By a practitioner from Hengyang, Hunan Province

(Clearwisdom.net)

It was the second half of 1996. It was chilly. I saw people practicing Falun Gong in a meeting hall at school. I was curious and wanted to know about Falun Gong. My wife borrowed the book Zhuan Falun. We both read it eagerly and were able to finish it quickly. It was the middle of the night when I was done reading the book. I was chilled and could not move, but paid not too much attention to it. The only thing I had on my mind was "I want to learn and practice." Since then I have slowly but surely cultivated the Fa. I bought copies of Zhuan Falun, Zhuan Falun Vol. II, and Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa. After I read them several times I felt great.

However, my attachments interfered with this placidity. Every morning when I was done practicing, it was time for the students to arrive. I always headed to the students with my cushion under my arm. I felt embarrassed and thought, "I wish I did not have to carry the cushion with me." Eventually I used different excuses and no longer to participate at the practice site. I got the exercise music tape and practiced at home. A warm blanket, a comfortable home--everything seemed much better at home than going out. Gradually, I was not as diligent as before. Sometimes I practiced, sometimes not.

When one of Master's new lectures was published, I read:

"There are also many new Dafa practitioners who are secretly practicing at home, fearing the embarrassment of others finding out. Think about it: What kind of thought is this? An ordinary fear is an attachment that needs to be eliminated through cultivation practice. Yet you are afraid of others finding out that you're learning Dafa? Cultivation practice is a very serious matter. How should you regard yourself and the Fa?" ("Environment" in Essentials for Further Advancement)

Wasn't this referring to me? I immediately decided to go back to the practice site.

One day during lunch hour I was sitting around and picked up Master's lecture and read:

"Actually, in cultivation practice you ascend by improving yourself gradually and unknowingly. Keep in mind: One should gain things naturally without pursuing them." ("Learning the Fa" in Essentials for Further Advancement)

Yes! One should gain things naturally without pursuing them. I felt energy filling my heart, opening the door to my mind. It [the lecture] has a deep connotation. It felt so great! Master was giving me hints.

More and more practitioners were coming to the practice site. I was asked to be an assistant. It was during the time of the Assistants' Fa Conference in Changsha City. The practitioners at my practice site provided me the opportunity to attend the conference. It was already evening when I got to Changsha City. Because too many practitioners were arriving, the reserved hotel could not accommodate that many people. We had to find another hotel. The practitioners responsible for coordinating the conference were so busy that they did not stop working until midnight. I was moved by their diligence and sincerity. The following day during the conference at the College of Commerce everything was in great order. Practitioners ate lunch in the college dining hall. The conference organizers had reserved box lunches on the second floor, but many practitioners did not know that and ate on the first floor. Consequently, more than 300 box lunches were left. Practitioners from Changsha ate the leftovers for dinner. They saved the fresh food for us. I was deeply touched. How could they think of others? How could they do it without any complaints? Compared to them I was far behind. Master said:

"The lofty conduct that Dafa disciples have established in this environment--including every word and every deed--can make people recognize their own weaknesses and identify their shortcomings; it can move their hearts, refine their conduct, and enable them to make progress more rapidly." ("Environment" in Essentials for Further Advancement)

Following that it was group study, assistance in practicing exercises, group discussions, purchasing materials, and many other things. After three days I was a completely different person. I experienced huge changes. The feeling was just as Master said:

"Upon walking outside this auditorium, many of you will feel like different people, and your outlook will be guaranteed to change. You will know how to conduct yourselves in the future, and you will no longer be so befuddled. It is guaranteed to be this way." (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun, 2000 translation version)

I had already gained so much from attending one Fa conference. It would have been greater if I could attend Master's lecture seminars! Every time I read practitioners' articles "The Days with Master" I always admired greatly the opportunities those practitioners had. Practitioners had given me such a great opportunity--was I not stepping on practitioners' shoulders to climb up? I started paying attention to this group and naturally returned to the group and have done Dafa things in this area.

A certain practitioner had a xinxing issue. He went to temples to pursue something else, which made troubles for him. I was asked to pay him a visit. After a brief discussion of his issues we started studying Master's lectures. When we were reading "Spirit or Animal Possession" in Zhuan Falun, I felt energy being emitted from the top to the bottom of my body. I did not know what was going on, but I had no fear. When I returned home I started feeling a little fear. When I practiced the fifth exercise at night I was afraid to close my eyes. I was very afraid, but I could not tell anybody. What should I do? After I was done practicing the fifth exercise with my eyes open for 45 minutes I did not want to eat dinner I was so disturbed. But I knew I needed to find an answer from the Fa. Although my mind was not calm, I still opened Zhuan Falun to try to read it. Master said:

"It has been said: 'When I come to this ordinary human society, it's just like checking into a hotel for a few days. Then I leave in a hurry.' Some people are just obsessed with this place and have forgotten their own homes." (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)

I was not afraid any more. The knot had been untied. Right at that moment I could feel a strong energy field. I could not explain the deep and profound realization. It could only be sensed. I realized: if one is not afraid of death, there is nothing else that could make one afraid. In fact, Master is right by our side, protecting the disciples. How much effort it requires! I also realize now that the energy stream I felt then was Master giving me guanding [pouring energy into the top of one's head] and strengthening me.

After experiencing all these things I realized that everything Master said is true. There truly are Gods! I, who used to be a complete atheist, gradually changed my notions. I believe in Master and believe in Dafa. The ignorance I had once ascribed to because of the CCP propaganda, brainwashing, and its culture made me ashamed. I felt so fortunate to have obtained Dafa. Master's hints and protection moved me. I often cry when I am by myself. I still feel I have not done well enough and need to do more and be more diligent.

I do not remember the day I no longer considered this an ordinary exercise or a way to improve health. I truly understand now that Falun Dafa is a cultivation practice. Zhuan Falun can guide our cultivation. If we treat the Fa as our teacher we will be able to walk righteously on our cultivation path. Therefore, at the practice site we studied the Fa diligently and read the books again and again. We recited Zhuan Falun, Master's lectures, studied and cultivated, and formed a compassionate and peaceful environment. When we did the fifth exercise and were completely calm and had entered into tranquility we could clearly hear the sound of each little bell in the exercise music. It was wonderful! But that all happened before July 1999.

Unfortunately, Jiang's regime has slandered, persecuted, framed and fabricated things against this grand Fa. The persecution of Dafa began on July 20, 1999. Dafa practitioners have since faced great tribulations. All of a sudden it became a dark, gloomy, terror-stricken world. The pressure was so intense. It was so difficult to breathe. We did not know what to do. In fact, Master already said in the Fa,

"It is under the circumstance of demonic interference that you can demonstrate whether you can continue your cultivation, be really enlightened to the Tao, be unaffected by interference, and be sure-footed in this school of practice. The great waves shift the sand, and that is what cultivation practice is all about. What is left in the end will be genuine gold." (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)

But in reality, when my own mind and self-interest were affected I did not know what to do any more. For a long time I could not sit still. I could not remain calm. After a while I gradually understood what to do: there is nothing wrong with practicing Falun Dafa!

At the end of 2000 I finally stood on Tiananmen Square and shouted, "Falun Dafa is good!" I opened my banner that read: "Falun Dafa is the righteous Fa!" Just with that one shout I was no longer afraid of anything. With that one shout everything became so calm.

I was taken back to my hometown and held in a detention center. It was a hell in the human world. To "reform" practitioners those in charge even put poisonous drugs in practitioners' food. The guards and prison heads colluded and made us to do slave labor, installing plugs. Other inmates said, "I would rather carry feces and do other heavy-duty work than installing plugs." It hurts your hands badly. You had to maintain one posture for a long time--over 12 hours per day. There were always people watch. You were beaten easily. The new people, if they tried hard, could install a thousand plugs. But imagine that your assignment is five thousand plugs. So you can imagine that the result was that we were beaten and otherwise punished. We had to work overtime, until the next morning.

They even encouraged my family to try to "reform" me. Our whole family practiced Dafa. Why all of a sudden were they coming to reform me? It had been only a few days. How did this happen? I felt nauseous and dizzy. I leaned on the cell wall and suffered mentally. I would rather die if they ordered me to give up Dafa! I did not know when I went to sleep. When I woke up it was bright daytime. The earth was still turning on its axis. I was still me. I was not interfered with by anything. I would walk the path Master had arranged.

The moment I had righteous thoughts, everything went on the right track. I thought: my family might have been manipulated and forced. They must have their own difficulties. The pressure they had to endure was huge. When I imagined myself in others' shoes I recited:

"A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion. With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy." ("Realms" in Essentials for Further Advancement)

I understood the deep connotation.

The officials continued to persecute me. They sent me to the Changsha Xinkaipu Forced Labor Camp. In the labor camp, the windows are metal, as are the doors and handcuffs, and there are electric wires on the tops of the tall walls, and a high tower. Everything pressured me so much after going through the hardships in the detention center.

The guards were cruel. It was a prison within a prison. Being in the labor camp already means losing one's freedom. They assigned three monitors who followed me when I was brushing my teeth, eating, or going to the restroom. When I walked, one person went in front of me and another person behind me. When I was sleeping, they sat right next to my bed. It was as if demons had entangled me. It was so bothersome. They refused to let me read books or practice the exercises. They didn't let me speak with others. They also recorded everything I did and said every day. My environment was like this: exposure to videos slandering Dafa, rumors, and noisy broadcasts. There were no friendly faces. There were endless conversations with the guards. They kept threatening, intimidating, and deceiving me. They also ordered people who had gone astray to try to "reform" me.

I was tortured to the point of paralysis. I could not raise my hands. But my mind was very clear. I could not roll over when I slept. If others pulled me up and let go I fell right back. My head would heavily bang on the wall.

When I needed to use the restroom at night the monitors had to carry me on their backs. When I needed to urinate, the monitors had to stand by me to hold me up. But I could not do it like that. I asked them to walk away and gave me a stool. I sat down and tried to relax and let the urine dribble out, even though it took over 20 minutes. At that time, my mind was blank but clear. It was a true test. I thought, "I am a Dafa practitioner." Now that I recall it, my mental state then was very dangerous. Whether I could pass the test or not just depended on a single thought. If one of my thoughts was not righteous then, I might have been hospitalized right away. I was struggling on the brink of death. I might have died at any time then. I was determined to maintain my righteous thoughts and choose Dafa. It was Master who saved me. The next day I felt better. I could even sit up for a while, holding onto the bed. Gradually I was able to take care of myself.

Fellow practitioners sent in Master's new lecture:

"Cultivation is hard. It's hard in that even when a terrible calamity strikes, even when evil madly persecutes, and even when your life is at stake, you still have to be able to steadfastly continue on your path of cultivation without letting anything in human society interfere with the steps you take on your path of cultivation." ("Path" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)

I was saying in my heart, "Master, I will continue to follow you." My tears kept falling. I continued to recite:

"The trials that a cultivator goes through are something an everyday person could not endure. That is why throughout history so few people have been able to succeed in cultivation and reach Consummation. Human beings are just human beings. At critical moments it is hard for them to let go of their human notions, but they always try to find excuses to convince themselves. A magnificent cultivator, on the other hand, is able to let go of his Self and even all of his ordinary human thoughts amidst crucial trials." ("Position" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)

The Fa principles became clearer to me.

I recited the Fa whenever I had time. I recited as much as I could. I tried to remember and recite Zhuan Falun, Essentials for Further Advancement, Hong Yin and new lectures,

"When I practiced cultivation in the past, many great masters told me these words, and they said: 'When it's difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it's impossible to do, you can do it.' In fact, that is how it is. Why don't you give it a try when you return home. When you are overcoming a real hardship or tribulation, you try it. When it is difficult to endure, try to endure it. When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible. If you can actually do it, you will indeed find: 'After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!'" (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)

"To consummate yourself, reaping Buddhahood,
Let joy be found in hardship.
Physical pains count little as suffering,
Indeed, cultivating mind is hardest.
Each and every barrier must be broken through,
And everywhere does evil lurk.
Abundant troubles rain down together,
All to see: Can you pull through?
The world's miseries endured,
One departs the earth a Buddha." ("Tempering the Will" Hong Yin)

The more I recited, the more clear-minded I became. I had the profound realization that the more difficult the situation is, the more it reflects the mighty power of Dafa. That environment, that situation, reciting the books, reciting the Fa, every word went into my heart. Every sentence had its effect. My xinxing rose. I started clarifying the truth to the monitors and guards.

As I write this, I thought of something that had not occurred to me at that time When I was in the Xinkaipu Forced Labor Camp, almost all practitioners had different illness symptoms. Some were paralyzed. Some had fever, and their arms and legs hurt. They had to use fans in the winter. It was as if something was spreading to their arms and legs. They could not sleep normally. Their eyesight severely deteriorated. They drooled. The evildoers said the symptoms mimicked a lack of potassium. However, the inmates who lived and ate with us had no problems. How could this be possible? What truly happened there? Once a fellow practitioner saw the monitor put something in his food. He ran over to so what it was and the monitor was exceedingly nervous. After the guards heard about that incident, they immediately transferred that monitor somewhere else. No one knows where. What did they do that caused these symptoms?

The evil is truly evil. But I have Master and I have the Fa. With my firm belief in the Fa and Master I walked out of the dark den with dignity.

Assimilating into the one body again, I started to study the Fa more diligently, adjusted my cultivation state, and did what I am supposed to do. Master meant for me to make truth clarification materials. This is a serious task. Initially I was nervous. But step by step I became proficient in different areas. Fellow practitioners wanted to produce copies of Zhuan Falun. We had never printed books before. We did not even know basic bookbinding techniques. We lacked sufficient confidence to start printing this serious book. .

Right then, Master's Hong Yin II was published. We decided to print Hong Yin II first. With Master's hints and strengthening and fellow practitioners' effort, we successfully printed 300 copies. They looked nice, too. After we became more proficient in different techniques, our confidence increased and we started preparations to print Zhuan Falun--paper, wax paper, printing ink. Everything was ready. We started printing. Once we turned on the machine the printer seemed happy, too, and printed page after page. Just like that, everything went smoothly. We made 300 books. During the entire process we did not waste one plate or one piece of paper. Looking back, it was like a miracle we did not realize at the time. Our minds were pure. Everyone tried their best. Master saw we were a pure one-body and helped us. Master gave us hints and encouraged us. As long as our minds were pure and righteous, Master was happy and helped us.

When we had completed the print portion of the book we collated the pages. We found one page extra, so one book was a missing page. Which one was it? There were so many. I randomly picked one. It just happened to be that one. We were so excited. We all realized that Master was helping us!

As I study the Fa more, I gradually understand that everything has life. The computer, printer and copier all have lives. I often told them that it was their blessing to do things to spread Dafa. It's also their chance to position themselves well. I asked them to cooperate. They truly listened. But when my mind was not pure enough they did not seem to cooperate. I could also find my own shortcomings from their reaction. Certainly, sometimes it was due to evil interference. Then I sent forth righteous thoughts and eliminated the evil.

I understand the Fa principles more. "To cultivate while conforming to everyday people's society to the maximum extent" ("Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia") I applied it to reality. During the entire process of making materials I tried my best to follow this Fa principle. I did the projects steadfastly. If we do not conform to everyday people's society, no matter how we try to hide it, the results might end up even worse. We are cultivators. Only when we raise our xinxing will we be able to accomplish things. When our mindset and xinxing reach a certain level, everything will automatically become better.

When I was in contact with fellow practitioners I often heard others express their admiration for the practitioners who make materials. Sometimes people asked me whether I made materials. I often simply smiled. Actually, practitioners who make materials also admire practitioners who clarify the truth to sentient beings and exhort people to quit the CCP every day. They have to let go of so many attachments. Their minds have to be so pure in order to do the job well! So we are all Master's disciples. We are all supposed to view the Fa as teacher and do well what we are supposed to do.

After a while my attachments resurfaced. The evil in other dimension saw them clearly and tried to take advantage of me and persecute me. The reflection here was the arrest of a fellow practitioner who revealed that I gave him the materials. I was then arrested as well. It was a sudden strike of bad luck. They took away everything I had with me. I was anxious for a while and was nervous about them finding any evidence. In fact, everything was up to Master. Our own matters were up to ourselves. We should not cooperate with the evil in any situation but keep to our righteous thoughts.

After illegal incarceration in the detention center for several days, the authorities interrogated me and gave me hints, "You can look for a lawyer." I thought this to be quite funny. "I can find my own lawyer?" "Sure." They pretended! Thinking to give it a try I sent the message to my family. Fellow practitioners sent forth righteous thoughts and distributed truth clarification materials for my rescue. The practitioners were initially taking righteous actions backed by righteous thoughts. However, because of my one thought, my whole family started working on it. They paid lots of money, treating and bribing the guards. It was as if we had done something wrong. This incident adversely impacted my whole family. My family was hurt. It also blemished Dafa.

After my family had generously treated the guards, they ordered someone to write a fake guarantee statement. As long as I signed it I would be released. I had a strong desire to get out of there. Without thinking clearly I actually signed it. What a huge mistake I made! My relatives even tried to assure me that within three days I would be let go. But three and four days passed and nothing happened. I knew something was wrong. The evil took advantage of me. I was deeply disappointed. Later on a so-called "special case group" arrived. They interrogated me and handcuffed and shackled me. They wouldn't let me sleep. More than ten guards took turns torturing me, but they did not get anything from me. I was mentally tormented, too, and was miserable. I was not able to reach the level "by having your heart unaffected, you will be able to handle all situations." I felt horrible for what I did. Master, I am so sorry! Where did my righteous thoughts go? I almost collapsed. I thought of Master and asked Master to strengthen me. Our benevolent Master did not blame me and has always been protecting me. Right then, during the daytime, the guards were all sleeping. Master gave me hints for me to find the keys. I opened the handcuffs and shackles and ran out of the door, went downstairs, and ran out of the gate. I was able to successfully escape.

I knelt before Master's photo with remorse, gratitude, and tears. I still could not fall asleep, even though I had not slept for two days. I could not calm myself for a long time. I could not figure out what my issues were, which made me even more anxious. I could not calmly study the Fa. It was so dangerous.

Now I have gradually come to understand:

"No matter what the situation, do not cooperate with the evil's demands, orders, or what it instigates." ("Dafa Disciples' Righteous Thoughts are Powerful")

"Unless you, yourself do not want to do so, you can make it, provided you want to overcome them." (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

I chose to leave home to avoid further persecution. I received help and support from fellow practitioners. After a while, when things calmed down a little, I got a message from someone in my hometown. Somebody said the books we made did not meet certain requirements. That version could not be found on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website, so it was disrupting the Fa. They asked everyone to burn this book as soon as possible. When I was arrested, fellow practitioners helped me figure out my problems. For a long time they focused on this issue. But all our materials came from Minghui. Which true Dafa practitioner dares to change anything? So I could not let it go. I asked for help from Minghui. Fellow practitioners from Minghui responded quickly. But because I had not looked inward, the issue was still not solved.

"In genuine cultivation practice one must cultivate one's own heart and inner self. One should search inside oneself rather than outside." (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)

When I truly searched inside myself, I found that I had a strong attachment to criticism from others. I would get irritated right away when someone tried to point out my flaws that need improvement. I was not compassionate enough and could not explain things with compassion. When I finally found my own issues, looking back, I realized that the materials I had made during that time were not good quality. They had not met the requirements at all. Now my mind has become much calmer.

I have continued to recite Zhuan Falun, which helps me understand the Fa principles more deeply and broadly and helps me compare my actions and thoughts with the Fa's requirements. As I was reciting the following paragraph I felt it referred to me:

"Let me give you a specific example. In the workplace, a person may feel that others are not as capable as he. Whatever he does, he does it well. He finds himself indeed remarkable. He thinks to himself: 'I'm qualified to be a factory director or manager, or even a higher position. I think that I could even be Prime Minister.'" (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)

I always have this mindset. I always think about things like that. At its root, my loophole turns out to be jealousy. Some problems arose from this attachment.

The fellow practitioner who was responsible for coordination was older. He was not good at making speeches or writing. Fellow practitioners and I unintentionally talked about him grudgingly. Then I recited this paragraph of Fa:

"Let me tell a story. In the book Investiture of the Gods, Shen Gongbao found Jiang Ziya to be both old and incompetent. But the Primitive God of Heaven asked Jiang Ziya to confer titles on immortals. Shen Gongbao felt in his heart that it was unfair: 'Why is he asked to confer titles on immortals? You see how capable I am. After my head is cut off, I can put it back on my shoulders. Why wasn't I asked to confer titles on immortals?' He was so jealous that he always caused troubles for Jiang Ziya." (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)

Although you think they are old and not capable enough, Master does not view it like that. In fact, the practitioner did a good job coordinating. The problem was that I did not have the right mindset. I was simply jealous! Although I did not rock the boat, I did not actually do the work proactively and did not try my best to cooperate. Wasn't that dangerous? I understand this now and have eliminated the attachment and will do well in the future.

I had the profound realization that cultivation is extremely serious; more serious than anything in the world. We have to cultivate solidly. We should view the Fa as our teacher and eliminate any interference. We should look inward when facing issues. Only when we do that will we be able to advance and solve problems. I truly understand the meaning of "False teachings from 10,000 scrolls, one true teaching from one sentence." This one true teaching is, "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master." (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun) Dafa and Master provide everything.

Master asks us to do well the three things and to catch up with the advancement of Fa-rectification in all aspects. What I have shared here is only from a certain perspective and is limited to my own understanding. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.

Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2007/6/6/156289.html