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Eliminating Attachments Is Not Difficult

April 08, 2009 |   By a practitioner in China

(Clearwisdom.net) Today after I read the article entitled "Balancing Family Relationships in Cultivation" posted in "Minghui Weekly," I was deeply touched by the great compassion and tolerance displayed by fellow practitioners within their family lives.

I was married in 2004, and my father-in-law and mother-in-law are both Dafa practitioners, so I eventually also obtained the Fa. Because of my poor enlightenment quality, even though I read Zhuan Falun every day, I understood only the principle,

"Throughout the whole course of cultivation we should lose all those attachments and different desires that ordinary people have. " (Zhuan Falun)

I told myself I should let go of my attachments. Every day I read Master's Fa regarding Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance being the sole criterion to discern good and bad people. I read it every day, but I didn't read it with my heart. I didn't know how to cultivate myself by following Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.

My husband has a bad temper. He becomes angry easily and doesn't know how to care about others. He never cares about me and we have nothing in common. We argue whenever we speak to each other. Every time I saw a young couple talking and caring for each other, the attachments of admiration, jealousy, and grievance all arose.

After I began cultivating, I came to understand that this was all caused by my karma, and I no longer pursued the attachment of being affectionate with my husband. I believe sentimentality should be given up by practitioners. Isn't it better not to have sentimentality? So every day, I studied the Fa and did the exercises, and didn't ask about him. No matter how tired he seemed after coming home from work, I didn't care about him. I didn't have compassion for him in the least. Sometimes when he lost his temper, I asked myself to be tolerant, but I did not have compassion. That is why it was very difficult for me to endure. Sometimes when he lost his temper, I was happy that he was giving me virtue. As a practitioner, don't I want to have virtue? I tried hard not to argue with him, but when I felt it was too difficult to endure, I thought, "I would rather not have virtue, I would rather fight with him." As a result, I fought with him, but I regretted it afterward. Sometimes I knelt down in front of Master's picture and shed tears, "Master, how can cultivation be so miserable?"

My father-in-law and mother-in-law are very kind. Just because my father-in-law is very old and doesn't make much money, my mother-in-law viewed money as very important. At home, whatever they want to buy, they ask me to pay for it. This angered me, and I couldn't help thinking that for other households, when their daughter-in-law got married, their parents-in-law gave them a lot of money. When I got married, they gave me so little money and I needed to pay their debts. I didn't want to be pre-occupied with my personal gains and losses, but they still asked me to spend more money. The money my husband made was only enough for us to spend. I used the declined moral standard to evaluate my thoughts and actions. I understood that practitioners should not be attached to money, but I just felt wronged. Every time I gave some money to my mother-in-law, superficially I didn't say a thing, but inside I was unbalanced. I didn't follow at all: "To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator." (From Essentials for Further Advancement)

Today after reading a fellow practitioner's article, "Balancing Family Relationships in Cultivation," I understood how badly I had done. How can we all study the same Fa, and yet I cultivate so poorly? In the article, the practitioner mentioned, "Once I used my bicycle to transport my mother-in-law to see a doctor. I didn't eat and I was having my period. But without a second thought, I transported my mother-in-law on my bicycle. Although I was tired, I felt happy. For the first time, I experienced that if you put others first, you will be very happy, without pain."

Master told us,

"...whenever you have issues with other people you first think about whether they can take it or whether it will cause them harm, then you won't have any problem. So, when you cultivate you should follow high and even higher standards." (Zhuan Falun)

Now I understand that for so many years I have been passively enduring, without actively cultivating. Master, in talking about smoking, mentioned:

"Some people also know that it is not good, but they just cannot quit. In fact, let me tell you that they do not have correct thoughts to guide themselves, and it will not be easy for them to quit that way." (Zhuan Falun)

After understanding this principle in action, I have asked myself to think about others whenever I can. For example, whenever my husband finishes his job, I can be very gentle and considerate towards him. I will serve him a meal and water. I thought about the fact that my husband works so hard every day to make money for the sake of two households, and he never complains. How difficult it is and how hard he works. When I think of this, I know naturally how to care about him. When I see other couples who have so much in common, I now think, "Everyone has a different personality. My husband does not like to talk. How can I insist that he be perfect?" I don't have a single feeling of jealousy or grievance. On the contrary, I feel that my husband is good and I feel warm-hearted. My husband now also treats me very well.

In terms of money I no longer argue with my mother-in-law. I always think, "My mother-in-law has brought up her two sons, and it is not easy for her to have daughters-in-law. She is now so old, so where can she go to make money?" If she doesn't ask for money from us, where else could she go and ask for money? Even though my husband doesn't make much money, Master asks us to be unselfish. Even though I don't spend money, I will give money to my parents-in-law. So whenever my mother-in-law asks me to buy something for the family, I will go and buy it without complaint. After I learned the principle of thinking about others, I easily let go of this attachment.

Regarding the people who treated me poorly when I tried to persuade them to quit the CCP-related organizations, I still felt a little bit moved. After reconsidering, I thought, "For a person who has been deceived by the evil Chinese Communist Party for so many years, it's very difficult to accept the truth. He was deceived by the lies and didn't know about the truth. He didn't know that Falun Dafa was so good. How can I complain about this person?" When a fellow practitioner was struck by a car, Master said, "The driver indeed drove the car too fast, but how could he possibly hit someone on purpose? Didn't he do it unintentionally?" (Zhuan Falun)

When I see that sentient beings can't accept the truth and are being poisoned by the evil Party to such an extent, I feel worried and sad for them. The compassion makes me shed tears. When I think about others, my heart is enveloped with tremendous compassion, cultivated from Dafa. I feel my mind is so compassionate and comfortable and happy. I often think, "My compassionate and great Master, it is you who turned my dirty life into one so pure and clean. For this life to be your disciple, I feel so fortunate. Even the most beautiful words in this world cannot be enough to express my respect and thankfulness to you. I will try my very best to do the three things well." Only by maintaining these thoughts will I not let Master down in his compassionate saving of sentient beings.

Many of my attachments were caused by selfishness. If I really want to cultivate, I should cultivate by following Dafa. If I follow Dafa as a person who truly thinks of others before oneself, it is actually very easy to eliminate attachments. At that time, my mind is enlarged, without feelings of pain. I can now endure many things and not even feel that it is difficult.

Finally I want to say that it is not difficult to eliminate attachments.

The above is only some of my understanding. Please rectify it with compassion if there is anything improper.

Heshi