Master asked us to do. Then on the divine road, I will catch up quickly and reach consummation.