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Letting Go of Fundamental Attachments and Walking Well the Final Steps on the Path of Cultivation
(Clearwisdom.net) While growing up, I saw that my parents did not get
along well with each other and often quarreled. This left a deep impression in
my mind. I thought that when I grew up, I would definitely find and marry a
person who truly loved me. My first marriage failed. Afterwards, I thought about becoming a nun. I also
encountered problems in my second marriage, and again I thought about becoming a
nun. In the first lunar calendar month of 1995, I was fortunate to learn Falun
Dafa. Since then, I have embarked on the path of cultivation. After Master's article "Towards Consummation" (Essentials for
Further Advancement II) was published, I started to search within myself. I
didn't think I had the kinds of fundamental attachments that Master pointed out
in the article, but later, I was illegally arrested. During the
tribulations, I tried to identify my attachments, and I found that my biggest
attachments were still fear and selfishness. The second time I married was in 1993. At that time, my criterion for
marriage was simply love. However, after the initial phase of passionate love
was over, when my family life got into a routine, everything changed. It
appeared that my husband did not have me in mind at all. He no longer seemed to
care about me, and he even stopped coming home. I was stunned. I did not know
why he had changed so quickly. Was the love between a man and woman so
hypocritical and unreliable? Feeling sad, I again thought about becoming a nun.
I only came to understand the karmic relationship between a husband and wife
after I started my cultivation. Since all has been arranged based on karmic
relationships, was there anything that I could not endure? I thought, "So
go ahead and pay back the karma," but it was easier said than done. During
the actual tribulations, I did not act as I expected I would. Before I started
my cultivation, I had taken "love" as the real meaning of life and as
part of my true self, and I seemed to live for the sake of sentimentality. After
I began cultivation, I learned that everything encountered during cultivation
does not happen by accident, and is for the elimination of attachments and
karma. Even though I clearly knew that they were the tribulations that I had to
go through during my cultivation, I just did not want to pass them, or I passed
them sloppily. This was especially true when I passed the tribulation of
sentimentality. Every time I failed to pass the tribulation, I forced myself to
endure the wrongs. I told myself that I am a Dafa practitioner, and that I was
not the same as he. However, I still could not eliminate this attachment. During
my cultivation of over 10 years, I have not let go of my attachment of
sentimentality. Our cultivation has reached the final stage, and I still have not found my
fundamental attachment. The evil tried even harder to aggravate my attachments
and then take this as an excuse to persecute me. Especially over the last year,
my husband has behaved even more rudely and unreasonably. He swore at me and
showed no traces of human nature. Because I had not let go of my attachment to
sentimentality, I had completely resorted to the human-world principles to treat
all of these episodes. I felt even more sad and wronged, and I even thought
about getting divorced. I had completely taken myself as an ordinary person. The
stronger my human sentimentality became and the stronger my attachment to it,
the worse my husband behaved. He even started to hurt family members on my
parents' side. The family atmosphere had become very tense, and I was unable to
study the Fa calmly for nearly two weeks. All I could think about
was how my husband had hurt and bullied me. The more I thought this way, the
more attached I became. I knew that I had to calm myself down and think about the root cause of my
problems. I studied the article "Towards Consummation" again and
again. Was the article talking about my problems? I have tried hard to pursue
ordinary people's love and a happy life with love. Is this a fundamental
attachment? I initially walked into Dafa because I understood from the Fa, the
karmic relationships in generations. Moreover, I wanted to get away from the
suffering that my failed love had brought me. That is, I was "...continuing
on the path because of those human attachments." ("Towards
Consummation") So, basically, I studied the Fa and cultivated myself for
the sake of leading a happy life in ordinary society. Therefore, during my 10
years of cultivation, I tightly held onto sentimentality and love without
letting go. In looking at the sentimentality, I was reluctant to face it and let
go. It was just as Master has said, "...you don't let go of those filthy things that you cling to in this
filthy world, and you even agonize over the most trivial losses."
("True Cultivation" from Essentials for Further Advancement) This was because I had not found my fundamental attachments, and I had not
found the fundamental causes. The many false manifestations generated from this
have deceived me, and I was almost totally lost. During the last phase of Fa-Rectification cultivation practice, all the
practitioners who are still persecuted in various ways should really calm down
and find their fundamental attachments, because this is the biggest excuse that
the old forces have used to persecute us. Because of my limited level, please point out any incorrect understandings. July 27, 2007 |