(Clearwisdom.net) A few days ago we had a sharing among local coordinators. Practitioner A brought up problems with practitioner B, and shared his suspicion that B might be a spy. Practitioner A further suggested that for the safety of the entire group, that in future B should not be involved in coordination work. Practitioner A asked everyone at the meeting to vote. I voted yes. However when practitioner C (a district coordinator) commented that through his working experience with B, he found B did not look within, or do things based on the Fa, I was instantly fed up. In my opinion, it was the district coordinator, practitioner C, who hadn't looked within for a long time. I felt his cultivation state had caused contradictions and trouble in the overall coordination in that district and caused his district to be the one that experienced the worst persecution. But this was only the beginning of the conflict. Practitioner D who was also a district coordinator continued the criticism and further suggested that B should not be included in group Fa study. I rejected the idea: I felt that before we could confirm that B was indeed a spy, it was inappropriate to exclude B completely. I felt it would have a negative impact on local practitioners, and create a loophole for the evil. Nevertheless the four of them all insisted on my taking a holistic view and being on their side. I could no longer control my temper so I raised my voice. I told them that their way of doing things wasn't based on the Fa and that if handled improperly, it would cause serious consequences. We broke up our sharing in discord.

I felt bad after I got home. I looked within and realized that I was still very much self-centered and had a problem accepting opinions that differed from mine. I further searched within my heart and found a hidden attachment to fame. When I received positive or negative feedback from fellow practitioners, although I superficially listened and accepted it by saying that I would look within, in my heart I secretly just listened to the positive comments, but filtered out the negative ones. To protect myself, I used human notions to create sub-groups. This had already caused significant interference to the overall coordination work in our local area. If I didn't wake up now, the consequences would be fatal. Master taught us:

“Those who are attached to their reputations practice an evil way, full of intention. Once they gain renown in this world, they are bound to say good but mean evil, thereby misleading the public and undermining the Fa.” (“Cultivator's Avoidances”, Essentials for Further Advancement)

Not long ago local coordinator(s) sent out a notice to send forth righteous thoughts as a whole group. The idea was later aborted after some practitioners pointed out its inappropriateness. However the damage was done, and the local practitioners had fluctuated. The notice was clearly not based on the Fa. Why did the coordinator(s) send out the notice without a second thought? The behavior of following people instead of the Fa was a wake up call to the individuals involved, as well as to the coordination we did for the entire group.

The local area I belonged to consists of more than a dozen districts, most of which had formed Fa study groups and had stable district coordinators. Each district coordinator further created several groups for Fa study and project coordination.

Years ago we had several incidents of coordinators being abducted by the authorities, and one of these coordinators still has not been released to this date. Through sharing we found many problems in our coordination work, such as placing ourselves above others. Had the practitioner let human notions take over, he or she would put the coordination work of the entire area at risk. To mitigate the risk, a few project coordinators (including myself) decided to meet regularly. At first we studied the Fa together. As everyone got busy, we canceled our Fa study and only met for project discussions. Although it was not published, the existence of an overall 'core' team was known by many district coordinators and they later on acknowledged it. Since the members of the 'core' team lacked group sharing and Fa study for a long time, the way they did things gradually deviated from the Fa. For instance, the attachment to flattery, inter-dependency, intolerance of different opinions, inflating one's sense of self-importance, failure to look within when dealing with conflicts....Sometimes I personally felt something was wrong with the way we did things. Yet for the sake of protecting myself and fame, I chose to protect the 'core' team. Whenever I did something positive and received praise from fellow practitioners, I indulged in complacency, showing-off and egotism. These attachments had grown to the point where I would agree on something although I knew it was clearly not based on the Fa. Now when I think of it, I shiver with fear at the possible consequences. I was dragged away by my attachment to fame, moving further and further away from the Fa.

The above sharing is a lesson from my own experience. I wanted to write it down to share with others. Please kindly point out anything improper.