Shared by a Norwegian Practitioner at the European Fa Conference in Copenhagen

First, I want to thank Master for all that he has given to us and to me. It is beyond words; still, I must use words.

To begin, I am very grateful that I, out strolling one day, got a thought in my head to make a detour. This brought me to a small alternative center. Inside, someone told me about Falun Gong, and showed me a little bit of a video. I could even buy the video and the introduction book -- for almost nothing. And I could get free instruction in my own country.

It all clicked. Before this, I had been frustrated and busy searching for meaning. Among other things I used a tape about finding the purpose of life. Out of that I developed the motto: "Find & share love & harmony." So I wanted to develop myself and then share my practice with others for free. This was contrary to my earlier efforts of making meditation and self-development into a business.

This decision felt good. But I still was frustrated. Despite the decision, nothing happened. There was no energy for action, and I did not know at all what to do and how to do it. Then I met Falun Gong -- and I knew immediately that this was what I had been looking for.

After returning home, I contacted a local practitioner to learn the exercises. It clicked again, and from that day on I have done the exercises about every day. In the beginning there were difficulties, but never doubt. I was very scared, and had to be quite determined to go on. At this point I realized that I had to stop taking sessions with a lady of certain abilities, who gave guidance for a successful future. I then realized that these sessions had given me a sense of security, but also a dependency. It felt scary to break the ties, but with Master's guidance I knew it was right. Despite this it took quite some time before I could feel safe and protected in Falun Dafa, even though I indeed must have been protected all the time.

In the meantime, Jiang had started the evil persecution of Falun Gong in China. After some hesitation I wanted to clarify the truth and expose the evil. So many attachments to overcome! While practitioners were arrested, abused and tortured in China, I was afraid of being seen distributing flyers downtown. "What would people say?" I felt ashamed, wondering why I could be here, free and safe, while practitioners in China were in such suffering.

Intuitively I wanted to join Fa-rectification. Internal resistance said: "No, this is politics." Not knowing how to do it was another loophole. Master explained that we needed to use our skills and creativity, and this was an inspiration. Thanks to help from experienced practitioners, and learning from taking part in activities abroad, I was slowly able to work towards politicians, government officials and the press in Norway.

On one level I feel that taking part in big appeals, also in coordinating them, has been the greatest learning and most important for a deeper understanding. Then I realize that of course Master's lectures are the real source, and that he is helping us as long as we cultivate. Pactitioners' sharing has also been helpful to find appropriate actions, based on the Fa.

For instance, looking back I see that clarifying the truth has been much like doing a job, and not always fully integrated with the Fa. Also these days I often experience that it is too much work, and too little in the Fa. Even if it is different from before, it is also the same: I want to increase my understanding and do better, and to reach higher levels of the Fa.

Master has told us to study the Fa more. Also when clarifying the truth, we need to read more. Still I tend to think that less time taking action means poor results. Attached to the fear of not doing well enough, I tend to immediately start planning instead of first reading together with the group. The challenge is to really trust the Fa, and not forget to study in the midst of all the doing and planning. I have also experienced how reading the book together is the most important, even when -- or especially when -- we are busy.

Then Master taught us to send forth righteous thoughts. In the beginning I tried, but I did not manage it. It was too difficult, and I dropped it as something that I could not do. Master kept telling us in his lectures that we needed to send forth righteous thoughts, "even if you think you cannot do it." These last words penetrated into me. Then I started to send righteous thoughts. I am grateful for Master's help to overcome the resistance, and I still need to do much better.

To let go of attachments we take part in ordinary society. However, many times our small local group of practitioners seems to be more than enough to reveal shortcomings -- first those of others, of course, then eventually and perhaps my own. I often see attachments like "knowing better," "fighting to be right," "not giving space to others" and "being an 'efficiency driver,'" which all hurt relations, slow down creativity and lead to a bad atmosphere. Thanks to Falun Dafa the relations in our group have improved. There is more openness and trust, but there is still room for improvement. Falun Dafa has the power to transform, and really does make a difference.

Changing the perspective has been useful. Master's words about doing more for others have helped me. With this I could focus on helping others, and be more accepting and tolerant. I have realized, from my own experience, that when a person is not kind and understanding, or not in contact with Zhen-Shan-Ren, it is because of some attachment. This person needs support and help instead of blame! And I needed -- and still need -- to change accordingly.

I am also very grateful to other practitioners. They help me to better understand the Fa. Conferences and peaceful appeals, local or abroad, have been important arenas for this. Practitioners have also come from abroad to our local group to support us in our cultivation and our activities of clarifying the truth. Seeing how important this was, I have also traveled to other places to assist others. In doing so I met attachments, such as thinking I am better than others. Then I wanted to withdraw. But it was required of me to be exposed. When I realized that I should do it for the Fa, I could stay in the role and live up to expectations.

Comparison is irrelevant. I just have to do my best and improve. It's a long way. I am not aware of any supernormal abilities or any trace of a gong column, and I cannot see through my Tianmu [third eye that can see other dimensions]. Still, I have no doubts about cultivation. I go on, even if it is hard work. The rewards are many. The list of rewards is too long for here now. Let me mention a few.

Falun Dafa has helped me to find meaning in life and to know why I am here. Connecting more and more to Zhen-Shan-Ren gives energy, balance, health and harmony. In this space I fight less for personal gain and do more for others, both in private and at work.

One last thing: I used to swear a lot. I even got complaints from customers, and I, myself wanted to quit this habit. However, it was impossible. After a short time of practicing Falun Dafa I suddenly observed that "now I do not swear anymore." It had just happened by itself. This is how Falun Gong makes a difference for me. Change emerges from within, as a result of cultivation.

Thank you all for listening.

Thank you to Master for all that you have given. It still is beyond words...

(Copenhagen, September 22, 2002)

Posting date: 10/4/2002
Original article date: 10/3/2002
Category: Practitioners' Insights

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