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My Heart Was Bleeding When I Was Forced to Write Statements against Dafa under Pressure in the Forced Labor Camp
December 8, 2003 (Clearwisdom.net) My name is Wang Liren. I am 52 years old, and I am a
Falun Dafa practitioner who started practicing Falun Dafa in 1995. On January
31, 2003, I was arrested when distributing truth-clarification materials telling
about the persecution of Falun Dafa. In the police station, they cuffed my hands
and feet to a metal chair and punched my head with their fists. The police van
driver used an electric heater to scorch my face. After being tortured for one
day and one night, I was sent to the Administrative Detention Center in the
Shenyang City Police Department, where I was kept for 37 days. Then I was
transferred to Zhangshi Forced Labor Camp, Xinshou Division, in Shenyang City. At the labor camp I was forced to sit for a long time every day from early
morning until after midnight, about 20 hours a day. In addition, I had to sit
straight with my legs crossed. I was also not allowed to move even a little bit;
otherwise the head inmate would hit me with a wooden board. Even the times for
meals and using the bathroom were extremely short. After about one month, my
bottom and ankles were all worn out. I could no longer continue sitting, but lay
down on the floor. A police guard surnamed Cao ordered two inmates to force me
to sit up. They also punched me in the face. It was even worse in the evening.
At that time, several pieces of window glass were broken and missing, and the
weather was very cold. Moreover, the police guard turned on a fan every day to
circulate the cold air. I had no blankets, nor did I have on much clothing. As
soon as I laid down, it was so cold that I shivered all over and had to curl up
to try to stay warm, and still could not go to sleep. As a result, even the 3 or
4 hours of sleep I was allowed every day were also taken from me. Due to the
extremely cold temperature, both my legs were damaged and could not bend
normally. My health condition was very poor. Forty days later, I was sent to the
Special Division of Zhangshi Forced Labor Camp (only Falun Gong practitioners
were detained there). Right after I arrived there, the division head instigated the collaborators [former
Falun Gong practitioners who have been brainwashed by police and now assist the
police in trying to brainwash others] to take turns trying to brainwash me.
This continued until 2 a.m. every day. Later, I was totally deprived of sleep.
After more than 10 days, seeing me still not yielding, the Political Head, Song
Baishun, came to have a talk with me. Unable to achieve the result he desired,
Song then coerced the inmates to torture me. At the beginning, the inmates forced me to squat with many thumbtacks placed
under my bottom. They also wrote Teacher Li's name on the floor and forced me to
half-squat and half-stand while stretching both arms backward [a cruel
torture position intended to cause excruciating pain]. The inmates said,
"Hurry up and get 'transformed' [accept brainwashing]. Otherwise, all of
us will have our terms extended by three months." Seeing no response from me,
five or six of them rushed at me and started to beat me savagely. One heavy-set
inmate sat on me and hit me hard on the back of my head. The others kicked my
waist and legs forcefully. They also stepped on my hands, twisting their feet
back and forth, and ground my hands into the floor. While doing all this, they
said, "So far we have treated you gently. Later, we will stick a toothbrush into
your anus and brush back and forth. You cannot tolerate that." In this way, they
tortured me for a very long time and did not stop even when I was hurt so badly
that I could not get to the bed. After being tortured like this several times, I was scared. Under the
pressure, I yielded. They immediately forced me to write the "Three Statements"
[Practitioners are coerced under brainwashing and torture to write these
as proof that they have given up their belief. Created by the "610 Office,"* the
three statements consist of a letter of repentance, a guarantee to never again
practice Falun Gong, and a list of names and addresses of all family members,
friends and acquaintances who are practitioners]. While holding the pen in
my hand, I truly sensed the feeling of my "heart bleeding." Under the beatings and pressure, I was not strong enough to insist on the
truth, but instead slandered Teacher, who not only gave me a second life but
also re-forged my spirit. My heart was trembling, and my hands were shaking.
They brought a sample for me to copy and kicked my legs hard. My mind was empty,
and I do not know how I stepped out of that bloody room. They did not stop there. What followed was more brutal spiritual persecution.
At the beginning, they forced me to write articles to defame Teacher and Dafa
again and again. Then, they forced me to watch videotapes that slandered Teacher
and Dafa all day long. They also forced me to read aloud the materials that
defamed Teacher and Dafa. Every vicious word in it cut me like a sword, causing
me extreme pain. Every time I wrote an article to defame Dafa, my heart felt terrible. I was
worried, helpless, sad, and depressed. These feelings occupied my whole mind and
body. My mind almost collapsed. For many days, I was hoping to die immediately. The endless torture made my physical body very weak. Not only did much of my
hair turn gray, it also fell out. When I was walking, I felt dizzy and very
tired. Meanwhile, the feelings of regret and self-blame became heavier and
heavier. I knew that what I had learned was the Buddha Fa, the Truth, but I
yielded because of not being able to bear the brutal torture. How sad and
shameful it was! Being a coward made me act against my conscience and defame our respectful
Teacher. How could I forget it was Teacher who had benevolently helped me when I
was in life-threatening despair? How could I forget it was Teacher who had given
me the best answer to my questions about life that I had asked for years? It was
Teacher who changed me from a cynical person to someone who was optimistic and
responsible. But I instead was betraying Teacher! The endless mental abuse made me feel hopeless, especially after I was sent
to Zhangshi Forced Labor Camp. Every day, I could see practitioners being
tortured inhumanly. At the beginning, I felt bad upon seeing practitioners being
beaten. The collaborators also gave me a hard time for helping practitioners.
Later, I found myself more and more indifferent, no matter what happened. Little by little, I changed back into a cynical person. I then started to
make fun of the collaborators or just chat with them to kill time. In this way,
I was hoping to reduce the deep sorrow in my heart. I was thus falling down unwittingly. Later, I began to realize that behaving
this way is not even being responsible for myself and it is against Dafa. I
corrected myself in time. I came to realize that the reason why they tortured me
so brutally was because they did not want me to be a good person but instead
wanted to destroy me. Since then, I kept reminding myself: although I once defamed Teacher and
committed sins, I should not destroy myself in despair. I need to keep Teacher's
words in my heart and discipline myself all the time to be a good person. In
this way, with extremely weak health and a wounded heart, I spent more than 500
harrowing days and nights in Zhangshi Forced Labor Camp. I still want to be a Dafa disciple! Wang Liren * The "610 Office" is an agency specifically created to persecute Falun Gong,
with absolute power over each level of administration in the Party and all other
political and judiciary systems. Posting date: 1/30/2004
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