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My Thoughts After Returning from a Falun Dafa Conference By Tong Qingwen
(Clearwisdom.net) My situation lately had not been good. Although I
realized that there was an attachment that I was supposed to get rid of that was
bothering me, I could not help being disturbed and distracted. I felt strong
interference when I tried to study the Fa, and I couldn't get my mind to settle
down. I could not pass this stage despite my effort to study the Fa and spend
more time sending forth righteous thoughts. My not being able to get rid of this
attachment made me anxious, and my anxiousness enhanced my attachment. At one point, I attended a Dafa Experience Sharing Conference. One
practitioner there shared her experience of telling the truth of Dafa and saving
every person she met. While she was talking, I could feel the power of her
purity and compassion from the way she spoke and behaved. I was deeply touched
by her selflessness and her pure heart of saving people; I felt that my whole
body was embraced by a field of compassion. This feeling lasted for quite a
while. I chatted with her when walking with her later. She told me that we could
not attach too much to our "self," because "selfishness" had
a connection at higher levels in the old universe. After returning from the conference, I recalled the practitioners' experience
sharing. Suddenly I realized that I had been putting too much emphasis on
myself. I was too "selfish." When it came to cultivation, my problem
was that I was focused on self-cultivation. I always emphasized that "I
want to cultivate;" "I want to improve;" or "Nothing should
affect my cultivation." For example, several days ago I was bothered by the fact that I was not able
to give up my attachment. However, when I was not attached to how to get rid of
my attachment, and when I stood from the standpoint of being responsible to the
Fa-rectification and put my heart on how to use compassion to save people, and
when I thought only about how to save others, my attachment disappeared. Although I had before realized some principles when I tried to get rid of my
attachment, something had seemed to prevent my heart from being touched deep
within and from being changed by and assimilated to Dafa. Now I realized that it
was the selfishness that had been blocking my change. More specifically, "I
want to cultivate," "I want to improve," and "Nothing should
affect my cultivation" are my attachments. I found that once I established
a proper foundation for my cultivation, the principles of the Fa have permeated
my heart and made all the attachments disappear. It is just as one practitioner once shared: If we put more effort in Fa-rectification,
we will not be easily affected by our personal tribulations. Above is my personal understanding. Please correct me with compassion if
anything is not appropriate. Posting date: 11/14/2003
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