By Falun Gong practitioner Yu Xiao in Northern China

(Clearwisdom.net)

Part 1: http://www.clearwisdom.net/emh/articles/2004/11/10/54381.html

Should I choose a life of homelessness (1) or should I move to another country? I have experienced staying away from home and living in exile before. If I did it again, it would seem improper - financially and physically as well as in regards to clarifying the truth. If I wanted go abroad, I hadn't prepared the necessary documents. I decided to take time to study the Fa with a calm mind and then decide my next step once I was clear about what to do. A friend of mine happened to have a new house available at that time and I could use it at any time. I decided to stay there for several days. This time I was not as anxious as I was before. I decided to clarify the truth in any situation to help save sentient beings. I would tell the truth to everyone I met, whether I was purchasing luggage or whether I was on the street.

Over those few days, I studied some of Master's lectures once again. Master said,

"Human selfishness, greed, stupidity, and ignorance are interwoven with the goodness inherent in human nature, and humans are unknowingly creating everything they will have to bear; this is currently swallowing up society. Numerous social problems of various sorts are surfacing in the world and crises lurk everywhere. Yet humans do not know to find the causes within their own nature. After the degeneration of morality, humans are unable to see that the terrible human heart is the poisonous root of social problems, and so they always foolishly try to find the way out in social phenomena. As a result, human beings never realize that all the so-called "ways-out" that they create for themselves are precisely them sealing themselves off. As such, there are even fewer ways out, and the new problems that follow are even worse. Thus, with much difficulty humans again find a tiny space and take new measures, thereby closing this remaining bit of space once again. As this repeats itself over a period of time, there is no room left and they can no longer find a way out, nor can they see the truth beyond the enclosed space. Human beings begin to suffer from all that they have created for themselves. This is the final way in which the universe eliminates lives."

("Remaking Mankind," Essentials For Further Advancement)

"Actually, everything that the old forces have done is out of a natural instinct that the cosmos's beings have to try to save themselves. But it's useless. Every time before the colossal firmament was about to end, the beings in those times all did this too, but they actually accelerated the disintegration."

(Touring North America to Teach the Fa)

Comparing Master's teaching with my own thoughts, I felt I was very silly. All my efforts were to "save myself" whether I went abroad or left home. With such a selfish thought, even going to the Moon would be the same as "turning around at the same spot."(2) Furthermore, the "ways-out" only served to seal myself off further. Then, what was my loophole? Except for recently not doing well with the three things, I became impatient with fellow practitioners. They could get the materials but the materials did not have the effect they should have had. Faced with this situation, I didn't overcome the difficulties to help fellow practitioners but chose to escape from them.

"Everything I've been doing during the Fa-rectification and everything I want, to spell it out, are the choice of the future cosmos and the needs of the future cosmos. So for the beings of the old cosmos, and this includes all the elements of beings, when it comes to the Fa-rectification and what I choose, all beings' harmonizing and completing things according to my choices and contributing their best ideas and approaches--not to change what I want, but to harmonize and complete things according to what I've said--is the best thought a being in the cosmos could have." ("Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference")

What would Master do to those who could not step forward? Leave them alone?

"Opening the heavenly circuit is not itself the purpose of the practice. Even if your heavenly circuit is opened, I would say that it is still nothing. If one's cultivation continues further, through the method of the heavenly circuit one aims at opening hundreds of energy channels via one energy channel, and one can thereby open all the body's energy channels." (Zhuan Falun, 2000)

Since I had experience stepping forward during the Fa-rectification, while doing well the three things by myself, I should also help those fellow practitioners so that they could also step forward to fulfill their prehistoric aspirations. I believed that this would be the way to harmonize Master's choices. I had a strong feeling of responsibility to go home and to continue helping fellow practitioners. I felt I had become so huge and the "610 Office" police so tiny. No matter how they fussed, I would harmonize Master's choices and follow Master's teaching. I went home.

Before I had time to change clothes at home, the "610 Office" police had already arrived. I didn't have any fear or grudge against them. I thought about what Master had said about all the people in the world having been relatives of Master. Because of the arrangements of the old forces and their own choices, they played pitiable roles in this lifetime. No matter what the police said to me, I didn't pay any attention. Looking into their eyes, I said, "Do not harm yourselves! You should be responsible to your future and the future of your family." The director of the "610 Office" said to me that he had read many religious books and he believed that he would reincarnate into a human and not an animal in the future. I felt my eyes were wet. I said that I also hoped that he did.

Since I didn't expect the police to show up so quickly, I still had two CD's and several letters with truth-clarification materials inside that hadn't been distributed. In case they searched my home, I carried them with me while dealing with the police. I took the chances I got to break the CD's and insert the letters into neighbors' mailboxes. However, when I was detained at the police station, I found out that the police had seized those letters, which surprised me a little bit. According to their rules, I could be sentenced to several years of labor camp because of it. However, I put down my human thoughts and was determined, "No matter what, I came here to validate Dafa and not to suffer from tribulation."

At the police station, I quietly broke the SIM card in my cell phone, since a record of all calls is stored on it. When the police found out what I had done, they grabbed the broken SIM card from me and stuck it together. (I found out later that the broken SIM card was useless even if it was glued together). I couldn't let them find fellow practitioners whether or not they were diligent in the Fa-rectification. I managed to grab the card back and immediately popped it into my mouth. The broken card stuck in my throat. I couldn't swallow it or cough it up. I collapsed. I lay on the ground but my mind was very clear. The police were in a panic. They rushed to bring me water and medicine. After a little while, they crumpled the transcripts that had nothing written on them anyway and threw them away. The "610 Office" director concluded that I was very cooperative and then assigned someone to drive me home. Before I left, he said, "You still have some letters here. We will keep them." I suggested, "Then you have chances to read them many more times."

My return surprised my family and the staff in the local community. They very much admired me. Practitioner B was released two weeks later. Later she was very regretful. She said that she seemed to be possessed at that time. Once she was "reformed," her family members who used to support Dafa all changed suddenly. No matter how she clarified the truth to them, they seemed unable to accept it.

At critical moments when we are asked about the source of the materials, some practitioners refuse to give away true information. For example, some say that they got the materials from mailboxes or found them on the ground. Some practitioners who are illegally arrested take all the responsibility on themselves to reduce the pressure on fellow practitioners; others only admit the facts the police already knew.

In reality, higher-level beings, whether they are positive or negative beings at higher levels, are able to see our mentalities clearly. Our "human" approaches, in their eyes, are only child's play. Only when we understand the Fa on the basis of the Fa can we treat all scenarios with God's thoughts and handle them in an upright and noble manner.

If we answer such questions by saying that we got them from mailboxes or happened to pick them up from the ground, we are not conforming to "Truthfulness." Master said,

"I am a person who will not say what he does not want to say, but what I say must be true." (Zhuan Falun)

Whether we admit part of the facts or reveal all the information, we are accepting the old forces' persecution. We ourselves made the truth clarification materials with our income and with great effort in order to save sentient beings. Why should the evil know about the source of the materials?! I had been arrested twice when I was handing out materials. The police heard about or obtained the materials I handed out, but they didn't ask a single question regarding the materials.

On another occasion, in 2000, my fellow practitioner C was arrested after she went to Tiananmen Square. Her husband came to my work unit to look for me and asked me to go see him. I had never had any interaction with him before. As soon as I got there, he took out a copy of truth-clarifying material and asked, "Have you seen this?" I said, "Yes." "Who gave this to her?" he wanted to know. I answered, "Me." He was very surprised. He asked me, "Do you believe the words on this flyer?" I said I did. He was amazed and made a friendly comment, "I think only you and C are so honest to the extent that you look like fools!"

We chatted for thirty minutes in a friendly way. He saw me off when I left and didn't come to bother me again. Later I heard that he swore at all the other practitioners who went to his house and he even called 110 to report a fellow practitioner to the police. Fortunately that practitioner left before the police car arrived.

Now I would not handle similar issues in the same way. But no matter what approach we take, our mentality is most important. I think that at that time, my frankness and selflessness dissolved the evil in the other dimensions and moved practitioner C's husband.

My Family Members Changed Their Attitudes toward Dafa

I noticed that some fellow practitioners have been doing Fa-rectification projects constantly, but they failed to handle their relationship with their family members well. My own experience is that when I treat my family members from the perspective of everyday people and seek their understanding and respect, or even expect them to fulfill their duty as a family member to help me, the situation gets worse. When I am devoted to saving sentient beings and treat my family members as beings who came for the Fa as well, and at the same time I do well in my role in human society so as to help them have a correct understanding of Dafa, the whole situation becomes exceptionally good. I believe many fellow practitioners have the same experience. While clarifying the truth, it's not enough if we just talk to other people, especially to family members.

My father's change is a typical example. Before I started to practice Falun Gong, I had an awkward relationship with my father. After I became a practitioner, I came to realize that I needed to be kind to him. I therefore undertook all household chores and took care of all his meals and his daily life. I even helped to manicure his toenails for him. But he strongly objected to my practicing Falun Gong. He threatened me by banging his head against the wall and attempting to commit suicide. Sometimes he created trouble at our practice site and also he wrote curses on Dafa books. I felt extremely wronged. I thought to myself, "I am so kind to him, but he still does such things." I tried to explain to him that it was because I practiced Falun Gong that I was so kind to him. Still very unwillingly, my father agreed that I could practice at home, but I was not allowed to go out to join group Fa study.

I felt very sad. A fellow practitioner advised me, "Be nicer to your father!" I said, "I have been very nice to him. I even helped to manicure his toenails." Nevertheless, I started to check inside myself and I found that deep in my heart, I still resented my father. I was shocked when I realized this. All my "benevolence" was actually very superficial! When I truly wanted to change myself, I felt that my father was very pitiful and I owed him a lot. It was only then that my father no longer made trouble with my practice. Occasionally, he would say a few disrespectful words against Dafa. Every time he said disrespectful words, he would stumble. Once he broke a tooth when he stumbled. I warned him not to say such things any more; otherwise, he would receive retribution. The more I warned him, the less he believed it. In retrospect, I know that the way I warned him had a lot of human emotion involved, such as anger. It was not out of a compassionate heart and therefore could not move anyone's heart.

I considered my father to be a very arrogant person. He is a downright materialist. "Perhaps he is just such a being," I thought to myself. With my deepening understanding of Fa-rectification, I came to realize that no matter what my father's origin was, now that he had the predestined relationship to be my family member, he should have the opportunity to know the truth about Dafa. Unexpectedly, as soon as I had such a thought, and as soon as I tried to talk to him about Dafa, he immediately expressed his support for Dafa. I asked him, "What if the police forbid me from practicing?" He said, "Keep practicing! What's there to be afraid of?" Then he asked me whether I had incense at home because he wanted to burn incense to worship Master. I thought to myself, "My father never believed in God!" I asked him what kind of wish he had when worshipping Master and I thought, according to his enlightenment quality, at most he would ask Master to protect me so that I would be safe. My father answered my question in a powerful voice, "I wish Falun Gong would spread to the whole world!"

Before 1999, my mother didn't object to my practicing Falun Gong. When the suppression of Falun Gong started, due to pressure and harassment from the evil, my mother sometimes would say a few disrespectful words against Dafa. One day in 2000, she came to the limit of her patience and asked me, "Can't you just stop practicing? What would happen if you didn't practice Falun Gong?" I replied without hesitation, "I would die!" She never brought up the topic again. Once a policeman asked my mother what she thought about my practice. My mother said, "My daughter wanted to commit suicide before. Now she no longer has such a thought. Are there any parents who don't want their children to be happy?"

Last Spring Festival, I wrote a couplet:

"Spring is here and we are happy to see that people's minds are benevolent and righteous;
the entire three realms now has good fortune, our universe is clean and everlasting."

My mother asked, "When will that day come?"

I wrote another poem as a reply:

"Plum Blossom"

In Mid-Winter, snow is dancing in the air, most blossoms are withered;
Plum blossoms are blooming in spite of the severe cold;
With delightful fragrance, they are smiling in the wind;
Spring will naturally be here when the winter is gone."

My mother smiled. She copied the poem in her notebook. Whenever we have relatives coming to visit, she would show them the poem and proudly tell them, "My daughter wrote it." In difficult times, she gave me a great deal of help, which was a big surprise to me.

Conclusion

In the past several months, I haven't been as diligent as I should be. Thus, it took me a long time to start writing my experience sharing report. I feel that my experience would probably be helpful to many fellow practitioners who haven't stepped forward yet, though, so I have a responsibility to write this article. It is not to validate myself. It is to encourage all practitioners to cultivate diligently together. I shed tears several times as I wrote this article. I realized that I myself was the first beneficiary of my sharing, because I re-discovered my willingness to put down everything for Dafa and sentient beings, and I experienced Dafa's dignity and the greatness of Dafa disciples during the Fa-rectification period who have been forged by the great Fa.

Our fellow practitioners in our region are gradually taking up their respective responsibilities.

I want to thank Master for creating the opportunities for us. I'd like to take this opportunity to send my highest respect to our Master!

I'd like to thank overseas fellow practitioners for their constant support!

Notes:

1. Choose a life of homelessness: Under the severe persecution environment in China, families have been forced to turn against their own members who practice Falun Gong. Also, under the policy of "guilt by association," family members of those who practice Falun Gong can also be threatened by the Jiang regime. In this situation, Falun Gong practitioners leave their homes in order to alleviate the pressure and persecution against their family members, as well as to clarify the truth to the people in China.

2 "Turning around at the same spot": A Chinese saying that refers to an action that involves a lot of effort but does not achieve much.

Posting date: 11/13/2004
Original article date: 11/11/2004
Category: Practitioners' Insights
Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2004/10/24/87335.html

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