(Clearwisdom.net)

When I first started practicing the sitting meditation in 1995, I found it very difficult, even when I kept my legs in a loose lotus position. My knees would rise up very high. Even though my legs were not in the correct position, I still could not hold it for more than 10 minutes. Master said, "This exercise requires sitting with both legs crossed. The full-lotus position is preferred though the half-lotus position is also acceptable." (Falun Gong) However, I knew the value of the full lotus from Zhuan Falun, "The sitting meditation requires putting up both legs on top of each other for a long period of time." I insisted on doing the full lotus position, no matter how painful it was. In the beginning, my right knee remained very high, and my body tilted. After one and a half years, my right knee could touch the floor, so I forcibly lifted my left leg onto my right leg, attaining the full lotus position. I was able to sit for only a few seconds in the beginning, and later on I could sit for 20 minutes in the full lotus position. During that period of time, I wondered to myself, if it was always this painful, will my mind always be focusing on bearing the pain? How could I ever reach a state of tranquility? Then one day, when I was practicing, I didn't feel any pain. I gladly told others that I was determined to continue my practice since I was sure that someday I would reach the no-pain state from this experience. In April 2000, I returned to China from the US, and joined the practitioners there in assisting Master. After I clarified the truth to the Chinese people, I could no longer feel pain when I did the full lotus position for one hour. I felt marvelous.

I have a daughter and a son. My son liked me when he was small and always listened to me. My daughter was the opposite. She liked contradicting me. Now my son lives in the U.S. and my daughter lives in Europe. I'm staying with my daughter in her home. After I arrived there, the trivial conflicts never ended. I always tolerated them, holding back tears in my eyes. One day, I could not tolerate it any longer. I burst into tears in a supermarket. I knew in my heart that I was not following Master's requirements. I studied the Fa and looked inwards to resolve the problem. I found that as soon as conflicts arose, the first thought that came to my mind was that she did not have a good sense of conscience and was very rude to her mother. The second thought was that I was a cultivator and had to tolerate it. Therefore, I practiced tolerance with tears of complaint in my eyes. One day, when I was doing the sitting meditation, Master suddenly helped me understand that I should be thinking of myself as a cultivator first and foremost. My heart felt a release and a brightness that I could barely express. I shared this experience with my daughter. She did not cultivate, but after that, whenever she heard someone saying bad things about Falun Gong, she would say, "Do you know Falun Gong? My Mom is practicing Falun Gong. Whenever she has conflicts, she first searches for her own faults. The people who practice Falun Gong are such good people." I have reached the realm of tolerating while smiling. It was really an incomparably carefree and liberating feeling!

On July 20, 1999, I was living with my son. When I got up early to browse the Internet, I saw that the police were arresting Dafa assistants in every area. I immediately called a fellow practitioner to discuss what we should do. She said she would go to the Chinese Consulate in Chicago the next day. I asked her to pick me up the next day. I told my son about it that evening, and he stopped me from going. He reasoned that I eventually had to return to China. If the Chinese Consulate videotaped me or took a photo of me, I would be arrested. He even called that practitioner and told her not to meet me. I didn't get to go, but I told my son that to me, the Mainland Chinese disciples' suffering was like my own family suffering, and I couldn't sit idly by and do nothing. I therefore attended three of the large-scale activities in DC. The first two times, I asked some fellow practitioners to take me to their home after my son went to work. I stayed at their home for a day and left with them for DC after they returned from work. The second time that I went, it was my birthday. My son told me before he left for work, "Mom, do not make dinner today. We will go to a restaurant to celebrate your birthday." After he left, a Dafa disciple called me to let me know that there was an activity in DC. I asked him to meet me and left a note of apology for my son. I took the only 4 dollars I had with me and left. When I came back from DC, it was around midnight. When I saw the birthday card on the table and the birthday cake in the refrigerator, I thought I would apologize sincerely to my son, as he might be angry with me. The first words he said to me, however, were, "Mom, here is 100 dollars, so that you will have money next time." After I passed this test, there was no need to go around my son any longer.

The first time that I spread the Fa in a city in Europe and came back, I somehow missed the train. After my daughter heard this over the phone, she threw down the phone in anger. As soon as I walked through the door, I received a phone call from my son. He scolded and lectured me with love and tears in his voice. I had difficulty calming him down. When he told me that I should just quietly practice at home and not run around, I firmly replied that I knew that he loved me, that I also loved him, but that I am definitely a Falun Gong practitioner. Therefore, I would listen first to Teacher. When I told him these words from my heart, I could tell that he had calmed down.

Since July 20, 1999, we had been waiting for Master's new articles. There had been, from time to time, false articles being passed around in China. When I visited Europe for the first time in 2000, I was not able to read Chinese on my son-in-law's computer. I could only access Clearwisdom, which was in English. One day, I saw that there was a new scripture. I read it sentence by sentence with the aid of a dictionary, but it was difficult because my English was so poor. Although I finished reading it, I could not understand it accurately. I thought about asking the practitioners in the U.S. to print it out in Chinese and mail it to me the next day. The next morning, without thinking, I went to the Chinese version of Clearwisdom. What appeared in front of me was the Chinese scripture! I was so happy. After I finished reading Master's new article, I called my daughter over to find out what happened. She was also mystified and said that she had never touched the software in the computer.

I cannot see anything in other dimensions. However, I deeply believe what Master said in Zhuan Falun, "As long as you practice cultivation and are sure-footed and determined in practicing cultivation, we will treat you as disciples."

2002-11-17