(Clearwisdom.net) On the Clearwisdom website, we frequently see many practitioners sharing their experiences about memorizing the Fa. This made me deeply reflect. In recent years, through Fa study, memorizing the Fa and a combination of both, I have benefited greatly and my mind nature or xinxing has improved. I wish to share my experiences with everyone.
I began cultivating in October 1997 and I also started a practice site. When the persecution started in July 1999, there were almost thirty practitioners coming to the practice site. Many of my relatives and friends also practiced Falun Dafa. However after the persecution began, many people were frightened and stopped practicing.
My family and relatives listened to the regime's lies, and gave up. I discussed with fellow practitioners how to clarify the truth and put up banners. Because I refused to give up my spiritual belief, the evil 610 Office personnel followed me.
At the end of 2000, I was arrested and sent to a forced labor camp for one year and a half. When I returned home, as fellow practitioners around me were persecuted one after another, I dropped away from Falun Dafa and gradually relaxed my Fa study and practicing the exercises.
Later, in November 2006, I was distributing the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and was arrested and illegally detained by 610 Office personnel and taken to a brainwashing class for a few months, in an effort to pressure me to “transform.”
Why was I persecuted again by the evil? After Fa study, memorizing the Fa and looking inward, I realized that the main reason was that my mind wandered when I studied the Fa. Because I could not focus on the words, what I read did not go into my heart.
I realized that I had not let go of some of my fundamental attachments, and that they were interfering with me. For example, when I was in the forced labor camp, my workplace wanted to fire me. In my thoughts, there was the fear that they would fire me, and the fear that my family would not be able to take the blow. Furthermore, my aged mother was suffering from a critical illness and was frequently hospitalized. Especially in the past few years, although I persisted in doing the exercises, I studied Fa less frequently. When I tried to study the Fa, I would feel sleepy. I also found it difficult to quiet my mind down when I was meditating. I also felt that instead of eliminating my attachments, I was sinking deeper into the human world and my tribulations were becoming more severe.
I thought to myself that I don’t want to continue like this. I must persist in my cultivation, and not go along with the evil persecution. I knew that even though my cultivation was unstable, compassionate Master was still guarding me and I could feel Master’s Fashen still watching over me. After having these thoughts, it seemed that I was boosted with a lot of courage and energy. I started to look inward and to find my problem.
I started to study Fa with all seriousness. But in the beginning it was not easy, and I encountered major interference. After work I was busy marketing and preparing dinner. The time I could spend on Fa study was very short. I would also feel sleepy the moment I began to study the Fa. It seemed like everything was interfering with me, and I really could not study Fa at all! But Fa study is the foundation of our cultivation. If you did not study the Fa well, you will not be able to do the Three Things well.
I knew I had to overcome my situation. I decided to memorize the contents of Zhuan Falun within two years. In the beginning, it was really difficult. I would forget what I memorized when I moved on to the next paragraph. I also had interference in my mind and I could not calm my thoughts down. I decided to recite the Fa out loud. When thought karma interfered or I experienced interference from my surroundings, I would send righteous thoughts to eliminate them. Although my progress was very slow, and I could only memorize one paragraph each day, the Fa was etched into my heart.
As I gained a new understanding of the Fa principles, I was able to easily and clearly see some of my attachments and it was also easy to eradicate them. In just a few months, I could feel major improvements in my xinxing. I could pass tribulations very easily. I was also able to calm my thoughts down during meditation. I was unmoved and persisted in memorizing the Fa. Although my progress was slow initially, it subsequently became smoother.
After almost one year of memorizing the Fa, my cultivation state became better and better. I now have these understandings:
When I am guided by the Fa principles and use them to measure everything I encounter, I can clearly see my attachments and I can eradicate them. In the past the quality and quantity of my Fa study was poor, my human attachments filled my head. When I had difficulties or tribulations, I did not use the Fa as a basis for making judgements. Thus my tribulations got bigger and the gap between fellow practitioners and myself became wider.
After memorizing the Fa, I was able to step over and overcome past tribulations that used to be difficult to pass. For example my attachment to lust used to be difficult to control. Now this attachment has become much smaller and I no longer have lustful thoughts at all. I was also less concerned about my personal gains and status. I no longer paid attention to my job status, whether I had pay increase or if I got a bonus.
In the past I always thought that my environment was not good. Because I only studied the Fa as though fulfilling a task, I did not understand that our environment needs us to improve, and that our environment is a reflection of our cultivation state.
My family members know that Falun Dafa is good, and practitioners are striving to be good people, so why did they still object to my studying the Fa and doing the exercises? I was also monitored at my work unit. Additionally, 610 Office personnel frequently came to harass me.
After studying the Fa and looking inward, I understood that this was because I did not have strong righteous thoughts, and I had not settled the matters in my environment properly. As I memorized the Fa, I could feel my environment continually changing. Things got better at my work place, and my family members no longer objected to my practicing Falun Dafa. The police stopped coming to harass me. I could also feel my attitude change - I was really using the requirements and principles of the Fa to require of myself as a responsible and genuine practitioner. After studying and memorizing the Fa, it was as though I now had a mirror that could show me what other filthy attachments I had so that I could eliminate them. As my xinxing improved, my surrounding environment also correspondingly changed.
Now besides memorizing the Fa, I continue regular Fa study without missing a single day. I read Zhuan Falun as well as Master's other lectures.
Fa-rectification has come to the final stage, there is no time for us to waste. Let us study Fa well and be diligent in our cultivation. If there is anything inappropriate in my understanding, please compassionately point it out.
