(Clearwisdom.net) During the past seven years of Fa-rectification cultivation, I have had times when I wandered off the path and made some mistakes. At the same time, I also have gained experience and learned some lessons in doing the three things. I am writing them down here to share with fellow practitioners.

After July 20,1999, facing the persecution of Falun Dafa, I was shocked and did not know what to do. I went to Beijing to appeal for Dafa, but I was arrested and escorted back. My workplace put heavy pressure on me and fined me nearly 10,000 yuan.

For nearly two years, I seldom read Dafa books or practiced the exercises. However, I spoke with fellow practitioners and became aware of specific cases of persecution of practitioners. We also talked about what some fellow practitioners had done to protest the persecution. We encouraged each other not to give in to the evil forces.

As the persecution accelerated, I was detained and tortured many times because I continued to practice Falun Gong exercises in public and appealed for Falun Gong. The evildoers increased their pressure on me; hence, I became the main target of persecution at my workplace. My home phone, residence, and whereabouts were all being monitored. The persecution became worse and worse on a daily basis; my attachment of fear also worsened. At that time, I used a human mentality to do Dafa work. Therefore, the evil forces found gaps in my cultivation and started to persecute me even more. In spring 2001, I was arrested at my workplace and sent to the labor camp to be "educated and helped." While at the forced labor camp, I was faced with the danger of being sentenced to forced labor and other kinds of high pressure. My attachment of fear was so strong that I could not let go of the human mentality. Thus I unwillingly wrote the three statements. I had "...done what a Dafa disciple absolutely should not and cannot do..." ("Dafa is Indestructible," Essentials for Further Advancement II). I followed the path arranged by the old forces and had agreed to be "transformed."

After getting out of the labor camp and having been away from the Fa, I felt ashamed. Looking back at my years of cultivation in Dafa with a calm mind, I started to see more clearly. I had not done anything wrong by cultivating Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance. The persecution itself was vicious. At that time, many fellow practitioners offered a hand by sending me Master's new lecture "Suggestion," and they encouraged me to stand up straight and walk well on my path.

In trying to learn from the painful experience, I carefully recalled my thinking when I was being "transformed" at the labor camp. At the time, if I had not agreed to be "transformed," I would have been sentenced to forced labor. First of all, I could not let go of life or death, fearing that I would be forced to do hard labor or even tortured to death. Secondly, I could not let go of my pursuit of happiness. Seeing the harsh situation that fellow practitioners faced in the labor camp, I did not want to suffer that kind of evil persecution. Deep in my heart, I wanted to cultivate. However, I still had a strong wish for happiness in this human world. At that time, my living and working conditions were upscale, hence I was very afraid of losing everything. When the evil test came, I took the wrong path and was "transformed." The reason for it was that I could not lay aside the vested interests I had in the human world. One of my hands held onto the human world, and the other hand held onto the divine world. This was why the evil forces found some gaps. I felt guilty, but I did not sink and drown. I knew at that moment that the worst situation would be if I went astray and remained still, lying down there. I should stand up and start walking well on my path. Of the two options--to be steadfast in Dafa or to continue to give in to the evil forces--I decided that I would stay with Dafa and that nothing would shake my firm stance again.

During this time, the evildoers were afraid that I would return to cultivation in Dafa. They frequently called me and exchanged some so-called "thoughts." Their goal was to find out my real thoughts through talking with me. In order to intensify their persecution of me, they attempted to take me to a brainwashing class and have me play the role of an "assistant teacher." Under this pressure, I thought that leaving my workplace was the reasonable choice to act against the persecution, so as to best fit the conditions of ordinary human society. I totally laid aside the pursuit of ordinary human benefits. To act against the persecution, I left home.

In the meantime, I also sent my solemn statement to the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. I sent a copy of my statement to my workplace. I also sent several copies to those who had been affected because of my "being transformed" and to their workplaces. I did so to save the losses that I brought to Dafa.

After some preparation, I left home. I did not know how I would walk on my future path of cultivation, how many more days were left before the Fa-rectification reached the human world, and what kinds of additional tribulations I would encounter. I did not leave to temporarily avoid more trouble; neither did I have any intent to try my luck. My mind was very clear, pure, and steadfast. I held firmly that I would "Be resolute cultivating Dafa, the mind unstirred." ("The Character Is Revealed," Hong Yin Vol. II) Due to that moment's pure thought, I have since entirely denied the old forces' arrangements. I did not take the path to total destruction arranged by the old forces; instead, I took the path that Master arranged for me to cultivate.

From being so-called "transformed" in the labor camp, I saw in myself many human attachments that were the reasons the evil forces found their chance to persecute me. Master told us,

"The only way to prevent the old, evil forces from taking advantage of the gaps in your mind is to make good use of your time to study the Fa." ("Towards Consummation," Essentials for Further Advancement II)

For this reason, the first thing I did after I left home was to read Dafa books with a calm mind. Having a clear view of the true essence of the persecution of Falun Gong has helped me establish a solid foundation to walk my path well.

Through reading Dafa books, I gained a better understanding of many things. I understood the relationship between Master's Fa-rectification and the old forces' persecution, the relationship between the evildoers in human society and the vicious beings in the universe as well as the old forces, and the relationship between practitioners' personal cultivation and Fa-rectification. I also gained a better understanding of practitioners' suffering through tribulations and tests and the magnificent responsibility and tasks that practitioners carry in the Fa-rectification period. After that, my faith in Master and Dafa was strengthened. From then on, everything I did was related to the three things: studying the Fa, clarifying the truth about Falun Gong, and sending forth righteous thoughts.

My attachment to fear has been my strongest connection to human mentality since the beginning of the persecution. Especially after I left home, fear had become the largest barrier that prevented me from clarifying the truth. Fear manifested to such an extent that whenever I walked on the streets, I would feel that eyes were watching me all over the place. If I saw a police vehicle, I would feel that someone was following me. The sound of sirens in the evening scared me. However, in the process of doing the three things well, this attachment gradually lessened.

Everything started out with difficulties. My first instance of stepping out to clarify the facts was also the beginning of the elimination of my fear. When I first went out to distribute truth-clarification materials, I carried only several copies in my pockets. I was scared and my mind was not steady. I felt as if there were people everywhere watching me. It felt unsafe wherever I placed the fliers. Seeing no one around, I collected my courage and put a copy into a mailbox. My heart beat very rapidly. Only after I left that building and saw that everything was as still as usual, did I settle down. In another building, after seeing no one around, I put several fliers into the mailboxes. I placed my final copy into a basket mounted onto a bicycle, and then I quickly turned away. My mind settled down only when I saw that people in the area were still going about their own business. It was, in fact, that I had scared myself.

After this first experience, and as I continued to distribute materials, I carried more and more copies with me when I went out. The number of copies that I carried increased over time from over ten copies to over twenty copies and eventually to about 100 copies. The more experience I got, the less fear I had and the more rational I became. When I went out alone, I usually did not carry a bag; I just carried several dozen copies of the materials on my body. In this way, I would not draw people's attention. I walked naturally when entering and leaving the buildings; I knew that I could not do it too hurriedly. After entering the building, I walked upstairs and, at the same time, observed the proper locations where I could place the materials. If it was during the daytime, I would place the materials in such locations where they could be noticed by the people living there but not by those who came up and down the stairs. In this way, I could ensure that the materials would not be found before I left the building; otherwise, it could compromise my safety. I did not place too many copies in each building, only two or three. After I finished one building, I would quickly leave. I did not stay too long in one neighborhood, so as to prevent people from noticing me walking back and forth in that area. Sometimes, when I carried many copies of the materials, I would buy some fruit and use it to cover up the materials. It seemed as if I was carrying the fruit to visit relatives or friends. I also wrapped the materials ahead of time with newspaper so that no one could see, from the outside, the materials wrapped inside. Moreover, I paid particular attention to the monitoring devices at the entrance of each neighborhood; in this way, I could know the surroundings well.

On occasion, I have needed to carry many copies of the materials with me. For example, I once took 300 to 400 copies. On such occasions, I have always asked a fellow practitioner to go with me to give out the materials. The fellow practitioner and I did not separate because it could lead to two issues. First, we could easily lose each other, which would increase our stress if we could not find each other. Second, if we each carried too many copies, our minds could become unsteady and some problems may occur. One of us carried the materials and stayed outside the residential neighborhood to send forth righteous thoughts, while the other one took twenty to thirty copies to distribute in the neighborhood. In this way, we could easily carry and distribute many materials and not worry.

I also encountered some abrupt situations while distributing the materials. One day, when I was placing one copy beside a milk carton in front of one family's door, a person came out of the door and asked me what I had put there. I immediately took the copy back, saying that I had not put anything there. He did not question me further. Then while talking to him, I left. Because he had just opened the door, he could not see clearly what I had done. If I had not taken away the copy, that person would have noticed that the material was about the persecution of Falun Gong. This could have caused a safety issue.

On another occasion, I carried a bag of truth-clarification materials. I took out a copy. When I was just about to place it somewhere, a person came down the stairs. He stared at the materials in my hand. Seeing him, I thought that if I turned back and went down the stairs, I would seem suspicious to that person. So I went directly up the stairs. When I reached the second floor, that person still stood there watching me. I asked that person, "Is (so-and-so) here?" That person replied in an unfriendly tone, "There is no such person here." Then I left.

Later on, in clarifying the facts, I encountered such sudden incidents many times. As I became used to it, I was not nervous anymore. The more naturally I acted, the less likely I would cause suspicion in others. As I continued to clarify the facts about Falun Gong, my mind became more and more steady. I gained more and more wisdom, and my fear became less and less.

Fear is a substance. It cannot be eliminated if one simply wants to get rid of it by staying at home. It can only be gradually eliminated during the process of one's clarifying the facts. One has to take the first step forward under the protection of Master's Law Bodies. Then, by using the wisdom that one has obtained from the Fa, one's righteous thoughts will be strengthened with one's accumulation of experience, and one's fear will diminish during the process of giving out more and more materials.

I had several special experiences of breaking through the evil persecution, which also helped me eliminate a lot of my fear. For example, a fellow practitioner and I once wanted to go to a relative's home. Just before we left for the trip, the fellow practitioner suddenly felt stomach pain, so we could not go. We stayed at home and continued to study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts. When we arrived at the relative's home the next day, we learned that officers had watched his home that whole day and left very late. The fellow practitioner's stomach pain, which seemed to be accidental, had made the persecution attempt fail.

On another occasion, a fellow practitioner and I prepared to go a classmate's home to tell him about the persecution of Falun Gong. We needed to transfer buses during the trip. When we reached the gate of the bus station, a bus was just leaving. We could have stopped the bus and gotten on, but the fellow practitioner said, "There are already many people on the bus; let's wait for the next bus." We went inside the station to wait for the next bus. We needed to wait about fifteen minutes before the next one departed. Seeing that I still had time, I called the classmate and found out that people from my former work unit were there looking for me. We stayed a night at another friend's home and also clarified the truth to him and his family. The next day, we confirmed that the threat was gone at my classmate's home and went there to clarify the facts about Falun Gong.

Another situation occurred when a fellow practitioner and I took materials to a relatively remote area by train to clarify the facts. On the way, four or five policemen suddenly came on board to search the bags. The police randomly searched the passengers' luggage. When they were about to search ours, they suddenly stopped. They, instead, used their hands to feel the bags from the outside. One of the police officers had already touched the materials we carried. He used his hands to repetitively feel the materials. This was the first time the fellow practitioner and I encountered such a situation. Because the bag contained the truth-clarification materials, we felt a little nervous. The fellow practitioner and I immediately started to send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate all evil elements behind that policeman. In a moment, the policeman turned away without asking us any questions. So one more time, under Master's protection and with sending forth righteous thoughts, an attempt to persecute us failed.

During the several years that I stayed away from home, I encountered such incidents many times. I got through all of them safely under Master's protection and with righteous thoughts. These personal experiences made me deeply understand that, as long as Dafa practitioners maintain righteous thoughts and believe in Master and Dafa, Master's Law Bodies will always protect us. The evil persecution is targeting our fears and attachments. As long as our minds are on the Fa and we truly do the three things well with our hearts, the evil will have no way to control Dafa disciples.

I have been walking the path of validating Dafa and rescuing sentient beings for three years. Ever since I left home, I have never tried to find a new job, so I had no income but I did have expenses. Even though I have been very thrifty in everything I do, the cost is still quite high. Each time I went out to clarify the truth, sometimes when I had walked a long distance, I would have to pay money to buy water after I drank all the water I had taken with me, or I would spend more to eat out, though I always cooked at home. The money I had brought when I left home was nearly spent. Some fellow practitioners wanted to help me, but I did not want to add to their burden. Though they also have a hard time, they also want to do things to validate the Fa and need the money. Being without money could affect my validating the Fa, which is not acceptable. I would not let the old forces tie me down for lack of money. Then what should I do? If I want to have an income, I have to look for a job.

The tight money supply helped me to become introspective of the three years of wandering about. Why was I not willing to look for a new job?

Behind the fact that I did not want to look for a job, I hid the notion of being attached to the time of Fa-rectification. I thought I could rely on my savings and that as long as I was thrifty, they would last until the end of Fa-rectification (I thought that the Fa-rectification would end in few years). So I didn't even think to find a new job.

In addition, I hid my preoccupation with reaching Consummation. I understand from studying the Fa that being human is not our purpose and returning to our true selves is the real purpose of our coming to the human world. So after I left home I thought that since I stepped forward, I wouldn't do any jobs for ordinary people. I would only do the things that related to validating the Fa and rescuing sentient beings; I felt that this was true diligence. If I went back and found a job, it would be interpreted as not letting go of those attachments to personal interest and recognition. I didn't measure my speech and actions with the Fa; instead, I measured them with a non-practitioner's mindset. My understanding of "...cultivate while maximally conforming to the ordinary human society" ("Dafa Is All-Encompassing," Essentials for Further Advancement II) was very shallow and limited.

Actually, in the past three years of clarifying the facts to family members, relatives and friends, due to my not having a job, these people have been affected in learning the facts. They thought that I didn't care about home, work or anything that ordinary people need, just because I cultivate. It is hard for them to truly understand that I decided to leave home and lost my job because I was trying to oppose to the persecution. All of these things have had a severe impact on my trying to clarify the facts and rescue sentient beings.

Through studying the Fa, I gained a better understanding of Master's Fa ,"...cultivate while maximally conforming to the ordinary human society." Dafa practitioners are utilizing the ways of ordinary people's society to validate Dafa and save sentient beings. We cannot distance ourselves from ordinary people's communities. What practitioners are doing, superficially looked at, doesn't seem to be much different from what non-practitioners would do, but our basis for doing things is different from that of ordinary people. Everything we are doing is to validate Dafa and rescue sentient beings. Comprehending the principle, I understood that I can't give the old forces any opportunity because of my thoughts to persecute me financially, or interrupt my mission to rescue sentient beings. I had to find a job again.

After 2004, I went to a job fair to look for a job. Every company looking for employees has applicants fill out a form. Because I didn't want to have people know my detailed information from the form, I left. So, I didn't find a job in those few months. I have been working for many years, so I have relatively rich work experience and strong abilities. Quite a few workplaces had invited me to work part-time for them before the onset of the persecution. However, today I have to go through the hardship of finding a job. I realized in studying the Fa that the hardship is really for me to eliminate a thought pattern. I have a very strong desire for recognition; I don't want to let my friends, schoolmates or acquaintances know that I was persecuted and lost my job and ended up in a predicament. I have a strong aversion to losing my carefully-established reputation.

In addition, I don't want to suffer the hardship. I only wanted to look for a job in that area and not look for a job somewhere else. I found my attachment, so I improved in my understanding of the Fa. Everything soon became resolved. I eventually found a job in another city, with better pay, and it fit my education.

At first I focused on my daily assignments, and during breaks I would read the Fa or listen to the Fa on the computer. This way I could both finish my work well and have some time to study the Fa, and I could also easily send forth righteous thoughts each hour. The new job and new environment didn't really affect my Fa study and sending forth righteous thoughts. In that period of time, I read again and again all of Master's new lectures chronologically, with a calm mind, especially those published after July 20, 1999. I improved constantly in my understanding of the principles of Dafa.

In studying Master's Fa, I realized I had a very strong attachment to doing things. Prior to cultivation, to reach my self-imposed goals, I took "everything depends on people's efforts" as my motto, which led to a very strong attachment to doing things. That attachment featured fairly prominent in my truth clarification; I just did things, rarely looking into the results. It seemed as though I wanted to finish in haste and cared more about the quantity than the quality. Acting in this manner might not really result in rescuing people.

For example: Once I returned to my hometown to clarify the facts. One of my relatives had just lost a child in a car accident. Because of my eagerness to do things, I only thought to clarify the facts, but didn't take into account the grief of losing a child. One can imagine the effect. I wasn't able to clarify the facts, and instead, I made a negative impression that made my relatives feel that practitioners only care about what we want to talk about, but don't understand their pain at that moment. Through this lesson I have learned about my attachment to doing things.

On another occasion, time was tight. I hurriedly rode a motorcycle to a high school teacher's home to clarify the facts. The teacher was going to leave for an art exhibition. Since I had traveled far, he invited me into his home. I should have been content to simply brief him with basic ideas and leave truth clarification CDs and other materials with him to read later on. However, caring only about having him learn more, I played files for him for over an hour on my laptop. That teacher actually wasn't in the mood for learning the facts. He merely watched and listened out of courtesy. This was my second lesson regarding my attachment to doing things.

I did not follow the Fa requirements when clarifying the facts in the two above instances; instead, driven by my ego, I was firmly attached to clarifying the facts. What actually happened was that I neither clarified the facts nor rescued anyone. Furthermore, I gave people negative and wrong ideas about Dafa with my zealotry, because practitioners are not merely representing themselves but are also representing the image of Dafa. That is why we must let go of the drive to merely do things while we clarify the facts. We have to follow Master's instructions, to not clarify the facts merely to clarify the facts, but to clarify the facts according to the situation, using ways that people can accept and taking opportunities to clarify the facts with our wisdom. That way, we can truly help people understand the facts.

When I began clarifying the facts in the area around my new workplace, I wasn't familiar with the local situation. I needed a process of getting familiar. I dressed up, carried an empty bag and went to the neighborhood to get familiar with the place. Once I was familiar, it would then be easier and look natural when I brought truth-clarification materials to distribute. Each time, I took more materials. I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible to the guards, moving around in a natural way, thus avoiding drawing their attention. I chose either dinner-time or daytime to distribute materials. I normally worked at one apartment complex with a common stairwell at a time and I tried not to return to that neighborhood, but go there only once, not be greedy, spend as little time there as possible, and not walk too far. It sometimes happened that when I had just entered a residential complex, someone was present, and this was inconvenient for materials distribution. To avoid arousing suspicion, I would come up with a name and ask the people, as though I was looking for someone who lived there. It looked natural that way.

Sometimes I also used the weekends to clarify the facts in person, at parks or other places. I understood that I should tell the facts according to my xinxing, and according to the scenario, and not merely complete a task.

On one Sunday in mid-October 2004, I went to a park to clarify the facts about Falun Gong. First I spoke to a 70-year-old man. Afterwards I saw a young fellow lying on a wooden bench. His attire was not neat. I talked to him, so as to find a lead-in to clarify the facts to him. During the conversation, I learned that he came from the countryside in Gansu Province about three weeks ago. He looked for a job to earn some money, but people couldn't understand his dialect; hence he didn't find a job. I asked him why he slept in the park during the daytime. He said he had few clothes and didn't have the money to stay in a motel. Since it's warm during the daytime, he chose to sleep during the day and then walk in the evening to maintain his body temperature. I asked him what he planned to do next. He said he would stay a couple of days just sightseeing, then he would walk back home along the train tracks while also looking for odd jobs to support the trip. While chatting with him, I also told him some facts about Falun Gong. We chatted until dusk. I learned that he didn't have the money for the train ticket home so I bought the ticket for him. The departure time was at 11:30 p.m., four hours away. I went my dormitory to get some biscuits, fruits and two big bottles of water for him. I let him listen to the Dafa music "Pudu" and "Jishi" on an MP3 player. I then gave him three truth-clarification CDs and several other materials and told him to let his family members watch. After he listened to "Pudu" and "Jishi" he said repeatedly, "It's so pleasant to hear." Then he started to read the materials. I said, "You may read them when you get home; there are too many people here." He said, "No, if I don't read this now, the train police might take them and I won't get the chance to read them." I reminded him to pay attention on the train, to be safe. Having seen a life awakened, I was too happy to express my joy. The young man gave me his family's home phone number before his departure.

A few days later I called him on the phone. He picked up the phone. He told me that all of his family members had read the materials and watched the CDs. Master thus made arrangements to let the sentient beings living in such a remote area know the truth.

From my experience, I can share that doing the three things well does not depend on the environment, and it does not have to follow some specific format. The key is how much effort one puts into it. As long as practitioners truly do it attentively, there will be opportunities to clarify the facts anywhere, at any moment.

Taking the train was a great opportunity to clarify the truth. Every time I took a train, as soon as I got to my seat, I would say hello to the people close by. This was the most convenient time for greeting. After the train started moving and everybody settled down, I would find a topic to chat about with people, based on their age and their area of interest. By talking I would find their favorite topics and continue the chat. My goal was very clear--to clarify the facts to people and to let people know the contents of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. I made sure my conversation came across as objective, without bias or aggression. It set up the foundation for me to further clarify the facts and the contents of the Nine Commentaries.

Because the train is one of the key places where the evildoers have persecuted practitioners the most, in general I would not directly expose myself as a practitioner. I just expressed my opinion about Falun Gong. This gave me flexibility when clarifying the facts. I could say more or say less, depending on each situation. It also avoided giving the old forces an opening to easily take advantage of me. Sometimes it's not proper to express things in too straightforward a manner. I would simply address some CCP history as exposed in the Nine Commentaries. That would set the basis for people to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations, and for them to learn the facts. Acting in this manner is not a matter of fear. It is setting one's mind on the Fa, being responsible for oneself and also being responsible for the Fa and all sentient beings. I read on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website that some practitioners experienced persecution for clarifying the facts. In those cases, the old forces took advantage of some irrational factors in them. Only when I had made sure the situation was appropriate did I directly urge someone to quit CCP and its affiliated organizations.

During a 2005 summer train trip, I chatted with a passenger. It turned out that we were from the same hometown and were also the same age. This made the conversation smooth. I asked him about his college major. He told me his major was literature. I also asked what type of job he did and he then started talking about his life since graduation 20 years ago. Especially during the past few years, finding a job was very difficult. He was writing some flattering biographic literature for some rich businessmen and/or some people in power. I took the opportunity and said, "Isn't Jiang (Zemin) also asking some foreigner to write his biography?" Hence, very naturally we turned to the subject of the truth. I started to tell him the facts exposed in the Nine Commentaries of the CCP's crimes against the whole nation, before and after 1949 when it took over the whole country. Since the passenger was a writer, it was natural to hold a deep discussion of these topics. He was very surprised, "How do you know so many things?" I said most of these were gleaned from the Nine Commentaries.

I took the opportunity to let him know about The Epoch Times and about how many people had quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations by then. I told him I used to be a CCP member, but I had already quit through The Epoch Times. I didn't tell him I was a Dafa practitioner. I asked him, "Did you join the Party?" He said he was a Party member and he also would like to quit. I said, "You can choose a nickname. I can help you quit." He said, "I don't need a nickname. Just use my real name to quit," and he told me his name and the place he lives. When I got home I immediately helped him with his announcement to quit the CCP.

Along with the gradual familiarity with the situation in this new city, I had more experience in clarifying the facts and dealing with truth clarification materials. Making use of the office to produce the truth-clarification materials wasn't a long-term solution. The dormitory I lived in was also not a fit venue. At the time I was worrying about the source of the materials. Master's arrangements led me to a connection with a local practitioner whom I had never met before. From that time on, we set up a materials production site at her home by using her existing computer and printer. This materials production site provided very convenient means to make the materials. I continued doing truth clarification and rescuing sentient beings in the new environment.

I have been doing this new job for more than two years now. Since I began, my income has increased, and I have had sufficient funds to make truth-clarification materials. Having a job also made it possible for me to go to more places to clarify the facts. I completely negated the old forces' persecution that blocked my efforts to rescue people. In the meantime, my living condition greatly improved. Rarely have the evildoers interfered with me for the past two years. I have also understood more and more of Master's teachings that practitioners should "cultivate while maximally conforming to the ordinary human society." Having become more diligent in the Fa, and more assimilated to the Fa, my path of validating the Fa and cultivation while rescuing sentient beings has become more and more smooth.