My Cultivation Diary: Dissolving the Small Self

Written by an Overseas Dafa Practitioner with the pen-name of Zileng

(Clearwisdom.net)

Recently I broke up with my boyfriend whom I have been with for several years. For me this is not a small trial. I even felt very down and upset for a few days afterward.

"You will be made to abandon all those attachments that cannot be given up among everyday people. As long as you have them, all of those attachments must be removed in different environments. You will be made to stumble, whereby you will become enlightened to the Tao. This is how one goes through cultivation practice."

(Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

I believe that I will definitely get through this, because I am a practitioner.

During the Chinese New Year, the Student's Association organized a celebration party. I took a cake and some Dafa materials with me to the party. After the buffet dinner, a friend introduced me to some guests from the Chinese Embassy. I shook hands with an officer from the Embassy and his wife as we started to chat about family affairs. After talking for a little while, the officer left. I began to tell his wife that I have been unable to return home for a while because of my family's fear for my safety if I return, as I am a Falun Gong practitioner. The officer's wife expressed sympathy towards my situation. I continued to tell her about how Dafa is being taught all over the world, but is banned only in China. I also told her about the truth of the so-called Tiananmen Square self-immolation incident. Upon hearing that the incident was made up, she was shocked. I explained to her a few of the suspicious points regarding the incident and told her that the international community all knows that the incident is used as an excuse for the persecution of Falun Gong. Then I went to get a VCD for her to watch.

When I returned with the VCDs, her husband had returned. I did not approach them right away, but instead I gave the VCDs away to other Chinese guests. A young lady told me that she had watched the VCD that I gave her last time, and that until then, she had not realized that such things were happening around her. A doctorate student said that he had seen the VCD earlier while in China, and that he also has watched the VCD that I gave him on the bus. I also met someone who came from the same city as myself and I told him that one of my colleagues is still in prison. I felt much more at ease while giving away the VCDs than I have in previous years. No one whom I asked rejected it, and they were all very willing to listen to the truth. My heart is more stable than it was before. I also told them to pass the VCD on to other Chinese friends to watch. When the party was about to end, I saw the couple from the Embassy leaving the door. I quickly ran up to them and gave the officer's wife the VCD.

When I got home, my heart felt much brighter. As I was recalling my personal matters, I laughed, as it was no longer any problem for me, and I felt all matters amongst every day people were so tiny. As long as my heart is in Dafa and dissolved into the Fa, the small self will dissolve in no time. Nothing can stop me from advancing on my path, no slow down my pace in assisting Master to rectify the Fa.

2003-2-9

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