My Recent Experiences and Understanding Related to Searching Inside

(Clearwisdom.net) Recently, after reading articles by other practitioners on searching inside themselves, I have achieved a tremendous amount. I am hereby writing down some of my personal experiences to share.

Being a cultivator, I know that nothing is accidental and everything has a reason. However, some of us only remember this when it directly affects our personal interests. It proves that we still understand the Fa on a surface level.

For example, if a cultivator has strong righteous thoughts, bad influences will not penetrate into his field. He will not be able to see or be touched by them. If he can see or hear or even feel them, it means that he has got some loopholes, which also means that it is time that he looks inside himself.

One day after work, I went to my parents' house. My sister-in-law (not a practitioner) happened to be there, too. She told me, "I went to use the bathroom inside a KFC fast food restaurant. An employee had to go badly and asked me if I could wait. She said that she would be late for a meeting and would be fined if she was late. I needed to go right away, too, so I thought, why should I let her go first?" From the perspective of the Fa, this thought was selfish and not righteous at all. But why did she tell me this? Asking myself, I realized that I had had such selfish thoughts as well. Recently, my mother-in-law had caught a cold and got tired easily while taking care of my child. Yet, I had not thought of going home early every day to let her rest. Instead, I had enjoyed my time by myself so that I could do something that I liked to do, such as studying the Fa and sharing experiences with fellow practitioners. It seemed that I was being diligent, but as a matter of fact, I was being very selfish.

Here's another example. One day I took my daughter to a park. She repeatedly asked me, "Why aren't we there yet?" whenever I told her our next destination. I told her that every step that we took would eventually take us there, and that was the only way that we could get there. Yet, she still would not stop. Suddenly I realized that, perhaps, Master was sending me a hint. After searching inside myself, I found out that when I did the three things, I had been pursuing results. As long as people were willing to denounce their CCP (Chinese Communist Party) membership, I would feel relieved, as if I had just accomplished a task. Hence, my righteous thoughts became loose, and I did not look at matters from other people's perspectives. I could have further clarified the truth to them. With this thought, my daughter stopped mumbling her questions as well.

Lately I have been distracted by many current events, such as the Olympic Games and Tibetan issues. Because of that, I started to enjoy reading the news. The Internet worked well when I searched on the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net) ) with the software that helped me break through the Internet blockade, however, when I used it to search the news on the Dajiyuan website (Chinese version of Epochtimes.com), it would not work. Not knowing the reason behind it, I kept sending forth righteous thoughts to clear the field, but it was not very effective. Afterwards, my colleagues at the office started to be more and more enthusiastic on those topics. Their perspectives reflected the CCP propaganda. I tried to clarify the facts to them. After realizing that I was getting emotionally stirred up by my colleagues, I started to be on the alert: a practitioner's mentality should be calm and merciful; I should put myself in their shoes. Why couldn't I remain calm and compassionate? After searching inside myself, I found out that I was being influenced by ordinary human society's events. Master has told us, "...you shouldn't let your heart and mind bob about like duckweed......" ("On the Novel The Cosmos's Calamity") But I was not aware of that earlier.

Recalling the past many years of cultivation, I have learned that everything I see, hear, and feel has a direct influence on my mindset. It seems that what is on my mind is always reflected by others to let me see it. If I can realize this earlier and always look for the reasons behind everything, if my mind is righteous, I will speed up in my cultivation. At the same time, my precious time will not be wasted.

Living in this world, we easily develop human attachments. Of course, there are different kinds of attachments. We might easily indulge in some minor attachments. One day I asked my husband to buy me some coffee and soybean powder. I am addicted to coffee and the soybean powder is to make soybean milk for lunch to save time. However, he bought instant oatmeal and some other drink that I disliked. I felt uneasy even though I knew it was wrong. While clearing this thought, I asked myself, "If I had not been home, but out clarifying the truth, would I still be bothered by this? Would I still be this picky?" Certainly not. I would have been more understanding towards others because I might never see those people again. Yet the real situation is now that I have this family in this human world, it is not my real family. We are still "traveling around." Why don't I consider myself a traveler? When I do, I will treasure everybody and everything and treat them with compassion. My problem was I had considered myself a "person" and had taken things in this human world too seriously. As a result, I could not show my divine side.

Written on April 23, 2008

Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2008/4/24/177096.html

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