(Clearwisdom.net) Stumbling from time to time during my cultivation and
validation of the Fa over the past few years, I have been able to
come through to today, and it was all because of Master's careful protection at
every moment. As I did not do very well, a lot of effort from Master was needed.
So, I'm willing to write down some of my experiences and understandings during
my path of cultivation in the Fa-Rectification process.
From the experiences shared on Minghui/Clearwisdom website and those of local
practitioners, I knew that the practitioners who are involved in coordination
are prone to developing the attachment to doing things. This attachment is very
damaging, so I often reminded myself to be cautious about it. However, I was not
able to focus on solid cultivation; I became busier and busier. While studying
the Fa or sending forth righteous thoughts, my mind was not pure and I was
thinking about doing things. Actually this state already reflects a poor status
for a practitioner. Sometimes I have become an ordinary person doing Dafa work,
seeking out solutions with ordinary thoughts rather than measuring myself
against the Fa. Accordingly when something was accomplished, I unconsciously
validated myself to show off how capable I was, and I thus put aside Master and
Dafa. This is already a big deviation from the Fa requiring rectification.
My attachment to fame was also strengthened during the process of
coordination. I praised myself upon receiving appreciation. In the end I could
not correctly position myself, and I rarely looked inside. Master said,
"Fame is a great obstacle to reaching Consummation." ("Dafa Will
Forever be Pure Like Diamond," Essentials for Further Advancement)
My attachment to fame made my mind more and more unclear, and as a result, I
endured unnecessary bodily symptoms.
Fellow practitioners, please make sure not to make yourself too busy. We need
to adjust our attitudes and keep pace with the Fa-Rectification. Otherwise,
however much we do, if we do not cultivate ourselves, it becomes easy for us to
stumble.
During my cultivation I had been a bit slack on the attachment to lust. Once
I went to see a practitioner that I liked a little bit, so I wanted to be
dressed up. At the moment I was putting my pants on, I felt something enter into
my lower back and it felt a little bit painful. Though I thought at that moment,
"Is it possible it was caused by my unrighteous thoughts?" I did not
deny it and let it pass. Later on my lower back was painful for quite a while,
and during that period an open sore appeared at the upper end of my left leg.
When the pus came out, several small holes were left and it discharged pus for
over a year. However I did not regard the attachment to lust as the cause of
these symptoms.
In August 2006, another sore appeared at the upper end of my right leg and it
became bigger and bigger. This was just at the time when the child of my brother
was to have a wedding ceremony. I thought would it cause a negative image for
Dafa if this sore would be seen by my relatives and friends on the wedding day.
But on the day before the wedding, I was very determined that I must go, and I
was sure that Master would assist me to save people. After this thought was made
firmly, all the pus disappeared that night. Later during the wedding ceremony, I
helped more than ten people to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party. I knew
that it was Master who was helping me after my righteous thoughts were
strengthened. Master understands a practitioner's willingness to do well. This
made me understand again that during tribulations, as long as we believe in
Master and the Fa firmly, there is no tribulation that we cannot pass.
I deeply looked within, and realized that I did not form the habit of
disciplining myself on every single thought, and when the evil thought came to
me, I did not negate it. Because I allowed my attachment to grow, I was
persecuted most seriously, even to the point of not being able to stand up. I
thus could not do the three things well. Cultivation is so serious;
I could not believe that the evil had taken such a big advantage of my loophole
to the attachment of lust. In this last stage of Fa-Rectification, we must catch
every single thought and eliminate every attachment. Actually what the deities
cultivate is just a single thought. We are beings heading toward the realms of
deities, and we should be incomparably holy. How could we allow evil thoughts
get into our minds or make trouble?
June 6, 2007
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