(Clearwisdom.net) This is a small portion of the suffering I've experienced over the past five years. I was arrested and held at a mental hospital for more than 30 days. During that period of time I suffered a mental collapse as a result of the drugs they administered, and lost the ability to control myself. I was physically injured and mentally affected. Later, I was gradually restored to health with the patient help of other Falun Dafa practitioners.
In March 2000, I went to Beijing to appeal in accordance with the law and was forcefully escorted to the Hongshan Number 5 Mental Hospital by local policemen and township government officials.
At the time several Dafa practitioners were already being detained at the mental hospital. We clarified the truth to the doctors, telling them that we were Falun Gong practitioners, not mental patients. However, these so-called doctors said, "Going to Beijing is a symptom of mental illness." They refused to listen to us and gave us injections every day that caused damage to the central nervous system.
The mental hospital didn't allow Falun Gong practitioners to congregate, not even in the restroom. Whenever the head nurse saw two practitioners together, she'd viciously say, "It seems to me that you want to receive some treatment (referring to high voltage electric shock)." She would drag practitioners away and give them electric shocks without listening to their explanations. The practitioners' blood-curdling screams were heart breaking.
After about 20 days, I began to have problems seeing clearly, I had no sense of hunger or thirst, and my memory began to fade. My family and village government officials noticed these symptoms and were worried, so they went to the hospital to request my release. The hospital staff refused the request. Finally, they found an influential person to help arrange my discharge. The hospital released me only after I'd been illegally detained for 30 days and my family paid 3,000 yuan in extortion money.
The day after I returned home, I struggled to go up the mountain to help my family plant trees. That evening I began to tremble; I was terribly upset and felt uneasy. When the practitioners who'd come to see me saw me trembling, they offered to practice the exercises with me. After a few minutes, however, I couldn't continue due to my uneasiness. I had to get out. My mental state was changing from clear-headed to disoriented and then from disoriented to clear-headed. Whenever I saw a well I wanted to jump in, but later I'd decide not to jump. When I became too uncomfortable I wanted to die again, but after awhile I would remember that it is a sin to commit suicide. In this state of near-insanity, I drank a big bottle of rat poison. I writhed in pain for four hours before my family realized what was going on and sent me to the hospital.
When my husband realized I was seriously ill, he phoned my son to ask him to come visit me. It was his colleagues who received the call. They confirmed that he'd run away in June and there'd been no news of him since. Because my husband missed our son and I'd spent our savings treating my illnesses, he often became so angry with me that he beat me or verbally abused me.
Due to losing my ability to practice, and suffering intense pain as well as missing my son, I was bathed in tears all day long. The feeling was beyond description. I believed there was no way to save myself but to practice Dafa. However, I couldn't do it myself, so I discussed it with my husband (since the persecution started in July 20, 1999, he wouldn't allow me to contact other practitioners). He said, "Whatever you decide is fine with me as long as you don't spend any more money."
I asked fellow practitioners to help me. They read the Fa to me. However, I would want to run away after less than 20 minutes. They patiently stopped me again and again, and with the mighty power of Dafa I was able to calm down before long. I would fall asleep for a while after studying the Fa for a period of time. When I woke up I would continue to study. Day in and day out, practitioners were with me for more than 30 days before I was able to study the Fa and practice the exercises by myself.
From then on, no matter how difficult it was, I would persist in studying and reciting the Fa, and practicing the exercises. My health improved day by day. In less than six months Teacher had snatched me from the jaws of death. Ever since then, I've had only one thought, that even if heaven falls down and the earth splits open, I will steadfastly cultivate Dafa. With the compassionate care of Teacher and firm belief in Dafa, I'm able to walk the path of Fa-rectification to this day. I am so grateful to Teacher and Dafa.
