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Conditional Giving and Keeping Promises By a Falun Gong practitioner in the U.S.
(Clearwisdom.net) The practitioners in Seattle have been preparing for
the Chinese Spectacular show for almost four months. I had been helping
to sell tickets, but my giving was conditional. For example, when the organizer
asked if anyone could help with a certain task, I used excuses for not helping.
I would think about having to go to work and thus not having enough time to
perform the task. Later, I heard that practitioners from California used their
lunch time to perform the tasks. In comparison, we can see the gap between those
practitioners and me. Conditional giving is equivalent to bargaining. It is like
having the attitude that one only gives if one gets the return that one has
affixed. This kind of mentality is impure. Master said that practitioners are on
the path to being divine beings. Yet I held on to my attachments and could not
achieve a breakthrough. When the preparation work for the Chinese Spectacular started, I took
the initiative to lead some projects. As I made my conditional contribution, I
only used the time during the weekends to handle these projects. In the end,
there was one project that was delayed due to me. Fellow practitioners were very
displeased with me. I was also very self-reproachful. I understood that we have
to take the initiative to do the Dafa projects, and it is also a serious matter.
We cannot simply promise to do things and in the end not perform. We must do
what we have promised to do. There is an old saying "In comparison to lots
of gold, Buxi's promise is more valuable (Buxi is a person who always keeps his
promises)." The "Truthfulness" in "Truthfulness, Compassion
and Forbearance" requires us to do truthful things and say truthful words.
If we did not fulfill our promise, even if the initial intention was good, by
not keeping our promise we did not assimilate to "Truthfulness." From
another viewpoint, I had not been responsible toward Dafa. Because I did not do
the project well, the other practitioners had to spend additional time and
energy to help me make amends and thus I caused a delay for everyone. When the Chinese Spectacular started to perform, I was immersed in the
compassion of Dafa and I couldn't stop crying. This show, for which I had been
waiting for a year, had finally started to perform in our area; however, I did
not do some of the projects necessary for the preparation work due to some of my
attachments. Thus I was truly regretful and had remorse, but it was too late to
make amends. A day will come when all things will end. When the moment of Fa-rectification
arrives, do I want to end up being full of regret and remorse because I had
attachments that I could not let go of? The things that I did not do well this
year, I may still have next year to make amends. But at the moment when the Fa-rectification
arrives, there will be no more chances to make amends. That will be the time
when it is really too late. But who should we blame? Only ourselves! Everyone is
cultivating the same Fa. Master made arrangements for all of us to improve
ourselves. But if I protect my own impure attachments and refuse to let go of
them, then isn't it true that I am like the bottle filled with dirty things that
Master has mentioned in Zhuan Falun? Master told us that there is not much time left. Now it is the final phase
and this moment "is worth a thousand times more than gold and is extremely
valuable." Due to the Chinese Spectacular this time, I gained a
deeper understanding that time is really very tight. I understand that however
many Dafa projects we do, we must get rid of all our attachments and really
improve ourselves to achieve Consummation and return with Master. May 1, 2008
Posting date: 5/14/2008 |