A Western Practitioner in Philadelphia

Shared at New York 2002 Conference

Good morning. I'm from the Philadelphia area. I've been cultivating Dafa for about three years.

In his recent lecture at the Florida Fa Conference, Master talked about the importance of sending forth righteous thoughts, of clarifying the truth, and of Fa-study, and he reminded us again that, "you should do things even better, and you should continue on until the evil is completely eliminated." I would like to share some of my understandings about one of these things, that is, Fa-study.

Again and again our merciful Master has told us the importance of Fa-study. He has taught in explicit, direct terms that we absolutely cannot neglect Fa-study, and that this is simply fundamental to our doing Fa-rectification Dafa work well. He has emphasized this in just about every lecture he has given.

Yet despite this Fa from Master, I have found myself at certain times not taking Fa-study seriously enough, and failing to make it the priority it must be. I have also found my concentration very poor when studying, due, seemingly, to being overwhelmed with Dafa work and other responsibilities sometimes. I believe some fellow cultivators have had this same experience. But this is of course not a correct state. Not at all.

Several months ago, when preparing for the July activities in Washington, D.C., I found myself in this state of poor concentration during Fa-study. I knew clearly that it was not right. However, no matter how much will power I used to try to concentrate during Fa-study, I just could not read with the calm of mind that is so basic to Fa-study. My mind was full of thoughts of Dafa work. Before I'd pick up the book to study I would almost feel pained, putting off the work that just had to get done. When I would turn the pages, thoughts would pour in about what wasn't done yet, about how to approach certain projects, and so on. And while I read the words on the page, even out loud, my mind wandered madly, floating off to other tasks, people, frustrations, and so on. I even let up on my Fa-study, and lowered my standard for length of study.

And, not surprisingly, tribulations abounded. It seemed that one thing after another would not go right. It seemed that my responsibilities were piled miles high, like mountains that I could never overcome. Other people would constantly be annoying to me, and I noticed every one of their so-called faults. And worst of all, when I looked within it was like staring at a big, blank wall--I found just about nothing... and that's when I did think to look within, which wasn't often. My Dafa work became more and more separated from cultivation, which is dangerous. Clearly, something was seriously awry.

One passage of Fa at that time really spoke to me. In "Towards Consummation," Master stated that, "When your mind wanders all over the place as you read, the countless Buddhas, Daos, and Gods in the book see your laughable and pitiable mind, and can tell that the karma in your thoughts is controlling you, which is detestable." This really hit me hard. I knew what was happening, or so I thought, yet I still couldn't seem to overcome that forceful interference that made my mind wander so pathetically... even though I knew, too, on some level that it was compromising the sacred Dafa work I was doing.

All of this would change one day with a certain realization. That day my mind was wandering again, as I recall it, and I grew very frustrated. I stopped my reading in the middle, held the book (Zhuan Falun) in my hand for a long time, and just stared at it. I stared at the cover. I stared at Master's picture. I stared at the Falun symbol. And I asked, how on earth could I be so disrespectful? How could I not concentrate? Didn't I realize what this was? Didn't I understand what I was doing in Fa-study? And you know what, I realized that I didn't.

The first thing I did was ask myself that if Master himself were in front of me, giving a Fa-lecture to me, specifically, would I possibly not pay attention? And if he were speaking exactly according to my situation, revealing exactly the Fa I needed to know that day and at that point in cultivation, could I possibly just listen passively? Could I possibly just listen for two hours, thinking I had heard some of this before and not paying attention? Would I hop up when the phone rang, would I say something random to my wife as she walked by, would I get up for a cup of tea, would I take a brief nap, maybe asking Master to "hold on a moment, would you"? Absolutely, positively not. I would be utterly respectful and attentive. I wouldn't budge or even wiggle. I would have the heart of utmost respect.

Yet how, I then asked myself, is studying the Fa any different? Hasn't Master put everything of his into this Fa? Isn't what is revealed to us exactly the inner meaning at our level that we are supposed to know and see? Aren't Master's each and every word Falun and Law Bodies in other dimensions? Isn't it magnificent Buddhas, Daos, and Gods that reside behind every word and that reveal meaning to us? And when we read, isn't what comes out of our mouths all Falun and divine images? Yes, yes, and yes. And what's more, hasn't Master told us that reading his book we improve even more than listening to his lectures? Then, I thought further, isn't this act of reading extraordinarily sacred, just as sacred as if Master had come to give us a personal lecture on Fa?

Reflecting on these things, I realized just how shallow my righteous belief in Master's Fa and Fa-study really was. It was a matter of xinxing, of enlightenment quality, I realized, and mine needed to improve. If I could see all those things happening in the book, wouldn't I treat Fa-study as the most sacred thing in the universe? Yet who needs to actually see it to believe it, to know it? Isn't it even better to understand this, to have this heart of respect without having to see everything and not enlighten? I think probably so.

What I also realized, thinking about this, was that Fa-study had become sort of a routine. It was almost like a formality for me, though I knew it was extremely important, and I always made time for it no matter what. I somehow felt complacent with just the fact of having read for two hours. But reading for two hours is not the same as studying for two hours. I thought about how in college, when a student has an important exam or test coming up, he really, truly studies, with all his heart and soul, so that he can be prepared when the day of the test arrives. Would a student, the day before the exam, ever just treat his exam-preparation studies as a formality? Would he just read his textbook for, say, two hours and then feel good about himself, saying, "okay, I've put in my time studying. I'm sure I'll do fine with the test tomorrow. I've read for a couple hours, after all." Never. Instead, he really, truly must study and improve and elevate his understanding of the material. He must know it inside and out. He goes over what he has learned in his mind again and again, making sure he is clear on every detail. If he is not, he will study more and more, until he is.

Now, is Fa-study any different? Is the requirement any less high, especially at this time, during the final stage of the Fa-rectification? It is infinitely higher. Our test is a test of life and death, of stepping forward from humanness itself! Our test, or our performance, to put it another way, is not just a one-time exam, either, or something like a three hour exam. It is every single day, every single hour, every single minute--we must always perform as Fa-rectification Dafa disciples! We must always have pure hearts, righteous thoughts, and compassionate actions. If we do not, we cannot meet the requirements for us, as Dafa disciples, at this time. And 'the only way to ensure that we do Dafa work well is to make good use of our time to study the Fa', to use our Master's words. How could we just put in a couple hours each day and think that this is meeting the requirement for us? Isn't it a joke to think that that is enough, that that is cultivation? Even the ordinary college student knows that just reading one's book as a formality doesn't make the grade, that it won't be adequate for the test. He would be deceiving himself to think otherwise. How much more so for us in Fa-rectification!

As I came to understand these things, the change in my Fa-study was enormous. Those filthy, pathetic things that would press into my mind when I read before suddenly became like nothing. They were so easy to conquer, or they didn't even manifest at all. I read every word of Master's Fa with an extremely calm and clear mind. Every word seemed to penetrate deep into my heart, deep into my mind. It was as if I was reading a completely new book when I read Zhuan Falun, even though I'd read it many dozens of times already. Every paragraph revealed new principles of the Fa, new meanings; every lecture was mighty Fa, and it told me exactly what I was supposed to know and understand.

And correspondingly, everything around me grew harmonious. The Dafa work that had seemed insurmountable before was perfectly manageable, and when I did the work it was so much smoother, more efficient, and better quality. The conflicts shrank in size and number, and I found myself looking within very naturally; and looking within, there was so much there--so many things which before I could not see somehow. But of course they were there all along.

I am not saying that there have been no interferences during my Fa- Study. But when it interfered, I could see clearly, and eliminate with righteous thought absolutely. It is not part of I, it has no right to move Dafa disciples. I realized the reason to have interference is because my heart is not pure enough, so that the evil can find the gaps to get in. If I study the Fa well, look inside on all occasions, I will have the ability to block the evil.

This has carried with me over the months, and it has completely changed everything. There is one thing I now do that I find helpful in keeping this alert, respectful state. Before I do my Fa-study, I always pause for a minute or two before I start. I no longer just jump into Fa-study without thinking about what I'm doing, as if I were doing some mindless formality or routine, like eating lunch. Instead, I hold the sacred book of Fa in my hand, and I ask myself: "What is this book?" "What am I doing?" and "Why do I study this?" Just this brief reflection has a deeply purifying and centering effect, I find. It allows me to study for the right reasons, and to realize the sacredness of Fa-study. It prevents me from treating Fa-study as a formality, which is a sin.

There is one other thing I would like to share, and it's related to what type of standard we set for ourselves in Fa-study.

I try to maintain a standard for myself of studying the Fa for at least two hours a day. Last year, during that difficult period, however, I found the demands of some Dafa work to be too overwhelming, and as a result I strayed from my standard of Fa-study. In that straying, what I discovered was something frightening and serious. I found that if one day I studied a bit less, say, for example, only studying for one hour, I would feel a significant difference; I would feel a subtle disconnection to the Fa, a less clear mind, and less patience and compassion, among other things. Or, if I somehow missed Fa-study altogether that day, maybe by making clever excuses like that I would do twice as much the next day, that sense of disconnection to the Fa would be very noticeable, even painful. If I went a second day with a lower standard of Fa-study, say, putting in only one hour or less again, I would find it almost unbearable; the tribulations would seem as large as mountains, my Dafa work would be inefficient and full of conflicts, and I wouldn't see things from the Fa very well or look within much. It would be really painful.

That is a terrible state for a cultivator to be in, mind you, but at least I was aware of it; I had strayed from a higher standard, and it was obvious, so I was still aware.

What is much worse, and truly frightening, though, is what I found to happen when I went a third or fourth or more days with that lowered Fa-study standard. The painfulness and strong sense of disconnection surprisingly went away, and I didn't notice the same tension in me or see so many conflicts taking place. Now, this might sound good, but it is actually horrible. Why? I had adjusted to that new, lowered standard, and that had become my new, normal state! I had lost that higher state, and now had a new, lowered perspective. It wasn't that I had less conflicts, it was that I couldn't even recognize them; it wasn't that the tribulations weren't large, it was that everything was a tribulation. Only if I lowered my Fa-study standard yet further, such as to studying none at all, would I again feel a sense of discomfort and disconnection to the Fa; I would then be at an even lower standard, and would miss that one hour Fa-study standard. So I think this is truly scary, because it is the process of falling, of slipping in standards, and not being aware of it.

That brief, but alarming experience of straying in my Fa-study allowed me to see how a practitioner can become complacent with a low standard for himself with Fa-study, and get stuck in a poor state. On the other hand, positively speaking, I have consistently found that when I elevate my Fa-study standard, such as to three hours a day, for example, I find myself in a beautiful, much higher state; everything seems crystal clear, and my righteous thoughts are like diamond. This isn't to say that there is some magic formula for cultivation, of course. What it suggests, I think, is that if we raise our own standard we can overcome anything without much difficulty; we just have to meet higher requirements. With a higher Fa-study standard naturally come higher challenges and higher requirements, too, and one must elevate yet further, and so on. Again, it's not about numbers, but about how strict you are with yourself, what standard you set and achieve, and whether or not these are continually elevating. If we put Fa study in the rightful priority, we could do everything well.

Okay, thank you everyone, and please kindly point out any problems you see. This is only my understanding in cultivation.

Posting date: 2/22/2002
Original article date: 2/16/2002
Category: Cultivation Experiences
Chinese version available at http://minghui.org/mh/articles/2002/2/16/25046.html

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