(Clearwisdom.net) I feel embarrassed to say that out of my 14 years of cultivation, almost 10 years were spent bogged down with family problems. My husband always blew up over minor things, blaming me. There was also some devilish xinxing friction between my daughter and me. I was convinced that I had been wronged and treated unfairly. I tried to swallow my painful feelings, but the tension between my husband and I remained for a long time.

A fellow practitioner and long-time acquaintance once came to share her cultivation experiences with me, so I told her about my painful feelings of being wronged. The practitioner quietly and wholeheartedly listened, and was not affected by my emotional stories of family troubles. I noticed that her attentiveness and concern had a forgiving air about it. Within her righteous field, my emotionally feelings of pity for myself gradually subsided. While telling her of my tribulations, I later became too embarrassed to continue.

Her compassionate forgiveness made me see myself, a Dafa practitioner, as being insufficient and falling behind. I realized I had never shown complete benevolence for others, let alone any compassion for my husband and daughter. I always thought I was better than others, only wanting to change others instead of myself. I was not unconditionally cultivating and looking within myself to the requirements of the Fa.

While sharing my experiences, Teacher's Fa clearly reflected in my mind,

"You should always maintain a heart of compassion and kindness. Then, when you run into a problem, you will be able to do well because it gives you room to buffer the confrontation. You should always be benevolent and kind to others, and consider others when doing anything. Whenever you encounter a problem, you should first consider whether others can put up with this matter or if it will hurt anyone. In doing so, there will not be any problems." ("Upgrading Xinxing," from Zhuan Falun)

Teacher also said,

"I also want to tell you that your nature in the past was actually based on egotism and selfishness. From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism. So from now on, whatever you do or whatever you say, you must consider others--or even future generations--along with Dafa's eternal stability. ("Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature" from Essentials for Further Advancement)

With Teacher's Fa and fellow practitioner's help, I came to realize that my old selfish notions had enveloped me, trying to stop my xinxing from improving. When I began treating sentient beings, including my family members, with compassion from the bottom of my heart, I found that the so-called tribulations soon disappeared and my mind became calm and peaceful.

With the inspiration I obtained from the practitioner's help, I became more enlightened and knowledgeable on how to help others in need. I should have a pure heart and try to understand practitioners who are troubled, and make sure that what I do is completely for them. Directly telling practitioners that they should look within themselves isn't the proper way. Patiently listening with a compassionate heart, and allowing them the opportunity to tell you everything without fear of reprisal is a much better approach. This enables fellow practitioners to find their own attachments faster and with less pain, allowing them to rid themselves of their attachments and elevate their xinxing.

August 3, 2009