By QiQi, a practitioner from China

(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!

I would like to take the opportunity of this online experience sharing conference to share with fellow practitioners my cultivation experiences of recent years.

I obtained the Fa in late 1996 and am a veteran practitioner. I have taken many roundabout routes however on my cultivation path. For years, I knew that Dafa was good but I was not enlightened to high-level Fa principles. Officials from the local police station came to investigate me at my home and workplace. Because I didn't have any fear at that time, Master protected me. But I was not enlightened to the fact that I should go to Beijing to validate the Fa. After that, superficially I was not harmed, but I became numb, and I remained in that state until 2004. I wasted five years of cultivation.

By chance in 2004, I obtained software to break through the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) Internet blockade. The moment I opened the Minghui website, I found myself like a lost child finally finding my home. After I finished reading a practitioner's autobiography, Weathering the Storm, and practitioners' experience sharing articles, I felt I was a particle of Dafa as well and understood the responsibilities on my shoulders. In a dream one day, I saw a hole open in the sky and saw Master wave his hand. Many practitioners from different directions flew up and left while I was running on the earth and was not able to fly. Master hinted to me that I should catch up with the process of Fa-rectification.

As soon as I had the thought of making truth-clarification materials myself, Master arranged a fellow practitioner who had left home to avoid the persecution to come to my city and take charge of operating our local materials production site. After our discussion, I was assigned to take charge of downloading the contents. Because I had just stepped forward and wanted to make up for the time I lost in previous years, I had a strong attachment to doing things. In the process of transporting materials, practitioners gave me lots of feedback on how to improve the quality of the materials. Though I didn't say it, in my heart, I felt aggrieved and I complained about the practitioners. Master said,

"When Dafa disciples make mistakes, they do not like to be criticized. No one can criticize them, and when someone does, it sets them off. When they are right, they don't like others bringing up things they could improve on; when they are wrong, they don't want to be criticized. They get upset as soon as others criticize. The problem is becoming pretty bad." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")

Not until then did I realize the seriousness of my problem. When practitioners subsequently pointed anything out to me, I looked inward and expressed my thanks to them from the bottom of my heart. When I truly put my heart into downloading materials, few practitioners criticized me.

One day, I was about to leave home to deliver materials, when I received a phone call from a practitioner telling me to be aware of my safety, and warning me there were police outside the door. I encouraged myself not to be afraid and do whatever needed to be done. I then went to the materials site by bicycle. A police car drove past me from behind, and I was a bit unsteady in my heart. Then a van drove very fast past me. I wondered if it came to follow me. Because I had this thought, when I arrived at the material site, I found that the van was parked right opposite, and there were people inside the van. Being afraid of exposing our materials site, I took a detour and returned home. At home, the more I thought about it the worse I felt. I realized that all of this happened because I had fear. It was all targeted at my fear and had evolved from my heart. Even if the evil had been watching over the materials site, I should have told practitioners and shouldn't have stayed at home. The next day, I sent forth righteous thoughts to negate it and asked Master for help. On my way to the materials site, I recited Master's poem, "What's to Fear?" from Hongyin II. As soon as I arrived, I found that everything was normal and the elements in other dimensions that had caused my fear had been dissolved.

With the progress of Fa-rectification, I was no longer content with downloading data for the materials site. I decided to buy a printer and make my home one of the materials production centers that flourished throughout the country. I hoped that I could alleviate the burden of the big materials site a bit. Since I started to practice Falun Dafa, my husband had been supportive. But as to buying a printer, he didn't agree at all. I contemplated what I should do. We had a computer at home and it should be quite normal to buy a printer. So why did he object so fiercely to buying? On our family matters, I let him have the say. Yet, on such an important matter as validating the Fa, I couldn't let him interfere. No one could stop me if it was something related to saving sentient beings, so I asked for Master's help. I then bought a printer and my husband said nothing. I realized that when we are in line with the Fa, everything will go smoothly.

Every year, my husband lost his temper several times and even smashed things when he couldn't control himself. It intensified after I started practicing Falun Dafa. I thought he might be helping me improve my xinxing, so I didn't take it to heart. This year, however, he smashed my computer. I realized that it was interference because I acknowledged that he had a bad temper and let it become a "normal phenomenon." This was obviously incorrect. So I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate all the evil factors that manipulated him. In addition, I looked inward and found that my competitive heart had existed for a long time and I had not let it go. It had interfered with me for a long time. The next day, I sincerely apologized to him. He also found he was wrong and made it up with his actions. He did a lot of housework for me, so I could spend more time and energy on saving sentient beings.

Influenced by the social environment, in my workplace everyone would receive the same reward whether it was a bonus distribution or work arrangements. But the three Chinese characters of the word "unfair" were still on people's lips. Though I had cultivated for so many years, I was not able to let go of this human heart.

Last year in my workplace, a person who I thought was not as competent as me was appointed to be my boss and I was asked to cooperate well with him. I wasn't balanced in my heart. How could he be my boss? Some people added fuel to the fire by telling me, "He is inferior to you in every way." Although I clearly knew it was arranged by Master to eliminate my jealousy, I still felt uneasy when I had to face it. I repeatedly read this Fa,

"In the workplace, a person may feel that others are not as capable as he. Whatever he does, he does it well. He finds himself indeed remarkable. He thinks to himself: "I'm qualified to be a factory director or manager, or even a higher position. I think that I could even be Prime Minister." The boss may also say that this person is really capable and can accomplish anything. Coworkers may also express that he is really capable and talented. Nevertheless, there may be another person in the same working group or sharing the same office with him who is quite incapable of doing anything or is good for nothing. Yet one day this incompetent person gets a promotion instead of him and even becomes his supervisor. He will feel in his heart that it is unfair and complain to his boss and coworkers, feeling very upset and quite jealous." (Zhuan Falun)

I finally managed to eliminate this attachment after I was tested on several occasions.

This year, my attachment of showing off was demonstrated very intensely. Unconsciously or subconsciously, I boasted to practitioners that I had a computer and a printer, and that I could do everything myself, while the practitioners were still relying on others. For a time, the machines at the large materials site often had problems and we didn't get materials for two months. I tried very hard to discuss this with practitioners, but no one wanted to buy computers to make materials at home. My heart of complaining came up again. By studying the Fa, I realized the seriousness of my problem. At that time, the Minghui website published a booklet containing a collection of truth-clarifying materials. On the cover, five heavenly beauties were playing zither, flute, pipa, etc. Suddenly, I realized that though everyone was assigned to do different jobs, as long as they cooperated well, they could play beautiful music. Doing truth-clarifying work was just like playing music. It needs the cooperation of the whole body. Though some practitioners didn't make materials, they certainly would not stay at home to enjoy themselves. Some spent money bills that had truth-clarifying sentences written on them, some clarified the truth to people face-to-face, and others wrote truth-clarifying letters. We are one body. As a member of the one body, we have to harmonize the whole body unconditionally. I remembered Master said,

"Improvement for a cultivator definitely doesn't result from finger pointing, nor does it result from my criticism of you as your Master or from your pointing fingers at or criticizing each other. It comes from you cultivating yourself." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")

Upon being enlightened to this Fa, I completely let go of my selfish state of being self-centered and was no longer attached to how many materials I made. There were many channels to clarify the truth and practitioners could adopt any one of them. If the practitioners did well, I helped support them. If practitioners didn't do well, I sent forth righteous thoughts to clear away the interference. I supported practitioners who set up materials production centers at their homes without making any fuss. When I let go of this attachment, an older illiterate practitioner offered to take part of the responsibility for supplying materials, and she managed to learn how to operate the computer and printer. Thus, I further realized the Fa's implication. My own attachment was one of the hindrances that prevented this practitioner from previously taking initiative to learn how to operate the computer.

One day, the air conditioner in my house suddenly started leaking. My first thought was to call the repairman, but I dismissed it on a second thought. Nothing that practitioners come across is accidental, so there must have been an omission in my cultivation. Master used this to remind me to look inward.

In this period of time, I had many opportunities to meet customers. Whenever I met them, I told them the truth about Falun Dafa and the persecution. Due to time limitations, I wasn't always able to explain things in detail, so I gave out leaflets and VCDs and told customers to read or watch them carefully. I feared they may not understand. Some people didn't want them, but I insisted. I forgot to send forth righteous thoughts while I was distributing the materials, and as a result, some people reported me to my director, who arranged for the Party secretary to investigate the situation. I then shared with another practitioner from my workplace regarding the situation. We agreed if the Party secretary came to talk to us, we would face him in a noble and dignified manner. We would tell him the truth calmly and with compassion to eliminate the evil factors that manipulated him. My fellow practitioner and I sent forth strong righteous thoughts, thinking, Sentient beings were waiting for us. Even if we had done something inappropriate, evil beings were not allowed to find excuses to persecute us and sentient beings. Superficially, the old forces were persecuting us, while in actuality, they were persecuting sentient beings. Because sentient beings are lost in a maze, they are easily deluded by false images. If the evil persecutes practitioners and prevents them from telling people the truth about Falun Dafa, won't they be persecuting sentient beings? This was not allowed.

As soon as I was enlightened to this, the air conditioner was restored to its normal state. The fellow practitioner and I were more determined that as long as we were righteous, no one could move us a bit. Master said,

"Gods can control the human mind and lead humans to do certain things, not vice versa. How could human beings possibly affect gods? So if you wish to become a divine being, don't you yourself have to be that way?"("Teaching the Fa in Canada 2006")

We were the leading players in this incident. We both sent strong righteous thoughts simultaneously. We thought, Nobody is allowed to touch us; Eliminate all dark minions, rotten demons, and meddling deities and break through the old forces' arrangements; If any people have bad thoughts, let them become very busy and receive retribution as big as the karma they committed. Several days later, a staff members in one department began a fight and the Party secretary was nearly hurt when reconciling the dispute. The director and Party secretary were busy fixing those issues and trivialized the investigation of us.

I still have a human heart that I am not able to let go of on my cultivation way. I will take the Fa as my teacher, do well the three things as Master requires us to do, cultivate diligently, and clarify the truth in a noble and dignified manner to save more sentient beings.

Please kindly point out anything inappropriate. Heshi.

Chinese version available at http://minghui.org/mh/articles/2008/12/3/190894.html