Looking in the Mirror

By Jingsi, a practitioner in China

(Clearwisdom.net) I am a Falun Dafa practitioner from Northern China. Some time ago I went to a southern city for family reasons. At first I really wanted to contact local practitioners in the south, yet I didn't until recently. For years I got along by studying Zhuan Falun, and with my own faith in Dafa and Master.

At that time I did not have access to the Internet, so I could not obtain Master's new articles when they came out. Whenever I went to my hometown or when someone from my hometown came here, fellow practitioners would give me the new articles. When I went home, I brought many things back. Fellow practitioners worried that police on the train would search me. With master's protection, and by maintaining the righteous thoughts of a Dafa disciple, I went home safely every time. Now I can use the Internet anytime, and get whatever I want, thanks to the protection of Master, the miracle of Dafa, and the power of righteous thoughts.

When I encountered tribulations, Master's lectures resounded in my ears, helping me pass the tests one by one. This year a fellow practitioner from my hometown came to this area, and I arranged accommodations for him. After a while, conflicts surfaced. Whenever he came to my home to use the Internet, he was looking for another job. He already had a job, but he said that his boss was not good, so he wanted to find a better job. I asked him to add ink to the printer cartridge, but he forgot. His head was filled with looking for a job. I wanted to point this out, but human feelings prevented me from doing so, and I just quietly felt unhappy. I thought, "You call yourself a cultivator, but you do even worse than an ordinary person."

One day he said to me angrily, "When you spoke with your colleagues, you did not look like a cultivator at all. It seems that you just want to make money. Your cultivation state has stayed the same as before. Is this behaving like a cultivator??"

I became very angry, and really wanted to point at him and say, "What right do you have to criticize me?" Then, I could hear Master's lectures in my ears, and I went to another room to look inside.

When my husband and I divorced, I got most of the property. I live with my daughter and life is very difficult. Thanks to the Fa, we managed to get through it. After the persecution began on July 20, 1999, many practitioners were arrested and fined. I have always helped out fellow practitioners financially. Some practitioner couples were both detained, so I brought their kids to my home. No matter which practitioner had difficulty, once I heard about it, I would help him financially. So why did this fellow practitioner say that I just cared about making money?

I went home to study the Fa. I noticed that Master said,

"...when a conflict arises between two people and it's seen by a third person, even the third person should think to himself..." ("Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia," 1999)

At night I slept and dreamed that I stood in front of a big mirror and looked inside. I suddenly understood, as I had not been in contact with fellow practitioners for a long time. I stayed by myself and had no fellow practitioners to communicate with. Master asked us to do the three things, but I did not do them well. There was a period when I did not practice the exercises often. Master is so compassionate. He does not want me to lag behind, so he arranged for this practitioner to come to my home and help me cultivate. How could I treat him like this?

Through studying the Fa, I found many attachments, including attachments to fame, gain, and sentiment. I had not let them go. Actually I had all of the attachments that I saw in this practitioner. Now some of the attachments are exposed, which helps me realize the seriousness of the attachments. After I found the attachments, I felt at ease. I told the practitioner how Master helped show me the attachments I found in myself after studying the Fa. I told him how previously, I saw his problem but I did not tell him, because of human sentiment. I asked him to point out my problems if he saw anything. He told me that day after I went to another room, that he also looked inside, and found that he did not have benevolence at that time. He also asked me to point out any of his shortcomings.

Through looking inside, we both saw our attachments.

Through sharing, we felt that before we were, in a way, recognizing the arrangements of the old forces. Master does not recognize the old forces, so neither should we. Previously there had been many times I wanted to write experience sharing articles, but I used the excuse that my education level was low and I did not know how to type, so how could I write well? On top of that, the old forces caused me not to have time time to write. Today I sent forth righteous thought to eliminate the effects of the old forces persecuting me, and I pleaded with Master to strengthen me, as I must write my experience sharing paper.

Now every day at 3:50 a.m., I will practice the exercises together with all practitioners in China. From now on, we will do the three things together and keep up with the quick pace of Fa-rectification. We should not fall short of Master's expectations.

I am sincerely grateful to Master! I miss Master very much! Very, very much! The disciples of China miss Master very much!

Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2007/5/16/154922.html

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