(Clearwisdom.net) I first learned Falun Dafa on April 25, 1999, but actually did not practice it seriously until 2000. When I took up coordination of truth-clarification tasks, I positioned myself as a particle in the whole body of Dafa practitioners, rather than as someone who was higher than fellow practitioners and gave instructions to others on what to do. I followed Dafa's principles closely, and did not seek acknowledgement from practitioners or others. Striving to assist Master in the Fa-rectification was my only goal. At that time, my coordinating work with fellow practitioners went smoothly. However, as time went by, I studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts less and less. I strayed from Dafa's standards and increasingly did Dafa work just for the work’s sake. I pursued fame and reputation, and regained lots of sentimental attachments. Eventually, another coordinator confronted me and said my position was no longer needed. Feeling mistreated, I returned the equipment for doing Dafa work and the key to the rented office (which was also my residence at the time because I had been forced into a homeless situation by the persecution), and left the place where I had been cultivating for several years.
This tremendous tribulation occurred to help me get rid of my attachments and my thoughts that had been distorted in the human world. The tribulation became the basis of my cultivation path. Every time when I looked back, I identified some attachments or shortcomings of mine. This was like removing the obstacles on my path, one at a time. The more obstacles removed, the broader my heart, and the more tolerant I became. I learned to assist other practitioners in their tasks, learned to look within, and learned to truly cultivate myself. Looking within was the key to solving all conflicts and also the way to achieve good collaboration with other practitioners. Examining myself also helped me become selfless and consider others in all aspects.
Right after I left the coordination position, I found that cultivation was really hard, because examining myself and admitting my own mistakes was a painful process. I was confused and felt weak in understanding the Fa. Sometimes I looked within myself just for the sake of looking within or for the purpose of obtaining immediate solutions to emerging problems. I also looked for mistakes that other practitioners might have made and felt that I had not been treated fairly. I forced myself to swallow my complaints and sometimes I even cried because I believed I could not change. That was not genuinely looking within.
Coordination work among practitioners is not easy, but not because practitioners are incapable of working together. Quite the opposite, all practitioners are able to accomplish anything as long as we have righteous thoughts. The challenge of coordination is that we are Dafa practitioners who are still walking down the path of cultivation. The human notions that we have acquired since we were born are obstacles to be removed. Our cultivation goals and obstacles are two sides of a coin. This is the same for coordinators and others. If there were no reasons related to cultivation for us to be in a certain situation, Master would not have arranged us to be there. However, oftentimes we think it is someone else’s problem, and so we focus on helping others look within. In order to help us recognize and get rid of our heart of jealousy and other attachments, Master may place a practitioner who is seemingly incapable of doing anything to be the coordinator.
Many practitioners have been working hard to expose the evil. In spite of the severe persecution, they have overcome numerous tribulations and interference from other dimensions. However, they are affected by conflicts among fellow practitioners. It is difficult to untangle the multiple layers of interactions that led to the conflict and tell absolute right or wrong. Only when we are able to let go of selves, can we reach a higher level and experience the profound nature of cultivation. As Dafa practitioners in the Fa-rectification period, we know that the self is nothing compared to Dafa and the mission of saving sentient beings. Without Dafa and Master, there will be no universe, let alone ourselves.
Thus, it is not that coordination is difficult; it is that eliminating our attachments is difficult. Even interference and conflicts are not able to affect us as much as our attachments in the process of Fa-rectification. In letting go of the self, we will find wisdom in the Fa, and in turn, miracles.
