American Practitioners: Our Journey to Tiananmen Square
(Clearwisdom.net) (Scott) Somewhere deep in my heart, I knew that one day I would go to Tiananmen
Square to validate the Great Fa of the universe. When I look back at my journey
and all the events that led up to February 14, 2002, it is now apparent that it
was all arranged long ago. Nevertheless, in the several months before the trip,
imagination, fear, fame, and many other degenerate human thoughts rushed through
my mind and I was faced with many large tests. (Eliana) Just about one month after Scott introduced me to Falun Dafa in June of 1999,
the wicked persecution began. Even though I knew little about it at that point,
I had no doubt Falun Dafa was a peaceful and beneficial practice. Based on what
I had read in Zhuan Falun, cultivating virtue and a good and kind heart
was most important and so the government persecuting these gentle, upright
people seemed extremely wrong and unjust. I remember staying up for hours into the night, reading up on the news in
Clearwisdom, trying to understand what was happening. I followed closely with
admiration and respect, the efforts by those Chinese practitioners, courageously
appealing for the right to practice their beliefs. With each report I read, I
felt wounded in the heart, so deep was my sadness for this unjust massacre that
unfolded and so quickly intensified. I often closed my eyes, imagining myself
there with them. At that time, I didn't know yet how else I could support them. One night around December 1999, I asked myself "why aren't we,
Westerners, helping with their efforts there? How long can we stand to watch
this bloody massacre for?" As soon as I had this thought I saw a
magnificent image -- it was like a big bubble floating in the air: I was
practicing with hundreds of other practitioners - westerners and non-westerners
- in Tiananmen Square! The image was very vivid and it felt like I was having a
quick glimpse into the future. (Scott) In early-December 2001, I learned from a local western practitioner that a
second trip to Tiananmen was in the works and I was told who to contact for more
information. I still wasn't sure if I should go, but figured that I should at
least get some more information. Oddly enough, I quickly found myself helping
with some of the coordination efforts---even though I was still undecided.
Eventually the others just assumed I was going. Thus, I decided that I should
take the next step and see if I could get a visa. I was almost certain that it
would be denied considering all the press conferences and appeals that I had
participated in right in front of the consulate. I simply walked in and was
eventually granted a visa. However, I still wondered if my decision to go was based on my attachment to
Fame. Since early childhood, I have always wanted to be a "super hero"
and have often thought about performing some heroic acts on Tiananmen Square.
Yet, one day when I was reading Teacher's latest articles, my doubts and notions
seemed to be totally dissolved by the power of the Fa. I can't explain what I
enlightened to, however, while I was reading, it just came to me that going to
Tiananmen would be very righteous and within the Fa's requirements of me. (Eliana) In January of this year, about one month before the trip, while I was inside
the revolving doors entering our building, Scott mentioned that a practitioner
friend of ours was going to China... a few seconds later he added in a barely
audible voice, "and maybe Scott will go too"... I was petrified. Although I tried my best to forget his words, various human
notions and attachments of sentimentality, fear and anxiety entangled my mind
and turned into one big, grim, heavy cloud that overpowered me. Each night
before going to sleep, accounts of torture and death ran through my mind, my
heart would pound with fear. I faced my deepest attachment - the fear of death.
Not the fear of my own death, but that of a loved one. Because of an incident
that happened several years ago, I developed an uncontrollable fear of losing
those close to me. It now surfaced again with unusual intensity. To study with a calm mind became a real challenge, yet Teacher teaches us
that "The boat to sail the boundless Dafa rides on hardships" and so I
decided to take it as an opportunity to rise beyond my humanness. How could I
assist Teacher and fulfill my role as a Fa-Rectification disciple, while
harboring such stubborn aversions and desires? How could I allow the evil forces
to use this attachment of mine to interfere with Scott's cultivation? I
proceeded to study the Fa more diligently and send forth righteous thoughts. One week before the trip, Scott told me that he had purchased his tickets.
Not knowing what I had gone through that month, he was surprised when I said I
too wished to go. But I asked him: "I still have so much fear, should I go
still?" He said, "You don't have to have completed cultivation in
order to step forward." Just two days before the trip, my mind and heart settled down. The heavy
cloud no longer existed; heartfelt resolve had replaced it. The image I had seen
years before gradually returned to me and made me smile again. Before we left, I
spoke to many fellow practitioners and their support and kind advice made all
the difference. (Scott) During the Fa conference in New York, many of the '36 westerners' who went to
Tiananmen in November shared their experiences with us. During our meeting, one
of the previous travelers was asking each of us why we wanted to go to Tiananmen
and was saying that if we don't know why then we shouldn't be going. I was a bit
concerned because I really couldn't explain to others why I was going. I
eventually realized that my decision to go was coming from a place very deep in
my heart and that I didn't have the ability to verbalize it. My current
understanding is that I simply had a "Knowing Heart." Our flight arrived in China in the evening of February 11th and
our group of eight practitioners spent the next two days doing tourist things.
On the 12th, four of us went to Tiananmen Square the second we walked onto the
square, we could feel the intensity of the evil pressing down on us. Many police
watched us, took pictures and filmed us very closely, while several
plain-clothed police followed us. I then understood that Tiananmen Square is a
very significant place in other dimensions and the old forces are doing
everything in their power to control it. The next day, seven of us went to the Great Wall. After climbing to the
highest point of the Wall, several of us sent forth righteous thoughts. I
quickly cleared my mind and found that my righteous thoughts came forth very
strongly. Afterwards, I just sat there and gazed out at all the mountains with a
very clear mind. A very powerful understanding, from somewhere deep within,
manifested in my mind. The understanding was that Dafa disciples must be deeply
rooted in the Fa. I know I have read this many times, but this time, I actually
'experienced' this understanding on a very deep level. The night before we were to go to Tiananmen, I woke up at about 4:30 am, in a
half awake state, my attachment to fear and anxiety surfaced in very large way.
My heart was pounding, my hands were sweating, and I couldn't stop thinking
about the next day. My imagination was running wild. After about 30 minutes of
lying sleepless in bed, at around 5:30am, I decided to get up and send forth
righteous thoughts. I finally calmed down and studied the Fa for an hour---my
mind became clear and my anxiety disappeared. I then went back to sleep and we
woke up at about 8am. I was hit with another wave of anxiety when I found out from practitioners
back home that 14 practitioners had already been detained from their hotel the
night before. At this point I felt tremendous pressure all over my body. We left
our hotel room and once I got outside all the pressure and anxiety was lifted.
It felt like I had passed a large tribulation and my conviction to validate the
Fa on Tiananmen Square became rock-solid. I knew in my heart that no matter what
happens I would make it the Square and yell out 'Falun Dafa Hao.' (Eliana) Our group of eight practitioners (6 Americans and 2 Brazilians) finally
gathered together outside the hotel. One of the Brazilian practitioners carried
all his possessions, including his Dafa books in a large backpack. Several of us
subtly mentioned to him that it wasn't a good idea -- we saw that the police on
the Square searched the backpack of every person. The Brazilian firmly said,
"I will walk onto the Square and I won't be touched---you will see." He waved goodbye, making his way towards the Square on his own. We respected
his conviction. Later we learned that he indeed walked right onto the square,
his backpack never checked, he made it all the way to the people's monument,
holding a rose in his hand for those practitioners who had lost their lives. The
rest of us were stopped on the outskirts of the Square. This practitioner had
been cultivating pretty much on his own in Brazil for the past 2 years and it
took him a long time to understand the importance of being a Fa Rectification
disciple. We asked him if he would go only one week before our departure. He
amazed us when he immediately replied with a solid "yes," dropped
everything, and met us in Beijing. (Scott) We took the subway to the Square and while in the underpass that goes under
the street and comes up onto the square, 3 police officers asked if they could
do a security check on us. It turned out that they just had metal detectors and
four of us easily passed the check and quickly walked up the stairs onto the
square. At the top of the stairs, I noticed that the practitioner who was
carrying our 9-foot golden Dafa banner practitioner was still being checked and
they had just found the banner. All the police started to yell to the officers
to stop the rest of us. It was only 1pm and I really wanted to make our 2pm meeting with all the
other practitioners. I started to walk away quickly thinking that perhaps I
could go into the nearby subway entrance before anybody saw me. However, within
two seconds a plain-clothed officer had grabbed my arm. I looked into the Square
and thought: "There is no way I'm going to leave China without yelling 'Falun
Dafa Hao!' on the square." At this moment, I shook my arm away from officer
and ran towards the flagpole and yelled out several times, as loud as I could,
"Falun Dafa Hao!!" I got about 15 meters and the officer was grabbing
my arm again, but I continued to run. I reached into my coat pocket and threw
out about 100 small, yellow truth clarifying flyers. The officer eventually
tackled me to the ground, but while sitting there, I was still able to reach
into both of my pant pockets and I threw out two more large handfuls of flyers.
I looked back in towards the center of the square and saw a beautiful
scene---there was a huge cloud of Dafa Flyers suspended in the sky. My wife and
two other practitioners had also thrown out all of their Dafa flyers. (Eliana) I passed the metal detector check and quickly walked up the stairs onto the
square. Looking down the stairs, I saw our fellow practitioner in a choke hold.
I froze for a second, hesitating in leaving him behind like that. But then began
to walk quickly towards the center of the square where many people gathered.
Over my left shoulder there was Scott in the middle of the wonderful cloud of
hundreds of our flyers. A few more steps and I was tackled, hitting the ground
hard, face down. I immediately began to yell "Falun Dafa Hao." There
was a big crowd of people around me then, during those few minutes I felt
nothing but Shan (Compassion) in my heart. While being dragged around, I calmly
looked into the eyes of each person in the crowd and told them from my heart
"Falun Dafa Hao." With each eye contact I felt as I physically touched
that person in the heart. I still feel this type of connection now whenever I
clarify the truth to people. Instead of just repeating words that may sound good
like I did before, since that day the words really come from my own heart and
the effect is very different. Firmly squeezing my wrists, the police twisted my arms behind my back
forcefully, yanked my hair down, chin tightly pressed against my chest, covering
my Western face as much as possible and muffling my voice. They picked my body
up in the air, trying to push me into the car legs first but somehow they had
great difficulty doing this. I kept pushing the car away with my legs to stay
there as long as possible. While this resisting took little effort from me and
caused me no pain, it seemed they were working very hard. I remember my feet
were above the car door when they dropped me to the ground, and I hit the ground
with my head. I lost some mental clarity at that point and they finally threw me
in the car. In the small car, I was strongly held down by all in the car and it was hard
to take a breath. I was happy to see my fellow practitioner was in the same car.
We shared the sublime thought that what we had done was most righteous. His
familiar face and words of encouragement were great to see and hear. They drove
us away to the Tiananmen Police Sub-Station. (Scott) In the Tiananmen Police Substation there were at least 50 police crowded in
the entranceway. They searched me and took all of my possessions. I was
surprised, when an officer tried to take off my watch and I said firmly,
"No, That is mine!" He then left the watch. They sat us down in a room where several other practitioners were already
sitting in meditation on the floor. I continued to yell at the officers asking
them if we were arrested and if we were not then they should let us go. My wife
said, "calm heart," as I was getting too excited. She was right, and I
decided to close my eyes and send forth righteous thoughts. I was somewhat
surprised because most of the police officers seemed very "small" and
I was not afraid of them at all. (Eliana) I was surprised that I was very calm at the police station. I felt
emotionally detached as if observing a scene. At one point however, I heard the
loud screams of a woman. I don't know what they were doing to her. We sent forth
righteous thoughts. After about 30 minutes, we were all taken into a police van.
They drove us away from the city for a long time during which we clarified the
truth to the police officers. The van stopped in front of a building that looked like a hotel but this was
in reality a detention center where they illegally imprisoned and physically and
psychologically abused people. Outside the van, they threw many men at us to
separate us when we tried to stick together. Their faces were wicked and they
used much brutality. A person had been filming the whole time but he immediately
stopped when Scott began to yell, "The self-immolation is a hoax!"
They dragged Scott up into the building and later they took me in. They shoved me to sit on a chair. I stood up and said that I knew they
tortured people there and that my friends had been beaten in that very place. I
said I wanted to see how Scott was. A policeman walked towards me and pushed me
forcefully against the wall and then pushed me to sit down. I stood up again, an
older officer with an inhumane face walked up to me and, trembling with anger,
picked up a large ashtray and motioned like he was going to throw against my
face but he stopped. I felt bad for him; he had nothing inside, just a shell
being manipulated by the evil. About 3 or 4 policemen took me to a small room by myself. I asked them if
they had any idea about the extent of the criminal government activity against
Falun Dafa and if they knew that several hundreds of thousands of their own
people were suffering with beatings, torture and even murder. "Do you know
what it feels like to receive a real beating," they asked. I could see
through their tactics and did not feel moved by them. I proceeded to tell them I
had graduated from one of the best universities in the US and had received
several accolades for excelling in academics and in athletics. And that I was
one of the 70 people my company decided to keep out of over 600 employees. This
was said with a humble pure heart, intending only to dispel whatever distorted
notions they had about what practitioners were like and to shatter common lies
fed to them like poison by their superiors and state media. "Dafa has taught me to be a good person, a responsible worker and a
loving family member and friend. Teacher's teachings have healed many wounds in
my family and has brought much harmony into all my relationships, I'm a healthy,
happily married woman." I told them I had gone to China just for that
moment, to tell them about the truth of the persecution that was ravaging their
great nation and about the consequences they would suffer if they chose to
continue to persecute us. When I finished, a policewoman said that she could
only believe what she could see. "Please promise me you will visit the
Masanjia labor camp, you will believe me then." I said. She told me to
write Masanjia on her piece of paper. I practiced the exercises and sent righteous thoughts while the 3 policemen
watched TV and smoked cigarettes. Looking at each one of them, I saw some light
around their bodies, but inside them there were large blocks of black matter and
my great compassion emerged. I continued to send forth my most righteous
thoughts to eliminate all the evil. (Scott) After I was dragged in this Hotel/Detention center, I decided that I was not
proving anything by physically resisting. Five police then escorted me to a
separate room. Police officer A began to ask me questions such as, "How
long have you been practicing" and "why did you come to Beijing."
I told him that I would not answer any questions until I was together with my
wife. He asked me the questions anyway, and I just answered each with 'Falun
Dafa Hao' and he wrote down my answers. I then started to ask him questions
about his job and his family. Eventually I told him why I practiced Dafa, why I
came to Beijing, and why the Government's persecution is wrong. After about 15
minutes, it seemed that he couldn't handle listening to the truth anymore, he
sighed, and lay down on the bed. I sat in double lotus on the chair, sent forth righteous thoughts and then
did the sitting meditation for an hour or so. One of the young officers sat next
to me and asked, "Falun Gong exercises makes you very strong, right?"
I replied, "Yes, in many different ways." "It was very difficult
to drag you from the police van," the other office said. I said, "I
know many people around the world who practice Falun Gong and they all have
become stronger." "Yes, Falun Gong is good all over the world, but bad
in China," the young officer said with a sigh, putting his head down in
shame. I asked him if he liked his job and he quietly said, "No. It's
terrible." I told him to make sure to never hurt Falun Gong practitioners;
he nodded his head in agreement. After another 2 or 3 hours, police officer A returned -- and I was taken to a
room that was for the practitioners who did not cooperate during the
interrogations. There were eight practitioners there and we all sent forth
righteous thoughts. We didn't accept the orders from the police and ended up
reading Dafa books and practicing all night. (Eliana) After 5 or 6 hours in the small room where the interrogation had taken place,
I was told to follow them to where Scott was. I got to a big room, filled with
40 to 50 policemen and about 20 practitioners in the center. Scott was not
there. Someone told me he was in another room. We began asking each other about
other people we knew. Have you seen so and so? How about so and so? It seemed
like the aftermath of a battle, we were counting the bodies and the wounded. I
thought of our Chinese practitioners... our ordeal paled in comparison to what
they must endure. Throughout the night, policemen walked in the room and randomly pointed to
practitioners, who would have to go with them. No one knew where they were
taking them or who would be next. One of the worst memories I have is of
practitioners being forcefully dragged away and beaten up outside the room for
not wanting to have their picture taken. For several days and even weeks I felt
very ashamed for not having done anything to stop that evil act, after all I had
gone all that way just for that, yet I passively watched this violence right in
front of me. It's hard to think and act clearly in the center of evil, thus I
gained further admiration for those who cultivate in that environment. (Scott) At about 3am, I was taken out of the room and we were all taken back to our
hotels to pick up our luggage. The bus driver got lost and the entire trip took
about three hours. The entire time, Eliana and I spoke with police officer A
about Dafa. He brought up all the typical government fabrications and each time
we easily clarified the truth to him. It was very sad because each time we would
clarify something, he would say, "I want to be a good man and I just want
to do my job well. I know my government would never hurt anybody." I could
tell that he was brainwashed by the government and it was difficult to tell if
he was being genuine or just playing "good cop" with us. (Eliana) We spent about 20 hours in the big room. All of the practitioners made
efforts to communicate with them, to reach them, to touch their hearts however
they could. Dafa disciples' compassion shone like gold, manifesting itself in
the center of the most dreadful wickedness. We sent forth righteous thoughts at set times. One practitioner knew
Teacher's "Fa-Rectification Disciples" by heart and whenever he would
recite it, the room lit up with the precious words. Some of the policemen would
quiet down and listen attentively. During one of the conversations, a
policewoman said -- "but you are different from the practitioners in
China." "Try to talk to the Chinese practitioners, you will surely
find the same heart of Zhen-Shan-Ren." We said, "It is Jiang that
wants you to think we are all bad people." One of the policemen I talked
for several hours said, "Maybe one day, if I leave this country, I'll start
considering what you are saying...." We said: "you must think about
what we are saying immediately. We traveled halfway around the globe because
this matter is so urgent." We kept talking all night until the next morning
when it was time for me to go. I said goodbye to him. His last words were
"I'll think about what you said." I wished I had reached more of them.
There are so many people like him, being used, lost in dreadful deception. We
must reach them. (Scott) At about 10am, they came to the room, took us to a van and drove us to the
airport. After the plane finally took off, I felt relief, but also sadness. I
should have spent more time clarifying the truth to the police, instead of
reading and doing the exercises. When I now look back at that brief moment on Tiananmen Square, I often think,
"why didn't I do this and why didn't I do that?" I didn't even try to
send forth righteous thoughts or use my supernormal abilities to stop the
officers from detaining me. What I have come to realize is that you can talk all
you want about how you should act when you confront the evil, but what
you actually do is a reflection of how deeply rooted you are in the Fa. As
Teacher says in The Knowing Heart, "Grand talk counts for naught
when it comes to life and death, Actions reveal what is true." Although our appeal didn't unfold exactly as we had planned, based on current
media reports, our trip to Beijing is having a major impact in clarifying the
truth to the world. Also, most of us realized that a large part of our journey
was to offer the truth to hundreds of police officers. The Westerner appeals on
Tiananmen Square are delivering a large blow to the evil forces. (Eliana) My lessons: - While in the midst of evil, we constantly sent forth righteous thoughts and
remained focused on our mission to clarify the truth to as many people as we
could. Don't depend on an evil environment to be this diligent. - Actively find and eradicate attachments without relying on extreme
situations to show them to you - Remember that countless beings are waiting to be saved, each act of
clarifying the truth--small or big-- has an impact that directly affects your
own Consummation - Above all, never slack on studying the Fa and taking the Fa as Teacher
I kept yelling "Falun Dafa Hao!" as loud as I could. The policemen
quickly dragged me off the square and half down the subway ramp. I'm not exactly
sure why, but I then started to yell, "Help, I'm being attacked!!!"
The people in the subway were shocked. The police stopped and then dragged me
back up onto the square. I began to yell, "Falun Dafa Hao!" again,
with all my might. About six officers dragged me over to a police van and I
resisted getting in. Eventually one of them got my arm behind my back and
started to choke me. Eventually they pushed me into the van. I kept yelling
"Falun Dafa Hao!" as loud as I could. Another practitioner was put
into the same van and it then drove across the square. I yelled "Falun Dafa
Hao!" out the window to the crowds of people until eventually an officer
covered my mouth.
Chinese version available at
http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2002/3/28/27421.html
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