Cultivation Experiences While Doing Minghui Website Work
By a practitioner in North America
(Clearwisdom.net) Ten years of cultivation have passed in a flash. I
was very excited when I first obtained the Fa in 1997. When I enlightened to the
profound Fa-principles, I could not help but smile, and when I first sat in full
lotus position, my legs were in extreme pain, but after the pain subsided, I
felt a cool sensation in my legs. I was very nervous on July 20, 1999, when the
persecution started, but now I steadily do the three things. I
gradually understood that the process of our cultivation is a reincarnation
process of leaving humanness behind. 1. The Beginning I did not know exactly what we were doing when I joined the Minghui website
team. I only knew it was very important. The first time I was on duty, Master
published a new article, and I knew we had to post it as soon as possible. I did
my job quickly and checked it many times, but I didn't dare to post it. I was so
nervous. It was not until the editor-in-chief called me, that I uploaded it. At the beginning, my workload was not heavy. The situation in China was very
complicated, and various news articles needed to be posted immediately. In order
not to delay anything, I organized a sheet in front of my computer table,
changed my e-mail arrival signal so it was as loud as an alarm clock, then slept
right there while waiting. At that time, I realized that mainland China fellow
practitioners were in very difficult and dangerous environments, but they were
still validating the Fa. So I was happy to be able to help mainland
practitioners a little bit. 2. Eliminating Attachments I was not very disciplined before I became a cultivator. Fellow practitioners
in my group were all very detailed and responsible and I was deeply impressed.
The difference between us helped me to learn that we must do things carefully in
order to do Dafa work well. Although I improved mentally, my careless habits still caused me to make many
mistakes. I tried to be more careful, but at the same time, my attachment of
being afraid of making mistakes increased. When mistakes were found in an
article and it was not my fault, I would sigh in relief. If the mistake was my
fault, I felt devastated. I hoped that I had not caused too much damage, and
meanwhile felt helpless since I was such a careless person. I had not detected
my strong attachment to guarding my reputation. Since cultivation is about upgrading oneself and validating Dafa, it is
important that cultivators genuinely cultivate themselves. Master is very kind
to me, as he did not let me skip this lesson even when I was being extremely
careful. After making mistakes repeatedly, I had to calm down and look inward. I
needed to discover why I was so crestfallen when others pointed out my mistakes. Why was I alright when others made mistakes but very nervous when I made a
mistake? This feeling was not generated because of interference, but it was due
to the fact that I was afraid my reputation would be harmed. When I recall my
personal path, I always thought I did most tasks very easily and was always
proud of my capabilities. This notion used to be very strong. I was able to attend a key high school after attending an average junior high
school. I felt very stressed and had a difficult time competing with a group of
exceptional students. Later, I had to skip one year because I had an accident
and endured much pain before returning to school. After that, it was suddenly
very easy for me to be on the honor roll. Studying Falun Dafa helped me
understand the reason why I did so well at that time. It was because I had paid
back much of my karmic debt during the recovery period, therefore my studies
became easier. Even my brain was functioning better. Falun Dafa disciples can
excel anywhere, as our abilities have all been bestowed by Master or prepared
for us in previous lives and earlier ages. It is not because disciples are so
capable on their own. Master said, "When we determine whether a person is cultivating well, we just look
at the height of his xinxing and the depth of his understanding of the Fa.
("Suggestions Given at the Beijing Falun Dafa Assistants Meeting,"
from Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa) Those fellow practitioners who work with and have knowledge of high
technology might not be doing any better in their cultivation than those who
simply distribute materials for clarifying the facts on the streets. The most
important thing is how we cultivate ourselves in our positions, and how we
validate Dafa and fulfill our missions as Fa-rectification period Dafa
disciples. Personal fame, benefits, and sentimentality are nothing compared to
saving sentient beings, validating Falun Dafa, and reaching consummation. 3. Sleeping For a while at the end of 2004, we were very short-handed but our workload
increased. We had to do our jobs as well as study the Fa and do the exercises.
Every day after work, I would first do the exercises for less than one hour, eat
something simple, read the Fa for a short while, then start Dafa work. I often
finished my workload at around 4:00 a.m. when the birds had already started
singing. I had to get up at 7:00 a.m. to go to work. I would nap in my car
during lunch break, because sleeping was more important than eating lunch. When
I was too tired while doing Dafa work, I would nap for 15 minutes on the carpet,
wake up when my alarm clock went off, wash my face, and go back to work. The
worse thing for me was when I fell asleep in front of my computer and then woke
up after 30 minutes. I then felt guilty, because the other members of my group
had to carry more of the work load. Although time was limited, my mind was very peaceful. I felt as though Master
was bearing all of our stress. I shared many times with fellow practitioners
about the matter of sleep. One practitioner said she only needed a 7 minute nap,
and then she would feel energetic. We all felt that Master was protecting and
taking care of us. Another practitioner was in charge of a large workload and
barely had a chance to sleep for long periods of time, but he was in a good
cultivation state. I felt that I was already sleeping the minimum amount of
time, and I was not sure if I could sleep even less. I asked him, "Is
sleeping only three hours per day enough?" He answered without hesitation,
"Absolutely!" His words encouraged me greatly. We are supernormal when
we cultivate Dafa! He said that we must keep doing the exercises, and that he
always felt that Master was pushing him to do them. Even if we just do the
sitting meditation 30 minutes before we go to sleep, that would make a big
difference. Sometimes, I couldn't go to sleep until 6:00 a.m. and only slept for
one or two hours. When one only has one or two hours left to sleep, it is a true
test whether one can do the fifth exercise for 30 minutes. I feel so lucky to be
able to cultivate this miraculous Dafa. Even during difficult times, Dafa always
shows its divine power! 4. Good Things There will undoubtedly be tests in our cultivation. I once discussed with a
fellow practitioner, via e-mail, how we could improve a specific plan. Due to a
misunderstanding in our communication, he thought I had changed the original
plan by myself and criticized me in a very stern e-mail. I felt wronged because
I wholeheartedly tried to do better, and he did not even stop and think before
he jumped to conclusions. I immediately felt hostile towards him, and from then
on had difficulty working with him. Though I had so many distorted notions
chirping in my head, my true nature knew that this was a test. I knew that I should not have been moved by my attachment, but I was not able
to stop those distorted thoughts from boiling in my mind. I thought about how I
was going to talk to him, and tell him my good intentions. After midnight, after
I had finished my work, I took a walk and quietly recited Lunyu and
Hong Yin. I wanted to eliminate the turmoil in my mind first,
or at least reach a state in which I no longer cared about the e-mail. I knew
that being wronged is not a nice feeling, but I also knew that whether one is
right or wrong on the surface is not important when one is being tested. Several days later I calmed down and practiced forbearance, even though deep
down inside I knew that the root cause remained. It was difficult for me to work
with this practitioner since I did not like his conduct. Master used Han Xin as
an example when teaching "Forbearance" in Zhuan Falun
and I thought to myself, "I can think about being unmoved when being
insulted, but who can still be nice to someone who has really insulted
you?" I simply could not imagine being compassionate to someone who had
just insulted me, and acting like nothing had happened. Of course my test was not as bad as what Han Xin had to endure. Master said, "I would say that friction among one another that tempers your xinxing
is not any easier than that and can be even worse--it is also quite
tough." ("People with Great Inborn Quality," Lecture Nine, Zhuan
Falun) How could I completely let go of this incident, grow and become more
compassionate? One time I shared my notion with others that it was impossible to
communicate with another fellow practitioner. He suddenly said, "Hasn't
Master said that these are all good things?" I was shaken. It was true, I
always looked at those situations as trouble. I disliked them and therefore
tried to push away the uneasiness. I had a notion to avoid difficulties and
pursue comfort, and it instinctively manifested. When my body went through a
tribulation, I would look inside and negate the old force's arrangements, and
meanwhile I always watched closely whether my physical condition improved or
not. If my physical condition did not improve, I felt lost and wondered why I
had not reached that "light feeling" that one is supposed to have
after a test? Master said, "Cultivation practice must take place through
tribulations..." ("Upgrading Xinxing," Lecture Four, Zhuan
Falun) Actually, this incident was a hint for me to eliminate the notion of
"avoiding conflicts." The principles of the three realms are reversed
compared with those in the heavens. Humans try to avoid things, want to get rid
of pain, and chase after comfort and happiness. Cultivators, on the other hand,
take xinxing conflicts as chances to improve themselves, recognize
their shortcomings through these tribulations, and see them as helping them let
go of attachments. While ordinary people see these things as obstacles, we
cultivators see them as our ladder to heaven. These are a cultivator's
principles. Why did I fail to recognize this? Master said in "Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S.
Capital, 2006," "There are many religious groups today who say: 'Oh, look at how good
things are with us here. Everyone is very caring and loving towards one
another.' What are they loving, though? (Audience laughs) They love
attachments, love happiness in the mortal world, and love maintaining that
human pleasantness among people. Is that cultivation? It's not! Absolutely
not. That's only a shield used to protect human attachments." Master clearly pointed out my attachments. I have become accustomed to
peacefully interacting with others since I was young. I always tried not to hurt
others and enjoyed the comforting feeling of being friendly. I was still trying
to enjoy such comfort during my cultivation, and I thought that others were not
peaceful, had attachments, and more, which was exactly a notion of an ordinary
person that I needed to relinquish. After I had enlightened to this, I felt very light. I know that I will not
treat these tribulations as negative things any longer! 5. Negating the Old Forces Master taught us in "Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Midwest-U.S. Fa
Conference," "I give you automatic mechanisms for increasing gong and other
elements such as the Falun. Also, my Law Bodies are personally looking after
Dafa disciples, and my Law Bodies appointed some Gods who can truly assist
with Fa-rectification to help. But, the old forces have systematically
arranged their elements, too, and in that way they specifically arranged
everything they wanted. So this has put every student under the influence of
specific arrangements by the old forces, and under the influence of those old
force beings." There are various personalities among Dafa disciples. I am relatively
introverted. I take ordinary people's affairs very lightly and seldom chat with
colleagues, except when I am clarifying the facts, due to my poor English.
During the Fa-rectification period, practitioners need to cooperate well with
each other, therefore communicating well is necessary. My introverted
personality has turned into resistance that I must overcome. A typical example
is making phone calls. It is rather laughable that I have an unreasonable
dislike of making phone calls. I choose e-mail rather than calling fellow
practitioners, which has created difficulties in our group's communication and
effectiveness. Master taught us to negate the old force's arrangements. When we negate this
persecution arranged by the old forces, we must examine ourselves to see if we
have any notions and habits that we have formed in the maze, but are unaware of.
We cannot let them stop us from further assimilating with Dafa and saving more
sentient beings. Master taught us, "Rest momentarily for self-reflection, add righteous thoughts Sometimes when reading the Fa, I suddenly think about the fact that some day,
I will stop being busy in the human world, leave here forever, and go back to my
real home, which is beyond the imagination. When I have these thoughts I feel
indescribably happy. At this historical moment when the new cosmos is replacing
the old one, we are the Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples that Master has
chosen, and we have bright futures. I hope that all of Master's disciples consummate and return to their true
homes. I hope that everyone who has a predestined relationship with Master on
this earth will learn the truth! July 16, 2007
Analyze shortcomings explicitly, advance again wholeheartedly"
("Be Rational, Awaken," from Hong Yin II, Version B)
Chinese version available at
http://minghui.org/mh/articles/2007/7/26/159577.html
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