(Clearwisdom.net) Lately I have become concerned about my wife, who is also a Dafa practitioner. I noticed that she was not planning things well, not doing things based on the Fa principles, and not doing the three things well, and the list went on.
My wife is one of the local coordinators in our area. Recently, there were a lot of Fa-rectification things to do, including purchasing CDs, printers, and printer consumables, teaching fellow practitioners how to use the Internet, how to repair the engraving machine, and contacting practitioners' families to rescue imprisoned practitioners. Also, it was close to the Chinese New Year, so she had to prepare for the holiday. Many practitioners came to our home, and there have been many calls for her. But seeing this, I did not give her a hand. Rather, I blamed her for not being efficient and not managing her time well. I also pointed out to her that she used the wrong expressions several times.
The following day, I stayed at home. While listening to Teacher's lectures, I had an opportunity to look within. I found that I still had the attachment of proving myself. I thought I was very capable, and had the attachment of zealotry when doing things. However, after much thought, I still could not find the crucial point that led to my attachment, and the problem with my wife was still not resolved.
That evening, two fellow practitioners came to our home, wanting to discuss cultivation experiences with me, so this gave me an opportunity to mention my issue. They both agreed that it was my problem and that I needed to overcome it. They told me that I was very strict with people and had a high standard. I always asked my wife to follow my standards and requirements. I even asked other practitioners to follow them too. They also thought that I had placed too much emphasis on my own cultivation. I admitted that I was not compassionate enough, and when I was talking, I was not calm either. I had always told myself to contain my temper, and use the right expressions and mentality when talking with people. However, I could not control myself for long. During the discussion and experience sharing, both practitioners admitted that they too had blamed their family for many things. One of them even emphasized several times that he discovered that he had as many problems as I did, and that my irrational behavior was a mirror of his own. I suddenly realized that I had made a big mistake.
Since childhood, I had a frank manner and everything was always black-and-white. I had my own ways of doing things. I was very strict with my family members, and sometimes too much so. But I thought that only by doing so could I keep my perceived "high standards". I started practicing Falun Dafa with this notion. With studying the Fa and practicing cultivation, I gradually realized how high the standards and levels of Dafa were and how serious cultivation is. Also, in recent years, I saw how many practitioners were persecuted and how many material production sites were destroyed because fellow practitioners were not strict with themselves. I always thought the problems were because they were reluctant to give up their attachments, they did not upgrade themselves, and did not follow the Fa principles. Thus, I regarded some of the principles that I used before cultivation as valuable things, and kept them with me. I also considered what I did to be compliant with Teacher's teachings, "preserving the good part and removing the bad part" (Lecture 1, Zhuan Falun). During recent years, influenced by this notion, I always regarded doing things based on my old principles and standards as my good virtues, and I thought they contributed to my doing Fa-rectification things well. I even thought my principles were absolutely right. I never doubted whether this notion complied with the Fa. When fellow practitioners did not do things well based on my principles and standards, I would feel very uncomfortable. However, I never considered this to be my own problem. The Communist Party culture was buried in my notions.
As a Dafa practitioner, I should be tolerant, compassionate, and kind to fellow practitioners. I should consider others first before doing things. However, my notions took effect. Thus, when I was also mentioning "be calm, and be tolerant, compassionate, and kind to fellow practitioners", all my words were weak. Sometimes, I even forgot them completely. In fact, there are different requirements at different cultivation levels for different practitioners.
Through this opportunity to look within, I realized that there are different attachments at different cultivation levels. In fact most times, we succeed in doing things with some attachments. When it comes to the time that we need to get rid of those attachments and upgrade ourselves, we must discard those attachments and move forward. Only in this way can we upgrade ourselves and complete the next task. We must conform to the requirements of Dafa. We should not use our own human notions and standards to judge things. The only criterion is Dafa. Therefore, we should keep studying the Fa, and attain enlightenment from the Fa. Many attachments are deeply rooted in the aspects of ourselves that we think we are good at, thus we don't want to abandon them. In other words, the advantages and good virtues that we are proud of are not always compliant with the principles of Dafa. If we consider them as being on par with Dafa principles, then it is very difficult for us to realize our attachments, so we cannot do a good job of saving sentient beings. Most times, attachments are hidden in those aspects of ourselves that we think we are good at.
This is based on my own cultivation level. If there is anything improper, please point it out.
