By a Falun Dafa disciple from Taiwan

(Clearwisdom.net) When I joined the online truth clarification group, I asked a technician to help me fix my computer. One hour before the technician returned it, I had a bad stomach ache and I wanted to vomit. When the technician asked me if I was alright, I told her that I was OK and we should have righteous thoughts. The interference came again when I did the group exercises a few days later. I sent forth righteous thoughts and then felt better. I knew that it was interference to my truth clarification.

Later I encountered many challenges. I did not know how to use the mouse, or how to send and receive emails. Every time there was an update for a program, it needed to be upgraded and files had to be extracted; I made a total mess of the desktop and then had to ask for help. I felt I was too troublesome to my fellow practitioners and the technicians, and I was so embarrassed. I wondered why I was so stupid and nervous when learning how to use the computer. My life was in disorder and I was afraid I would end up breaking my computer if I tried to use it.

Later I settled down and reminded myself that I am a Dafa disciple and I am not stupid. I must be stuck somewhere. I had learned to use the computer with other practitioners. The programs we participated in were not necessarily the same, so we learned one thing for a while and then learned another thing. Although I took notes, I got them confused. I could not grasp it and felt very upset. I wished some practitioner could sit beside me and teach me, so whenever I had questions he could show me at once. But this was impossible. Fa-rectification progresses so fast, and each practitioner's time is precious; everyone is doing truth clarification and I could not take so much of their time. I told myself to make an effort to learn, and to do it myself, only asking others when I had questions. Now I never feel afraid. Fear is also an attachment.

I really wanted to do online truth clarification, but I had other things to do, and I put it off. I always felt that many, many sentient beings were waiting for me to save them, but the things I had been doing were so trivial. How could I let so many trivial things interfere with my truth clarification? My husband told me that if I did not do the house work well, I was not cultivating. My child also told me if I only signed the papers, and didn't really check the homework, I was not cultivating. How could I have done poorly in so many ways? I vowed I would do well cultivating.

I haven't gone to the practice site for a long time, and it seemed I no longer belonged to it. I often felt upset about this. For a long time, I went to bed after two o'clock in the morning, and could not get up at 4:15 to do the morning exercises. I thought, maybe I should go to sleep a little earlier? But if I still had energy, why should I go to bed early? I could use the time to study the Fa, or do truth clarification, or check my email. I only go to bed if I am really very sleepy, and, as my husband noted, the quality of my sleep is good.

However, I could not get up for the morning exercises. When the alarm rang, I turned it off and continued to sleep. When I woke up and asked my husband who turned it off, he told me I had turned it off every time. After that, I put the alarm in the living room, but then I could not hear it. So, while it did not wake me up, my husband heard it every time and angrily got up to turn off the alarm. My child asked me if we were annoying our neighbors because our alarm was so loud. I felt really sorry.

I am determined to go the morning exercise site every day on time from now on, and require myself to do the three things as Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period, and not fail to treasure Master's merciful salvation.

Posting date: 6/6/2007
Original article date: 6/6/2007
Category: Practitioners' Insights
Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2007/5/22/155279.html

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