Looking Inward and Directly Targeting My Mind

By a Falun Dafa practitioner from Chongqing City

(Clearwisdom.net) By now I have understood that Teacher has given us a cultivation system, while the old forces have also imposed on us a system that they wanted. Therefore, all practitioners come across interference and tribulations, particularly all the interference reflected in the chores of our daily lives. However, we have sometimes failed to pay attention to this, and we have lost a lot of opportunities to upgrade our xinxing. I have come to realize that it is often these little things that touch upon our fundamental attachments.

The following are some examples of my cultivation with regards to everyday chores. I want them to serve as a warning to those practitioners who experience similar situations.

My Wife's Scolding

Water accidentally got into a bowl that contained nails, and naturally the nails got rusty. I washed the nails in the basin where my wife washes clothes, but I did not clean out the rust that settled on the bottom of the basin. My wife got very angry with me and scolded me for a good while. She said that I never paid attention to what I was doing. I wasn't angry when she was scolding me. When I calmed down, I asked myself, "Was this considered having passed the test? Did I have a xinxing problem?" I studied the section "Upgrading Xinxing" from Zhuan Falun. Teacher said,

"Whenever you encounter a problem, you should first consider whether others can put up with this matter or if it will hurt anyone."

I realized that when I did things I often did not consider the feelings of other people, or whether what I did would bring trouble or harm other people later.

Now, looking back, I have found that nothing is isolated. My mistake was to ignore the causal relationship of my actions to the actions of others. This showed that I was being selfish. In the past, I always cared only about things that affected me and paid little attention to those that didn't. This was a manifestation of my selfishness, which I failed to notice. This showed that it was deeply rooted. I would not let my attachment slip away this time, and I resolutely rooted it out.

I Mistook Vinegar for Soy Sauce

One afternoon, a middle-aged woman came in and complained that she had wanted to buy soy sauce but that I had given her vinegar. As a result, the dishes she cooked were sour. I felt terrible for failing to do my job properly. I apologized and filled a bottle of soy sauce for her.

How could such a thing happen? It turned out that while cleaning up, my wife had shifted the soy sauce barrel and the vinegar barrel. When she put them back, she switched their places. Therefore, I mistakenly took the vinegar to be the soy sauce. Once I found this out, should I think no further? No. I thought of a paragraph of Teacher's lecture "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference:"

"When any conflict arises or anything happens, I've told you that not only should the two parties in the conflict look for reasons on their part, even any third party should think about himself--why are you the one who observed it? When you are a direct party in the conflict, that's even more the case, but why won't you cultivate yourself?"

At the beginning I was looking for an external cause; however, only by looking inward can it be considered cultivating xinxing.

What was the real cause of the mistake? I repeatedly checked all the factors of my xinxing and finally found the attachment, which had been buried deep in my heart for a very long time. Namely, it was the attachment of craving greatness and success. Since I was a child, the CCP taught us to have lofty ideas and great expectations. Therefore, I had a strong desire to do something big, something noticeable. As for minor matters, I took only a perfunctory attitude. At a result, mistakes like the one mentioned above were unavoidable.

To me, a selfish person, minor issues and big issues are different. I only pay attention to the result but not the process. Therefore, what I wanted to achieve would always be something big since big things would bring me more benefits. However, as practitioners we pay attention to the process instead of the result. For practitioners, it does not really matter whether it is a minor issue or a major issue since the attachment that is exposed is the same. From now on, I will closely watch my attitude and eliminate the attachments whenever they emerge.

Cultivation Is Not About Shouting Slogans

One day when I took part in the morning group exercises with practitioners from all over the country, I was repeatedly bitten by mosquitoes and had one lump after another. I felt miserable, so I scratched a few times for every bite. Scratching while doing the exercises did happen before, but it left me with a deep impression this time. Maybe Teacher was giving me a hint.

I thought, "Nothing is accidental." By that time I suddenly thought of the words Teacher mentions in the section "Your Mind Must Be Right" from Zhuan Falun. During the exercises I would shake my legs whenever mosquitoes bit me. When mosquitoes bit my face, I would pat my face and when they bit my arms, I would scratch my arms. This was adding movements into the exercises. Then how could I do the exercises well? Practicing the exercises is a serious matter. I should not add any movement to them even though I felt itchy or uncomfortable because adding movements to the exercises is also an act of undermining the Fa!

As a matter of fact, the emergence of this state was also a kind of interference. This scratching looked very natural, but was it really natural? I would say not, and there must be problems in my xinxing. I should not let this state continue. I looked inward and finally found the attachment. It turned out to be the attachment of seeking comfort. I realized that I cannot take this lightly, as it will drag one back to being an everyday person. I often talked to my fellow practitioners in our sharing that no matter how big the difficulty or retribution or how inhuman the persecution, as long as our belief in Teacher and the Fa is rock solid, at the critical moment we will be able to pass the test. Now I have realized that cultivation is not about shouting slogans or saying lofty words, but a process of constantly looking inward for every thought and action, which directly targets our minds. Only by doing so can we truly cultivate ourselves. When mosquitoes bite, one feels uncomfortable and annoyed. Then one scratches the bites to seek comfort. At a time like that, where is our rock-solid belief in Teacher and the Fa? Where is our will that should be solid like diamond and immutable? Mosquitoes are small but the distraction reflected in the mind was huge. If we cannot let it go, then how can we maintain righteous thoughts and righteous actions, and how can we pass big tribulations?

Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2007/8/29/161708.html

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