(Clearwisdom.net) From the time when I first had an awareness of the world around me, I often asked myself, "Why are we here? What is the purpose of all this effort and struggle? Doesn't a person's body turn into dust when he dies, no matter how successful he is? Aren't all of his plans, suffering and hardships completely meaningless?” Without an apparent reason, I would often be moved and feel a deep sense of sadness by the thought that even a powerful person must have the feeling that he has nothing. To sum up my feelings back then, no matter how great a person's wealth is, no matter how much he has suffered or toiled, he will ultimately be completely disappointed, because in the end it will amount to nothing.

It seemed like a fortuitous opportunity when I began practicing Falun Dafa. At first my world was deeply shaken. I developed the attachment of obtaining benefits from practicing. I did not give up the attachments to fame, profit and qing and added the attachment of benefiting from Dafa. This originated from the selfishness of the old universe and not getting rid of the attachment to greed. I regarded cultivation as a kind of investment, as a way of making a big profit with a small investment.

Ordinary people's investments give them benefits that last only a few decades at most, whereas practitioners' investments give them benefits that affect the origin of their existence. I had a huge attachment to greed and this was a huge loophole. During Fa-rectification cultivation, this attachment manifested itself in many ways. One day I gave up the opportunity to go out and have fun, and instead I participated in group Fa study. I said to myself, "What benefit is there to going out and having a good time? I will raise my level if I participate in group Fa study." When I urged a person to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party, I said to myself, "Master will give me a lot of things because I helped Master rectify and Fa and saved a person." When I helped fellow practitioners print materials, I said to myself, "Master will see that I have helped other practitioners, won't I earn virtue?" When I published articles on Clearwisdom, I said to myself, "The articles regarding the lessons I learned through my cultivation will encourage and inspire other practitioners to help rectify the Fa. Won't part of this virtue be mine?" And on and on. Whenever I did something, I had the attachment of how I would benefit from it. This was apparent in every aspect of my life and work. This was hidden very deeply within me.

Because of this very strong attachment to greed, as well as other attachments such as lust, jealousy and hatred that I had not gotten rid of in the course of my cultivation, the old forces were able to take advantage of these loopholes and persecute me. In 2008, I was illegally arrested and forced to do labor. While I was in the forced labor camp, those practitioners who had been “transformed” used this logic against me, "Your greed is huge and yet you want to attain enlightenment and have eternal life and happiness?" On the surface it appeared that I was practicing, but in reality I was using Dafa. The purpose of cultivation is to remove attachments, such as greed, but I was trying to take advantage of Falun Dafa to satisfy my greed.

Master said:

“To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments.”(Zhuan Falun)

I hope that by writing this article, I and other practitioners who have similar attachments and bad thoughts will be able to wake up and be more vigilant. Cultivation is serious, and we must truly cultivate ourselves.