An Honest Repentance

(Clearwisdom.net)

My name is Yang Quan. I was a railway employee before I was sentenced to prison for robbing a bank ten years ago. In 2007, I was diagnosed with rectal cancer and was released on bail for medical treatment. It was a late-stage cancer. When the physician opened me up, he decided it was too late for surgery to do any good, so I was discharged from the hospital.

After I was sent home, I experienced increasing pain in my lower abdomen and anus. As time went on, I had difficulty walking and standing. I also became increasingly grumpy. When I had almost given up all hope, a Falun Gong practitioner called on me. She clarified the truth about Falun Gong to me and gave me truth-clarification materials. I was shocked after I read them. Actually, I had thought I knew perfectly well about the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) deceitfulness and immorality. It was not until I read these materials that I finally understood the level of the CCP's brutality and shamelessness. It was not until then that I realized the degree of difficulty that Falun Gong practitioners have endured in order to spread the truth about Falun Gong. Since then, I have accepted the Falun Gong principles of "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance," and I am determined to conduct myself according to these universal principles.

I feel heartbroken, however, when I think of something I did a few years ago. It happened when I was in prison. One day I discovered a funny picture designed to slander Falun Gong. In the hope of having my prison term reduced, I copied the funny picture and mailed my version to the prison newspaper. Of course it was not published. I altered the picture a little, but the newspaper still did not publish it.

I am overcome with regret now that I think of it. It was an act of horrible disrespect towards Master Li Hongzhi and Falun Gong! Now that I know the truth about Falun Gong, I would like to beg that Master Li and Falun Gong practitioners forgive me for my ignorance and for the harm I have done. Meanwhile, I shall conduct myself according to Falun Gong's principles. I shall study the Fa diligently, cultivate my xinxing seriously, and follow the universal principles to become a genuinely good person.

(The following confession was made in a first-person narrative)

At first, we did whatever the CCP told us to do in order to protect ourselves. In fact, this is how we managed to survive the CCP's many political movements. But it is different this time.

Early in 2000, I realized that a relative of mine was becoming prone to many illnesses. I also discovered that many of our family friends who were government officials at various managerial levels had come down with different illnesses. Some had even died of mysterious causes.

My relative started to sigh frequently when he got home. He refused to tell me what was bothering him. After my persistent inquiries, one day he finally told me, "Since I started to execute the CCP's order to suppress Falun Gong, I have been actively participating in the suppression of Falun Gong. At each and every meeting, I am required to slander Falun Gong. Falun Gong practitioners say they are cultivating on the path to godhood and that those who persecute Falun Gong will meet with karmic retribution because it is a heavenly law. You may not believe it if I tell you, but I have been feeling unwell since that day. On some days I have felt so ill that it seems as though I would fall apart, and I don't even have the strength to speak."

"Why don't you stop slandering Falun Gong? Why don't you just pretend you are following the order?" I asked him.

"I am afraid!" he said. "You know the CCP will show no mercy! Remember the CCP will not leave you alone even when it has peeled all the skin off your body! The Chinese Communist government is a rotten scoundrel. It makes everyone participate in the suppression of Falun Gong, and does not care what happens to you! There have been many incidences of karmic retribution. Even the mayor has been diagnosed with cancer of the larynx He has quit smoking, but will he be cured of cancer? Is there anyone who has not met with karmic retribution for persecuting Falun Gong practitioners? Still, no one dares to talk about it openly. Many have come down with terminal illnesses and completely depend on medicine, but no one dares to discuss these cases of karmic retribution. Alas! I am pressured from many sources. Life is not easy!"

Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2008/4/4/175789.html

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