(Clearwisdom.net) Jealousy is a very strong attachment that all sentient beings have. The only difference is to what degree. During the early part of my cultivation, I experienced this strong attachment. I was not able to see the extent of my jealousy as an ordinary human being. Only because I started cultivation and started to truly look within was I able to detect this attachment. I always believed that a person will only bear fruits for their efforts when one truly works hard for it. So, when I witnessed a fellow cultivator who has obtained more supernormal powers, see more clearly and experience more than I, I felt unbalanced and had a heavy heart. This fellow cultivator had started cultivation much later than me, and was not as diligent as me, so why did she have more abilities than me? Because of this and other forms of jealousy, we create barriers among ourselves.

After studying the Fa for some time, I was able to understand why. However, it is not an issue of not knowing the principles of the Fa but being able to wholeheartedly acknowledge them. Often times we know the principles but we are not able to control our emotions and honestly recognize and deny them. Only when we truly are able to acknowledge our attachments can we move forward on our cultivation path and get closer to returning home. As Teacher has stated:

"Why are some people born male and others female? And why are there differences in their looks? Some people are born with sickness or disfigured, so they're not all the same. When we look at it from a higher level, a person's whole life is laid out there in another dimension, so could people be the same? Everybody wants to be equal, but if something isn't part of your life, how could you be equal? People aren't the same." (Zhuan Falun, The Seventh Talk)

Each of us is unique in this life. It has to do with what we brought with us, our base. In the many different lives that we have had before, we have brought with us both virtue and karma. This determines what we have in this lifetime. I heard a fellow practitioner comment, "Well, that was my other lifetimes, how would I know if that is so?" It is not that we don't know, it is because of denial.

In the process of rectifying my thoughts on this issue, I realized that yes, I had been very diligent in practicing every day and studying the Fa, but I was doing it with pursuit and that was also an attachment in itself. Other attachments that I had discovered was the need to validate myself and the mentality of competitiveness. Because I have always been the achiever in my family, I was always praised by people around me. So upon seeing others doing better than me, I felt inadequate.

When we look within, we are able to find attachments. But if we trace it further and dig deeper, we will most definitely find more attachments. Attachments hidden deep down within us have become a part of us because we are immersed in this demoralized society, where humans have lost the true measure of right and wrong. Our attachments resemble a bunch of grapes. Each grape resembles an attachment and when we trace it to the very end to the vine, or, our "self", we find that they are all manifestations of selfishness.

Thus, after a period of truly studying and practicing, Teacher has given me encouragement in my dreams.

Here, I would like to encourage fellow practitioners to be more diligent and strict with ourselves because if we do not put forth the heart to cultivate ourselves, we are deceiving no one but ourselves.

This is my limited understanding, please correct me for any inappropriateness.