(Clearwisdom.net) I'm an older practitioner who has practiced Falun Dafa for many years. During these years, my deepest understanding about the remaining old forces and communist evil spirits is that they are unwilling to be eliminated, and they still constantly look for loopholes in our cultivation so as to create tribulations for us. But no matter what kind of tribulation I come across, as long as my perspective is firmly on Dafa and I maintain righteous thoughts and continue to do the things that a Fa-rectification period Falun Dafa practitioner should do, I can resolve the tribulation. Otherwise, if I am a little careless, the end result could be a complete failure.
In January 2007, I suddenly felt uncomfortable and my legs felt heavy as I returned home after going out to clarify the truth in the morning. I had talked with three people, and one had withdrawn from the Chinese Communist Party and its affiliated organizations after learning the truth. The other two were not Party members, but they understood the truth of Falun Dafa. Feeling discomfort, I sent forth righteous thoughts from the bottom of my heart while negating the old forces' arrangements and vowing to walk only on Teacher's path.
In the afternoon, I stayed home to study the Fa, and I sent forth righteous thoughts every hour and looked within myself for loopholes. During this time, I started coughing, felt feverish, and ached all over. I said in my mind, "Evil spirits, dark minions, and rotten demons, how could these dirty tactics work on a Dafa disciple in the period of Fa-rectification?" For the next two days, I continued to go out and do truth-clarification work. I only had the thought, "Time is life, hurry-up to save lives." At the time there was nothing in my mind but Falun Dafa and thoughts of saving sentient beings. As a result, I could walk very fast--as though I was floating--and the results of truth-clarification were good.
On the fifth day after I got up, I saw that my face had swelled and turned red. Although my eyes could barely be seen, I could still see the road. I did not let even this condition stop me from going out to clarify the truth to people.
One day when I was sending forth righteous thoughts, my husband suddenly said something negative, "It's been almost eight years since July 1999. What's the use of your doing this? Look at yourself. The more you practice, the more backward you retreat, getting a cold and fever, and your face is so swollen that you barely look like a human being. [If you] let your fellow practitioners see you, you will disgrace your Teacher and disgrace Falun Gong."
What he said was quite awakening. I peacefully replied, "Human nature was originally good in the beginning. You're a very good and upright person. Because I practice Falun Gong, you've have suffered a lot and shouldered many risks. I thank you. [However] what you said a moment ago was not really you saying it. All I want is to believe in Teacher and the Fa and walk on the path to return to my true self." Meanwhile, I was thinking to myself, "My mission is to assist Teacher in Fa-rectification--it's unstoppable, as solid as a rock." Then my husband said, "I don't mind any more. Just don't let the police arrest you." (Nowadays, he always reminds me when it's time to send forth righteous thoughts!)
As my mind became serene, I dug deep inside to look for the root cause of my problems, which I finally found! At that time, it was already past midnight.
For a long time, many remaining human attachments that hadn't been cultivated away were still causing interference. They included complacency, the show-off mentality, and the mental state of satisfaction. Take my involvement with the "three withdrawals" project for instance. I was in charge of recording the number of withdrawals from August to December 2006. The total number of withdrawals for five months was over 200 people, with a monthly average of about 40, not including those who weren't Party members, but who understood the truth of Falun Dafa and made declarations on the Internet. Even though I knew that everything was done by Teacher, I still had the show-off mentality and was quite satisfied with myself, thus becoming complacent. This caused the old forces to take advantage of my loopholes as well as use this as an excuse to continue the vicious persecution.
In view of what happened to me, I realized that our every word, thought and action must be based on the requirements of Dafa. If we do not cultivate ourselves diligently, the evils are always on the lookout, waiting to take advantage of our laziness, trying to enlarge and strengthen our attachments, and making us slide downwards. Therefore, we must make sure to completely eliminate whatever attachments we still have so as to avoid problems in the future.
September 9, 2007
