(Clearwisdom.net) I have been practicing Falun Dafa for 15 years and I have lots of thoughts. During the Fa-rectification period I did not do well, and I was persecuted several times. I feel that I am not qualified to write experience sharing articles. I will be gratified if this article can bring any inspiration to fellow practitioners.
1. Reject old force arrangements
In the summer of 2004, I had strong attachments, in particular I did not want to give up my attachment to lust. One night in a dream I was put in a forced labor camp for a year and did not know what to do. A month later, I was indeed put in a forced labor camp, for a year and a half.
In the beginning of 2006, when I was released from the camp, my wife told me that Teacher had given many lectures about the persecution by the old forces, and I needed to study them well. She wanted me to do nothing at home after work but read Teacher's recent lectures; to study them repeatedly until I thoroughly understood them. So I did, letting my wife do all the homemaking.
Four months later I had a vision. I felt that I was sitting in an empty space. The house and all the furniture around me disappeared. On the horizon, my left-hand side was crowded by the gods of old forces and on my right-hand side was Teacher alone. In front of me the air was filled with gods who kept silent and looked at me. I knew that they were waiting for me to make my choice. I said steadfastly in my mind: "I want to only follow Teacher's arrangements and nothing else. Nothing arranged in history by the old forces stands."
On the night of April 21, 2006, a fellow practitioner spread the message that the CCP was going to arrest people on April 25 again and my name was on the list, so he told me to be careful. After getting home, I bagged up my Falun Dafa books and hid them away outside. Then I felt that this was not right. "How could I do it this way? Wasn't I waiting for them to come? Wasn't I asking for it? No. I believe in Teacher. Teacher will protect me." So I took the books back home that night.
The next morning, half awake, I had a vivid dream. In an old, dim palace, stood a table, an elderly man, a servant and me. The elderly man told the waiter: "Bring over the documents he signed." The servant brought over three scrolls of yellow silk that looked like the ones used by Emperors in issuing a decree. I unrolled them. One said that I should be beaten to death; another described how I should spoil the Fa in the Fa-rectification period; the third one described how I should spoil the Fa before July 20, 1999 (No wonder I had many bad thoughts before July 20. Luckily I overcame them.) I could hardly keep on reading. How evil are the old forces! They have made such thorough arrangements.
I threw the scrolls on the table. The elderly man asked me: "How about it? You signed them all"- implying that I needed to carry them out. I said categorically, "I don't recognize them. I have put my life and death aside." Then I woke up. I told my wife and she said happily: "Congratulations. You rejected the old forces' arrangements." After that, I was able to walk my cultivation path righteously. I hope that other practitioners who have been persecuted will settle down and read Teacher's lectures since July 20, 1999. The Fa will inspire you.
2. Thoughts about practitioners who have passed away
In recent years, many practitioners around me passed away, among them many whom had cultivated pretty well. Why did this happen? How should we look at this?
I have one experience that may help fellow practitioners. At the beginning of 2006, I again steeled my will to cultivate after I was released from detainment. In the dream, a pair of hands reached into my chest to pull my heart out. It hurt badly. I took the heart in my hands and would not let go, saying: "This is my heart. I will not let you take it." As I was getting tired, I yelled: "Save me, Teacher." When I woke up, it felt that my chest was swollen, and painful inside. A few days later, it happened again.
Another practitioner who was persecuted in a forced labor camp for three years told me that after he was released, he heard a voice in a dream: "You have reached consummation. You can go now." He felt excited, but then he thought: "No, I cannot go. I have not finished my mission yet." Think about it. If we could not maintain our righteousness in our dreams, both he and I might have died. That may leave fellow practitioners puzzled and create misunderstandings for sentient beings, harming Dafa's reputation. As a matter of fact, those who have passed away may have many different reasons and we do not have to worry about them. We just have to remember: "I am not afraid of dying, but I cannot go. The Fa-rectification is not over yet, I will follow Teacher to leave after the Fa-rectification is over."
How should we treat practitioners who are in tribulations? I have an experience that I would like to share. Of course how a practitioner in tribulation enlightens and acts are the most important. I just want to talk about how others next to him or her should view this.
One day, my wife, also a practitioner, suddenly had a tribulation. She was in so much pain that she was turning in bed. She did not eat or drink for days and as soon as she drank any water she would throw up so badly that the bedding, sweater, and pants were all wet. The rumbling sound from her belly was quite loud. I sat by the bed and sent forth righteous thoughts for her around the clock. In the meantime, I focused on one thought: Teacher will help her when it is most difficult for her. No matter how badly she tossed and turned and yelled, my mind was calm and settled, and focused on sending forth righteous thoughts. There were a few times I was complaining in my mind: "Why didn't you cultivate yourself diligently?" As soon as I had those thoughts, she cried even harder. A few minutes later, I sensed that the thoughts of practitioners around her are very important. Four days later, her tribulation subsided and she improved. She began eating after a week, and totally recovered after another week. A life-and-death tribulation was over.
During that week, aside from getting up early to do the exercises, all her time was used to listen to Teacher's Fa recordings. She persisted although she could hardly stand and her whole body was in extreme pain when she stretched her hands in the exercises. She told me later that it felt as though many knives were churning or a saw was going back and forth in her belly. She did not fear death, but she was afraid that if she died, she would harm Dafa. She might confuse people and hamper their chance of being saved. So during the time she was in the most pain she asked me: "Am I going to harm Dafa if I die?" I said: "Yes." Then she said in her mind: "Teacher, I will not die no matter how painful it is, and by all means I will endure my tribulations and follow you home." She says that one's righteous thoughts are the most important. Whether you put yourself or Dafa and sentient beings in first place is the key to determining if you can stay.
While the thoughts of practitioners who are experiencing tribulations are very important, I realize that so too are the thoughts of those of us who are around them. When we criticize those who are enduring tribulations, we are essentially siding with the evil to persecute them.
I am writing this in hope of inspiring practitioners who are faced with similar situations. Please point out my deficiencies when you see them.
