One Year After I Returned to Dafa
(Clearwisdom.net) I began to practice Falun Gong in 1997. At that time my understanding of the Fa was superficial, and I was mainly interested in being a good person. After the persecution began in 1999, I stopped practicing out of fear. On June 2, 2010, I returned to Dafa. Now I would like to report to Master and fellow practitioners my cultivation experience since my return a year ago.
Starting Fa Study Group
On June 2, 2010, a practitioner named Anna helped me resume practicing Falun Gong. Soon the three of us formed a Fa study group (the third practitioner was also a newly returned practitioner). We gathered once a week, and read one lecture of Zhuan Falun together. We also discussed our understandings and experiences. I remember the first time we studied Zhuan Falun together, I felt like a long lost child returning home, and tears ran down my face. We also watched a video program, “We Tell the Future” which detailed the activities of Dafa practitioners clarifying the truth, resisting the persecution and saving people. I became determined to devote my life to doing the three things.
The first month after I returned to cultivation, I spent most of my time studying the Fa, doing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts. After one month, I could do the sitting meditation for 40 minutes in the double lotus position.
On July 18, I began to wake up at 3:45 a.m. to do the exercises, joining other practitioners in their early morning practice. I also began to send forth righteous thoughts at the four designated times every day.
When I told my husband that I had decided to return to Dafa he immediately voiced his opposition, but I didn't allow this to affect me. After eleven years of life away from Dafa, I had finally awakened. How could I not practice Falun Gong?
Every day, as soon as he came home, I told him the facts, not paying attention to his attitude. However, he refused to listen to anything about Falun Gong, and we hardly spoke to one another.
One day I told his colleague's wife about Falun Gong, and the colleague told my husband. As soon as he returned home, he started a fight with me, and even punched me. I did not fight back. I knew this was a test of my forbearance as I struggled to keep my calm demeanor.
By reading the Fa, I learned that whenever conflicts arise between a practitioner and a non-practitioner, the practitioner is always at fault. A practitioner must improve during tribulations. I looked inside and found that my real motive was not that pure. I wished that he would practice Falun Gong so he would no longer be opposed to my activities. My first thought was not for his benefit, and deep down, I saw my own selfish motive. I wanted to cultivate, and I also wanted to avoid conflicts with my husband. However, tribulations are opportunities for practitioners to relinquish their human mentalities.
I did not have enough compassion for him, and I exhibited a strong competitive mentality when telling him about Dafa. When I told him about the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) evil deeds, I was angry, and told him that Heaven would eliminate the CCP. My emotion made him remain skeptical.
I knew I had to improve myself through cultivation in order to save my husband. I needed to treat him no differently than anyone else. I calmed down and paid more attention to his needs. I also shared with him some supernatural phenomena revealed through scientific experimentation. Because he is an educated person, he believes in science. Gradually, our family environment got better.
As I progressed in cultivation and elevated my level, my physical health improved. My colleagues also told me that I was getting much kinder, and I looked better. I could feel myself changing, and becoming calmer. One day my husband invited his father and two uncles from his home village to live with us for a while. All three men are in their 70’s. In the past, I would have been uncomfortable with this. In addition to paying for their travel expenses, having three old men in our house meant more work for me. Now I am a practitioner, and I knew these men need to know the truth and I must save them.
I warmly welcomed them to our home. After my husband went to work the next day, I began to tell them the truth, and showed them some videos. I was surprised to learn that my father-in-law was a Communist Party member. Country people are simple and nice. They knew that I had their best interest in mind. My father-in-law agreed to quit the Party. The two uncles also agreed to memorize “Falun Dafa is Great” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.” I did their laundry and they were impressed with my hospitality. They praised me when calling their friends in the country. My husband was happy to see this. I told him that Master taught me to be a good person and follow Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
Seeing the changes in me, and how I became kinder after I resumed practicing, my husband realized that practitioners are good people. He later agreed to quit the Party and its affiliated groups. In March, 2011 we spent three days in his home village. After telling people the truth, I persuaded 28 people to quit the Party and other Communist organizations.
My husband no longer objects when I read Dafa books, exercise, or do other Dafa work. As long as we are righteous, people can see the goodness of Dafa. Practitioners cannot forget to validate the Fa in all circumstances.
Eliminate Attachments while Doing the Three Things
I was nervous when I began to tell the truth to strangers, so I decided to distribute Dafa flyers first. Even before I left home, my heart rate accelerated. The first time, I only carried two flyers. After a long time, I could not gather enough courage to even drop off one flyer. Discouraged, I went home. The flyers in my bag felt like a bomb. I knew something was wrong. I knew this is not right, but I just could not help feeling that way. Master told us: “The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
After studying the Fa, I gradually calmed down. I realized that the fear was taking control of my mind. I was afraid of being seen by acquaintances and I dreaded being reported to the police.
Dafa disciples’ mission is to assist Master to validate the Fa. I must overcome my fear. I invited practitioner Anna to distribute flyers with me.
We began to place flyers in mailboxes. Soon, I learned how to do the work with righteous thoughts. One day a person discovered what I was doing. I was able to send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil factors behind that person, and everything went smoothly. I could feel that Master is protecting us all the time. Soon, I relinquished several human mentalities, such as seeking comfort, and personal reputation.
I began to learn other truth clarification methods from fellow practitioners. In the evening, I wrote “Falun Dafa is good”, “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance” with a paint brush in public places, so people could see them. One day I walked a long time and wrote in many places. I kept telling myself: “I am a Dafa element, I am doing the most sacred task, and no one is qualified to interfere.” After returning home, I was fully energized and could study the Fa with full focus. I was so happy to be a practitioner.
In the beginning, I left flyers on bicycle baskets, car windshields, and at some business shops. Early this year, I felt that I should distribute flyers to people’s doorsteps. I had never gone to other residential areas before, and I worried about what to say if the security questioned me. Later I realized this was not a righteous thought. Master said:
"What's happening is that the cosmos is going through Fa-rectification. [What is taking place in] the human world is merely how low-level beings act when gigantic cosmic bodies are being impacted by the Fa-rectification. What could human beings possibly do to gods? If there were no outside factors, would humans dare to do anything to gods? How human society unfolds is nothing but the outcome of high-level beings controlling things." ("In Fa-Rectification Your Thoughts Have to be Righteous, Not Human" 2004)
I must maintain my dignity and courage while doing this most sacred thing.
The first time I entered a residential district, it was evening. The entire time I was there, I constantly sent forth righteous thoughts. My face was hot, my heart rate accelerated, but I overcame my fear. I found an unlocked security gate and went into the building. After I posted some flyers, I returned home safely.
After this, my fear subsided. I began to enter buildings with another practitioner during the day, when more security gates are open. Now we can go to these places any time of the day.
I also began to directly tell people the truth. I talked to taxi drivers, to students on the bus, and to senior citizens in the park. Every time I talked to people, I was able to convince one or two to quit the Party. One day, I managed to help five people quit, but I still sometimes felt awkward when talking to others.
After looking inside, I realized that I sometimes had a mentality of zealotry, and my mind was not pure. When I kept others' interests in mind, I was most effective. When I focused on encouraging people’s goodness, and told them about Dafa’s miracles, and told them the importance of quitting the Party and its affiliated organizations, people were willing to listen to the truth and be saved. If I had other human mentalities, such as showing off my knowledge, the effect was not good.
Relinquishing Fear and Establishing a Materials Center
In October 2010, I took over doing distribution previously done by an elderly practitioner. At the end of October, the elderly practitioner’s house was ransacked by the police. One practitioner (Anna) asked me to ask the other practitioners to send forth righteous thoughts. I felt very nervous. I had some contact with the elderly practitioner, and I wondered if she would inform the police about me. I was frightened by how close the persecution was to me. I knew I should completely deny the persecution, and I immediately informed several other practitioners. I went to Anna’s home and knocked on her door. There was no answer, but a young man appeared dressed like a secret police officer, holding a cell phone, wearing an ear phone. He stared at me for a while. My heartbeat surged, but I managed to keep my composure and quickly left the building. I thought her house was being monitored.
I was so scared that I did not dare to distribute flyers for two days. After I studied the Fa, I regained my composure. However, the next day when I woke up, I realized that I still had to fetch more materials from a printing center, my heart rate accelerated again, and I felt exhausted. I wondered if I should attend the next week’s group Fa study.
I talked to a practitioner, she said maybe I should wait for a while. That’s what I wanted to hear, so I decided not to distribute flyers for awhile.
After I studied the Fa more, I began to feel uneasy. Sitting at home, not contacting practitioners, this is what the evil old forces want: keep practitioners in isolation. This agrees with the old force’s arrangement. In “Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference”, Master stated,
“Now as practitioners, if in this tribulation you can manage not to acknowledge the old forces' arrangements, then you can make it through. And those who haven't done well, the bottom line is, aren't you acknowledging the old forces' arrangements? Once you acknowledge them isn't it like you're one of them? Because you haven't done well amidst the persecution it's caused instability among the practitioners and aggravated the persecution, so aren't you, too, adding fuel to the fire and helping the evil? Negate them, completely negate everything of the old forces!”
The safest thing to do is to do everything according to Dafa. Cultivators should follow the highest principles to guide their actions.
“If every Dafa disciple can think and act righteously as he goes about things and can look at things with righteous thoughts under any circumstance, none of you will become afraid when facing persecution. If that is how you are, who would dare to persecute you! If a person is completely in the Fa no one can touch him.” (“Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005”)
I decided to collect materials as usual, and attend the group Fa study just as though nothing had happened. Everything went smoothly. Later practitioner Anna told me that the young policeman was her neighbor’s son. He had forgot his key that day, and was waiting for his parents to give him the key. When he heard me knocking on the door, he thought it might be his parents and came out to check.
This experience helped me to get rid of a big part of my fear. I became more mature. At the end of November 2010, I began to have a wish to log onto Minghui.net (Chinese language version of Clearwisdom) and download Dafa material. That way I could make Minghui Weekly and other materials available to several other practitioners.
With the help of other practitioners, I bought a printer. A practitioner who specialized in computer technology helped me to install the system. I began to operate a materials center. From purchasing supplies to printing finished materials, I was able to do it all. Every week Anna and I went to residential buildings to distribute materials. Doing this helped me to abandon the pursuit of comfort, and I became more courageous.
Coordinate with Others
Master said in “Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles”,
“From the day that a Dafa disciple takes up cultivation his whole life is rearranged. In other words, this life of yours is now the life of a cultivator. Nothing is by chance anymore, and nothing will happen just by chance. Everything on your life's journey is directly related to your improvement and cultivation.”
By chance, I met the technical expert practitioner again. He was looking for practitioners to participate in a project, so I began to help with a new project.
By participating in this project, I realized other practitioners all have their bright spots. Now this project is making good progress.
Master said in “Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference”:
"For Dafa disciples as a whole, in the process of validating the Fa, when you work together in concert, the Fa power is great. Whether you're doing things as a group or doing things individually, what you're doing is the same kind of thing, and that's what we mean by one entity.”
I saw my own shortcomings: I need to become more tolerant of others and relinquish my self-centered mentality.
I saw some practitioners doing a lot of good work in clarifying the truth. But they ignored their personal cultivation. As a result, some of them were troubled by sickness karma. Some practitioners could not rectify their family environment because of sentimentality. They experienced a lot of interference from home. I realized we should all remind and encourage each other.
After I improved my understanding, a local coordinator invited me to participate in a small group sharing, and I also became a coordinator.
Master taught us in “Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa”: “You must study the Fa well, for that is the fundamental guarantee that you return to your position.”
We decided to help other practitioners to form Fa study groups. We plan to communicate with practitioners who experience severe tribulations. We will form a righteous environment that can motivate all practitioners. All practitioners who stay within Dafa are remarkable. When we help others, we also improve our own cultivation.
I will not disappoint Master’s expectations, and will try to keep my righteous thoughts in all circumstances. I will do my best to study the Fa and work with other practitioners to save more people.