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Searching Inward for My Attachments When Losing Tranquility By a Falun Gong practitioner in China
(Clearwisdom.net) I have had a long-term problem. A fellow practitioner
has repeatedly asked me, "Are you able to enter tranquility when you
practice the sitting meditation?" This question was raised because I was
often distracted by my thoughts when I practiced the sitting meditation or sent
forth righteous thoughts. I struggled to fight off those interfering thoughts,
but the problem continued. The same fellow practitioner raised the subject at a later time. Through the
process of memorizing the Fa, I gradually realized that not being
able to enter tranquility when practicing the sitting meditation is not a simple
matter. I had been doing the three things, but did I cultivate
myself well in the process of doing the three things? Did I understand how to
cultivate myself? Similar to failing to enter tranquility while practicing the
sitting meditation, wasn't it another indication of the level of my gong
and realm? I had to admit that I was falling behind my fellow practitioners. As
a Falun Gong practitioner in the Fa-rectification period and as a veteran
cultivator of more than a decade, my cultivation level was still below par and I
failed to attain what the Fa required of me. How would I be able to do well in
validating the Fa? How would I be able to do well in saving sentient beings? For a long time, I had failed to enter tranquility when I practiced the
sitting meditation, sent forth righteous thoughts and even when I studied the Fa.
When interfering thoughts were meddling with my concentration, I knew that they
were not part of me, and I tried to eliminate them. However, it only worked for
a short while. I still could not stay in tranquility. I knew very well that I
had not elevated my cultivation level on the Fa. Lately I have been memorizing
the Fa and reading articles on "Minghui Weekly," which has
helped me purge attachments layer by layer and enabled me to experience deeply
Teacher's boundless compassion and the level of time and effort that Teacher
spends on His disciples. One day, a fellow practitioner told me about a Falun Gong practitioner who is
a village farmer. The farmer practitioner works long, hard hours in the field
every day. When she returns home, there are a lot of household chores to be
done. Nevertheless, she has been doing the three things well. When she sends
forth righteous thoughts at midnight, she is able to stay in tranquility and
feels so good that she almost does not want to stop sending forth righteous
thoughts. I was shocked by the farmer practitioner's story. I knew it was a hint
from Teacher. Once again, I knew I had been falling behind fellow practitioners.
Actually Teacher told us a long time ago: "If you want to improve yourself, you should search your inner self
and work hard on your heart" ("A Clear and Clean Mind" from
Lecture Nine of Zhuan Falun) If I do not work on my heart, and always search for an outside source to help
me improve, and if I always try to find superficial excuses to justify my
attachments, my cultivation will not improve. Such attempts will only reinforce
my attachments. After I heard the story about the farmer practitioner, I began
identifying every interfering thought as soon as it came up. I believe it is
crucial that I refuse to see the interfering thoughts as a part of me. I examine
the interfering thoughts and identify their causes. Is it about fame,
self-interest or sentimentality? They may appear to be millions of different
thoughts, but they are of merely three categories: Fame, self-interest and
sentimentality. When I see through these thoughts, I think to myself that the
purpose of their existence is to ruin my cultivation practice. I am a life
forged by the Fa. I don't want any of these thoughts. I shall eliminate these
bad matters attempting to interfere with my cultivation. When a powerful
righteous thought comes forward, these thoughts will disappear. I feel my righteous thoughts are becoming stronger and those meddling
thoughts are becoming weaker. In the process of identifying and eliminating
these thoughts, I realized that I could find almost all of their root causes. I
believe it is very important to identify their root causes so that I can pluck
them by their roots. In the past, I also tried to eliminate the meddling
thoughts, but I focused only on these thoughts and neglected their origins or
root causes. This must be the reason why I felt I could never finish eliminating
these meddling thoughts as their roots went deep. All these thoughts are truly
wild, wrong thoughts. Some come from my needs, wants and desires for a good life
and for those things I desire but cannot obtain. Teacher said, "I have said that to study the science of the human body one must
revolutionize one's thinking. To understand those supernormal things, one
cannot apply everyday people's deductive methods and their ways of
understanding things." ("Mind Intent" from Lecture Nine of Zhuan
Falun) This passage of the Fa made me realize that these wild thoughts germinated
from conventional thinking that I had adopted in everyday society. For any given
matter, I tend to think from various conventional perspectives. If I think from
the perspective of the Fa, everything becomes clear. It does not require so many
different conventional perspectives to understand a matter. Thus, I am now able to quickly identify and see through a wild or wrong
thought. I measure such thoughts according to the Fa and destroy them at their
roots. While rectifying my mind in this fashion, I am plucking these wild
thoughts by their roots. Sometimes wild thoughts come from worry and fear.
Sometimes they come from greed. While I work on one Dafa project, I greedily
think of another, wondering if it might bring more benefits than the Dafa
project at hand. Sometimes it becomes clear to me that such wild thoughts come
into being because I fail to have steadfast faith in Teacher and the Fa. Some
wild thoughts come into being because I still have attachments to many things in
life. The human society is still very real and tangible to me. At times like
this, I will think about a line in Zhuan Falun. Teacher said, "...every phenomenon in human society is illusory and unreal."
("The Issue of Celestial Eye" from Lecture Two of Zhuan Falun) If I don't work hard on my mind or work hard on studying the Fa, it will be
very difficult to realize that such thoughts are wrong and wild. Only when I am
able to discover these wild thoughts and identify their root causes will I be
able to pluck them out by their roots. Now that I am prevailing over these wild
thoughts, I look back and am amazed that I can actually conquer these seemingly
stubborn and ever-changing thoughts! I now have a deeper understanding of a
passage of the Fa. Teacher said, "As long as you upgrade your xinxing, you can overcome them. Unless
you, yourself do not want to do so, you can make it, provided you want to
overcome them." ("Transformation of Karma" in Lecture Four of Zhuan
Falun) When I am determined to purge those wild thoughts, Teacher will remove these
thoughts that are as stubborn as giant rocks for me. During this process of weeding out wild thoughts, I find memorizing the Fa to
be very beneficial. I truly feel my thoughts are becoming purer and cleaner. I
can finally enter and stay in tranquility when I practice the sitting
meditation. When I feel I am assimilating to the Fa and elevating my level of
cultivation, I feel very solid in my heart. I now have a better understanding
how a cultivator should treasure this once-in-eternity opportunity of
cultivation. According to my understanding, a good number of practitioners also have the
problem of failing to enter tranquility when practicing the sitting meditation.
I have learned from my past experiences that this is not just a simple problem
on the surface. The root causes are various kinds of attachments and human
thoughts. This is not a problem we can afford to neglect because it will
severely compromise the quality of the three things that we need to do. In
addition, failing to enter tranquility will also interfere with many different
Dafa projects. For a few times when a fellow practitioner and I were
distributing truth-clarification materials, I ran into trouble because of wild,
wrong thoughts. Because my energy field was not pure, I had almost jeopardized
that fellow practitioner's safety. Lately I have been joining the morning exercise practice initiated by Minghui
Radio. When I practice the sitting meditation and hear Teacher giving us the
instruction to "Shen Du Ru Ding" [or "Stay in Ding" (tranquil
yet conscious state of mind)], I am often shocked. I have a refreshed
feeling about this command. In the current Fa-rectification period, we are
required to do well in saving sentient beings. To be responsible for ourselves
and to fulfill our historic mission, we must pay more attention to our own
cultivation practice. We must study the Fa more and conduct ourselves according
to the Fa in order to elevate ourselves step by step in the Fa. This concludes my personal understanding. Please kindly point out anything
erroneous. Posting date: 6/11/2007
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