Looking at Marriage from the Perspective of Divine Beings
By a Dafa practitioner in Mainland China
(Clearwisdom.net) After a collection of articles called "Cultivate
the Heart and Eliminate Desires" was published, fellow practitioners
have discussed their thoughts at length about marriage, emotion, lust and
desire. If we can look at these things from the Fa's perspective, we are sure to
be better at having righteous thoughts and righteous actions, and walking our
path well. This article shares some understandings about marriage that I have developed
from cultivating in Dafa, as well as from recent discussions among
practitioners. 1. Marriage Marriage is one of the forms that was arranged for human beings by divine
beings. Its purpose and significance may include: There may be different ways of giving life in different dimensions and
levels. In the human world, marriage and the relationship between husband and
wife is the way of continuing and propagating the human race. In recent times,
more and more people see this as a less and less important reason for the
existence of marriage, believing that their perspective is more advanced. This
is a warped perspective and a manifestation of deviating from divine beings. A person can have relations of husband and wife, but sexual relations outside
of marriage, including the living together before marriage, are sins because
they are not arranged and allowed by divine beings. Modern people have been
departing significantly from the arrangements made by divine beings. Modern people over-emphasize the concept of "love conquers all". To
make a joke, divine beings probably don't care too much about the love between
two people. That two people can develop love for each other and even get married
is because of their predestined relationship and reaping in this lifetime what
they did in previous lives, be it good or evil. In the modern view of love being
above all, the concept of a predestined relationship is largely ignored. Some
people, who are weak-willed or unable to control their emotions, have even
killed themselves out of love. A predestined relationship can vary in depth. One kind of predestined
relationship may only end up in two people passing by each other on the street,
while another might mean being married to each other several lifetimes in a row.
By insisting on doing things at any cost and following one's desires and
pursuits, a person might well be endangering others as well as himself. In
modern times, many people do bad things or even kill out of emotion and
attachments. Going with the natural course and predestined relationships is the
way set forth by divine beings. From my understanding, a person's attitude toward marriage should acknowledge
that marriage is a normal state of human life, and it carries with it
responsibility for each other and the family, including responsibility for the
emotional and financial aspects of the union, and in many other areas as well.
When conflict arises, each should look within to find ways to improve and do
their best for each other. For a Falun Gong practitioner who is cultivating in a state that conforms to
the state of everyday people as much as possible, the above is a basic
requirement since we are taught to be good people as a starting point. But as
Falun Gong practitioners, we need to go beyond that. We should not be attached
to sentiments and desire, and should in fact let go of it entirely. A
practitioner should not be attached to or pursue what an everyday person does. 2. Whether A Practitioner Should Get Married Recently, a disagreement has taken place among local practitioners about
whether a young male practitioner and a young female practitioner should get
married. The young male practitioner "A" was introduced to the young
female practitioner, and they were preparing to get married. An older
practitioner "B" said, "At this time you still want to get
married; you are asking for hardship and making your tribulations worse. It is
time now to cultivate your heart and sever your desires, but you are
strengthening your desires instead." Practitioner "A" retorted,
"Does staying single signify cultivating one's heart and severing
desires?" Another time, I heard that there were several husband-and-wife
practitioners who live like Kasyapa (a disciple of Buddha Shakyamuni), where the
husband and wife do not sleep in the same bed. I saw several questions arising from the two situations I just described: Let's first review Master's answer to a practitioner's question during the Fa
Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference: "Disciple: A while back, the Minghui website added a note to an
article, saying that currently disciples should try their best not to marry
non-practitioners or new practitioners. A Dafa disciple from Taiwan would
like to ask about this for a Dafa disciple from mainland China. Master: That article was written by a Dafa disciple, and what Dafa
disciples have written is open to discussion and the exchange of ideas. It's
not that the Fa has asked you to do something, nor that it has to be handled
a certain way. Master didn't say that, and the Fa does not require it.
However, when Dafa disciples do things, it's prudent for them to put extra
thought into it. You are a Dafa disciple, after all, so you have to be
responsible to your cultivation, and you have to be responsible to the
environment Dafa disciples have. So, I think that if you can manage to
consider things on that basis, you will know whether certain things should
be done, and, if so, how they should be done. If you put yourself first,
it's likely many things will not go well, and problems will arise. If you
truly want to be responsible to Dafa and to your own cultivation, you will
do things well." ("Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa
Conference") I came to realize that the Fa does not say what to do in a specific
situation. The key is the way we think and make decisions. Our words and deeds
must be based on being responsible for the Fa, responsible for one's own
cultivation and for fellow practitioners' cultivation, and being responsible for
the environment of the whole. Master's Fa lecture does not address this so
specifically because Master's Fa is the Great Law of the universe. To my
understanding, things at this low level can't be put into the Great Law. We as
practitioners need to make decisions about what to do in this human world.
However, the Fa of the human world is also a representation of the Fa of the
universe at the level of the human world. For a Falun Gong practitioner, to
understand Dafa correctly and to walk the path correctly is of vital importance.
Master did not explain some things explicitly. My understanding is that Master
does not do so because everyone's situation is complex and unique, as is
everyone's own xinxing level. As cultivators, we need to analyze
each specific situation and make choices based on the principles of the Fa. Back to the three questions I raised above. Young practitioner "A"
agreed with the Minghui/Clearwisdom.net article that a veteran practitioner
should avoid marrying an everyday person or a new practitioner, so he married
another veteran practitioner. The elder practitioner "B" seemed more
strict, thinking that in the current situation a veteran practitioner should not
get married at all, even to a veteran practitioner. Practitioner "A"
asked me for an opinion The person concerned should ask himself with a responsible mentality what his
motivation for getting married is. There might be many motivations, some of
which might include: If the first motivation applies, the person concerned should ask himself
why, when the Fa-rectification is approaching its final conclusion, he still
harbors everyday people's mentalities and when is he going to discard them.
The second and third motivations are upright and can be acted upon. After deciding to get married, one also needs to consider whether the other
person is suitable. Being responsible for the other person is also being
responsible for himself. Personally, I agree with the Minghui/Clearwisdom
article that a veteran practitioner should avoid getting married to an everyday
person or a new practitioner. Even when marrying a veteran practitioner, both
people need to communicate well with each other about how to harmonize in all
aspects and how to cultivate xinxing and sever desires. They also need to
consider their work arrangements and financial situation, etc. As fellow practitioners, when a person faces this question, it is appropriate
for us to remind him and help him analyze the situation with a mentality of
being responsible for the Fa and for the whole environment. But we should not
reach an absolute conclusion and try to make the decision for him, because he
must cultivate himself. Besides, one must decide what he wants, and this is also
a law of this universe. Only he knows his own xinxing state, and he must walk
his own path. What they do after they get married is their own business. For instance, some
couples might live like Kasyapa, but that is not something that needs to be
publicized to avoid misunderstandings. The above is my personal understanding. Please point it out if any of my
understandings does not conform to the Fa principles.
Chinese version available at
http://www.minghui.ca/mh/articles/2007/6/29/157739.html
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