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Looking Inward Is the Key to Xinxing Improvement
By a Dafa practitioner in Weifang City, Shandong Province
(Clearwisdom.net) I am a practitioner who has cultivated in Dafa for nine
years. Before my cultivation, I was a person who had a very strong competitive
mentality. I did not agree with anyone. Whether I was right or not, I never
allowed others to criticize me. At home, I did not allow anyone to overrule me.
After I started my cultivation, this competitive and aggressive character has
often caused problems for me, not only at home, but also at my workplace. Master has cautioned us, "When Dafa disciples make mistakes, they do not like to be criticized.
No one can criticize them, and when someone does, it sets them off. When they
are right, they don't like others bringing up things they could improve on;
when they are wrong, they don't want to be criticized. They get upset as soon
as others criticize. The problem is becoming pretty bad." ("Teaching
the Fa in the City of Los Angeles," February 25, 2006) I am just that kind of person that Master mentioned, one who does not listen
to anyone's criticism. Especially at home, I often used a commanding tone when
talking to my family members. I did not care whether others could accept it or
not, or how they might feel about it. I kept acting that way. I treated my
husband particularly badly. I always found fault with him. When conflicts
occurred, I always tried to find the other's faults, and I always deemed myself
right. I did not search within myself and I always stared at the other's
shortcomings. I am so far from Master's requirements. After realizing my shortcomings, now when I look at my family members again,
I find that they indeed have many merits and are better than I am in many
aspects. Through this searching inward and this comparing, I have found the root
cause of my problems. Namely, my "selfishness" has been at play. If I
had not had the selfish mentality and if I had always had a compassionate and a
peaceful mindset, I guarantee that I would not have had the problems mentioned
above. After finding the root cause, I started to take it seriously. In the
beginning, I felt a little awkward. I later intentionally made myself slow down
when speaking, and I reminded myself that I should let others finish talking
first. By doing this, I could talk with my husband in a consulting voice. As a
result, the frequency of conflicts in my home has decreased. I have also tackled
other conflicts in the same way. Now, I have basically been able to listen to
others' criticisms in any situation. My family members have also mentioned that
I have changed. However, I still need to continue my effort to improve my xinxing
and do even better. This is just my personal understanding; please point out anything improper. January 8, 2008 |