(Clearwisdom.net) Since beginning my practice of Falun Gong in 1996, I have met with many trials and tribulations. However, by following Teacher, I have come a long way and my understanding of the Great Way of the universe has elevated. Although my understanding and personal level is still very limited, I have already experienced the magnificence of the Fa. When I am immersed in the Fa, my thoughts are righteous and divine and I feel wonderful. Teacher has guided me every step of the way, and my understanding of my role and mission has grown. With a solid faith in Teacher and Dafa, it has become second nature for me to look within whenever there is a problem.
I. Strengthen Righteous Thoughts Amid Tribulations in the Family Environment
Until recently, I did not realize that practitioners must do well in their family environments. I was not acting like a true practitioner at home and had many human notions. I behaved as an ordinary person and as a result, the evil took advantage of me. One day, my husband took some money (upon which I had written truth clarifying messages) out of my wallet to use for gambling in a poker game at work. When he laid the money on the poker table, his colleagues saw the writing and asked about it. He was embarrassed, and didn't know what to say. Prior to that, people I had talked to about Falun Gong had talked to my husband about it at work. Also, a colleague who I had given Falun Dafa information to was leaving town and wanted to return the materials to me. He left them at my home, giving them to my husband. This all made him angry and he began to make things difficult for me. He forced me to choose between him and Dafa and in the end demanded a divorce. I refused, but I was not sure what to do.
All of above suggest that I had major loopholes in my cultivation. They were caused by my fear and lack of righteous thoughts, especially when I was afraid to let him know what I was doing. I only prepared informational materials when he was not at home. As soon as I heard him coming home, I hid them. This was not the righteous state of a cultivator. He submitted an application for divorce to the local court, citing my being a Falun Gong practitioner as his reason for the divorce.
It was a heavy blow to me, because I had strong attachments. I was disappointed in myself. Why couldn't I have done better? I practiced for ten years and still had not risen above these human mentalities. It was only after studying the Fa that I finally understood the reasons for my circumstances within the home.
Teacher said,
“Dafa disciples are human cultivators, not gods that cultivate, and so as people who cultivate, they will be interfered with to some extent. If they cannot handle themselves well, then they are just like ordinary people; and when interfered with, their behavior will be much like that of ordinary people. Some students haven't encountered much in the way of ordeals and have gradually become lax. This means that they have formed attachments to the various temptations of ordinary society, and been dragged down by its lure.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference”)
I realized that I had not truly embraced Dafa completely. Isn't this fooling myself? How can I be worthy of the merciful salvation of Teacher and be responsible to those sentient beings who are counting on me? How can I accomplish the mission entrusted to Falun Dafa practitioners?
While I was lost amidst my human notions, the Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference was published on the Minghui web site. Teacher said,
“No matter what it is you have encountered as you've gone about validating the Fa, it is all, I will tell you, a good thing--and that's especially so in these years of persecution--for those things have come about specifically because you do cultivation. Those ordeals and the suffering, no matter how great or harsh you find them to be, are good things, because they take place solely on account of your cultivation. A person can eliminate karma and shed human attachments when he goes through ordeals, and through ordeals he can improve.”
Although I became clear about the Fa principles, it was a cultivation process to improve myself based on the Fa. When I was subpenaed by the court, I became anxious. I called my sister, who was also a practitioner, to discuss the situation, but couldn't get through. That evening I called another practitioner who I thought had a good understanding of Fa principles. His wife informed me that he was away at a meeting. I thought I would call him the next day, but was told that his company was going on an outing for the weekend. I called another practitioner who worked as a procurator. He was not available either. Then I realized that this was my cultivation and I needed to enlighten myself by searching within. I knew at this point that the answer was to study the Fa well. All righteous thoughts and righteous action will come out of Fa study. Through Fa study, looking within and sending righteous thoughts, I received strength from Teacher and my righteous thoughts improved.
At this point, the court called again for me to appear. I thought to myself....okay. I am a practitioner. I should use this opportunity to let the judge know about the truth and the beauty of Falun Gong. On the way to the court, I was reciting Teacher's Fa (“Disciples’ righteous thoughts are strong. Master has the power to turn the tide” “Master-Disciple Grace” (Hong Yin II) and sending righteous thoughts. When I ascended the stairs of the courthouse, I was calm and confident. I talked to the judge about Falun Gong and why I must practice. He listened very attentively and at the end he said, “It sounds like you have benefited a lot from practicing Falun Gong.” Later on, I persuaded him to withdraw from the CCP and told him that he should treat the practitioners well for his own future benefit. I realized that Teacher brings people to me who I have predestined relationship with and allows me to tell them the truth so they can be saved. Everything was arranged by Teacher.
Throughout this process, I enlightened that Teacher is always around us and his protection, strength and guidance can be felt all the time. As a result of this divorce, I have let go of many attachments and have also achieved better understanding of the Fa and stronger righteous thoughts. Looking back, I can see that indeed “cultivation depends on one’s own efforts while the transformation of gong is done by the master” (Zhuan Falun)
I enlightened that I have to walk my own path, instead of depending on other practitioners or other people. It was necessary to share with fellow practitioners that the most important thing is to look within, cultivate oneself and improve xinxing.
II. Experiencing Miracles in Dafa As a Result of Righteous Thoughts
Time and again I read on the Minghui web site that when Dafa disciples have righteous thoughts and actions, miracles happen. I would like to share one of my experiences.
I was driving one day and talking on the phone at an intersection when I rear-ended the car in front of me. Two angry men came out of the car and yelled at me. Their license plate suggested that they were from the public security bureau. I was nervous and apologized to them, but they would not let it go, and called the traffic police. When the police came, I was asked to show them my driver's license. Then I saw the Falun Gong materials I had in my car. I was afraid, but quickly started to send righteous thoughts. Then the police pulled us over to the side of the street to wait for the insurance company. The two guys insisted that I fix their car although there was barely a scratch on it. The insurance company agent was stuck in traffic and we waited a long time for him to come. Then I turned around and found that the two guys had driven away. I called them and they said they did not need me to fix their car any more. It was just incredible.
After the accident, I looked within. I found that I still had many attachments. I was not strict with myself. I was not “full of great aspirations while minding minor details” (“Sage” from Essentials for Further Advancement). Also, I got nervous as soon as I saw the police. I have to eliminate this fear of the evil. Had it not been for this incident, I would not have realized this.
Most importantly, I realized the beauty of being a Dafa disciple. We have a master who is near us all the time. As long as we follow the requirements of the Fa, everything we do will have the desired effects. I feel the compassion and dignity of Dafa.
III. Clarifying the Truth and Saving Sentient Beings
I am aware of my mission during Fa rectification. However, how do I do the best I can? What I had been doing was giving out information pamphlets while walking on the street, but I did not talk to the people.
Last year, my parents bought an apartment. I was contacting the contractor and getting construction materials, which gave me a lot of opportunities to speak to strangers. At first, I was nervous and I knew that was my human attachments, so I sent righteous thoughts to rectify myself. I asked for Teacher's strengthening. I tried to reflect on my shortcomings and learn from other practitioners. I talked to all those who came through my doors - deliveryman, laborers, and installers. Most of them ended up quitting the CCP and recognizing the goodness of the Fa.
Once, I was checking out furniture at a shopping center and talked to two shop assistants. They were very receptive. One of them appeared quite interested, so I chatted with her separately. I found out that she had previously practiced Falun Gong, but had given it up and was living with her boyfriend. She had tears in her eyes when we chatted. I encouraged her to come back and resume her cultivation. I dropped off Teacher's lectures and the CD of Shen Yun shows to further encourage her.
On a summer day, a girl selling shampoo knocked at my door. I told her that I was not interested, but she told me that she was a university student and this was her part-time job. So I asked her to come in to have a chat. I told her the truth about Falun Gong and persuaded her to withdraw from the CCP. She listened very attentively and in the end she agreed to withdraw from the CCP youth league and young pioneer group. When she left, I said to her that I would purchase the shampoo from her. She gave me a discount and was very grateful. Afterwards, I just put the shampoo in a corner thinking that a 5 yuan shampoo is not of very good quality. After a few days I thought, I can't just throw the shampoo away. Then I found that it was the best shampoo I have ever used! As I am writing this, I realize this encounter and outcome was arranged by Teacher.
Another time, I went to a furniture store to purchase a bed. I negotiated the price with the owner and wanted to talk to him further to clarify the truth. Then he disappeared, so I ended up talking with his cousin and persuaded him to withdraw from the CCP. After some time, I went to the store again to get the owner to deliver my bed. As soon as he saw me, he said that he had been looking for me. He claimed to be a fellow practitioner, but as I talked with him further I felt that he might be lying. His demeanor suggested that he was not a practitioner. So I went home and sent righteous thoughts and asked Teacher to strengthen me. Then I called using another cell phone to get them to deliver my bed. He said that he would deliver my bed in person. I did not want him to come to my home. I then realized my attachment of fear was present.
After this, I found that I had many human attachments. One of them, zealotry, was something I needed to eliminate. Also I discovered that sometimes I was not serious when clarifying the truth. Cultivation is a serious matter. We must treat it very seriously. In the end, the owner of the furniture store sent a workman to fix my bed and the situation ended in this way.
This historic arrangement is nearing its end. We must cherish this rare opportunity and do the three things well. We must live up to the responsibility of Dafa practitioners during this Fa-rectification period in time.
