(Clearwisdom.net) For the past few years, I have been repeatedly tested as to whether I have any attachment to fear. I feel I must upgrade my xinxing in order to completely prevail over fear.

At first, I didn't think I had a lot of fear because I had enough courage to talk about Falun Gong and the persecution with strangers and even police officers and even hand out truth-clarification materials. Finally I had a reality check in 2003.

That year my husband was sentenced to a forced labor camp for three years because he is a Falun Gong practitioner. In addition, there were constant forced brainwashing classes in my community where residents, whether they have stopped practicing Falun Gong or not, were forcibly taken. Pressure from my family and the society raised fear in me.

I don't know where it came from or how it started. Whenver I heard police or ambulence sirens, I would tremble in fear, even when I was just sitting at home. One day I finally asked myself, "Why am I scared? I have not done anything bad. I am not a bad person. I am trying to save people from the lies of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I am doing the greatest, the most sacred thing." I tried to reinforce my righteous thoughts repeatedly until the fear subsided.

One day I had just distributed truth-clarification materials when I saw a police car on the street. I asked myself, "Are you afraid of the police car? What is there to be afraid of? Why should a Falun Gong practitioner fear rotten demons [from other dimensions that cause fear]?"

One day I went out to distribute copies of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. I stopped at an intersection when I heard sirens from several police cars. There were many copies of the Nine Commentaries in my bicycle's basket at the time. But I was not scared at all. I decided that evil elements from other dimensions arranged for the police cars to scare me. I would go on my way and the police would go on their way. After I crossed the street, the police cars stopped the sirens. Another day I stopped at an intersection. I had many copies of the Nine Commentaries with me when several police sirens could be heard nearby. It was really like what Teacher had said,

"If you have fear, they will grab you
Once your thought is righteous, evil will collapse"
("What's There to Fear" from Hong Yin II)

After repeated tests, I gradually regained the courage to talk to strangers about Falun Gong. One day I approached a stranger on the streets. I walked up to him and said, "How are you? Do you have a DVD player at home?" "Yes, I do." "Is it a VCD or DVD player?" "It's a DVD player." I gave him a DVD containing programs about Falun Gong. He asked, "Is it a Falun Gong DVD?" I said, "What's wrong with Falun Gong?" He said he dared not watch Falun Gong DVDs. I told him, "What's to be afraid of? Why don't you watch it and decide for yourself what Falun Gong is about. Wait until you watch the DVD to pass judgement." "Okay. I will watch it." He accepted the DVD, thanked me and parted.

Fear is a substance.

People are driven by fear instilled by the CCP and are too afraid to learn the truth about Falun Gong. They are completely enveloped in the CCP's lies. Poor souls! If Falun Gong practitioners are also afraid to spread the truth about Falun Gong, then countless people will be poisoned by the CCP's lies and lose their chance for salvation. This would be our biggest regret. We should upgrade our xinxing level and be compassionate towards the world's people. We must overcome fear, walk on the path Teacher has arranged for each of us and fulfill our prehistoric pledge.

This concludes my recent humble insights. Please kindly point out anything you might find inappropriate in my personal understandings.