Some Understandings on Eliminating the Attachment to Inferiority
A Western practitioner
As a Falun Dafa practitioner, the thoughts we have possess a certain energy
and have the power to affect things in other dimensions. Thus, it is important
to have righteous thoughts as much as possible, and as often as possible. There
are some cases where our unrighteous thoughts born from attachments are so
strong that they become fixed and form into notions, making them difficult to
detect. We may not even notice them for a long time, and attempt to move forward
in our cultivation without realizing that this aspect of our unrectified
character is holding our overall progress back. The attachment to "feeling inferior" is one such notion that I
recently realized has permeated my being and has sought to control me from
different angles, exerting pressure in other dimensions that was difficult to
pinpoint. Its presence was felt, but its origin seemed difficult to identify,
even when physical manifestations occurred, such as feeling tired or lazy. Here
I would like to share some experiences and personal understandings at my current
level on the attachment to feeling inferior. In the world today, it has become normal to compete and struggle to stand out
above others, to be unusual or rare, interesting or funny, fun to be around,
witty and intelligent, and accomplished in academic work or professional
endeavors. The result of these struggles is that it can become natural to fall
into the trap of living up to the standards or expectations of others. As a
cultivator, this essentially means living up to the standards of ordinary
people. For example, with a prestigious job that demonstrates professional
accomplishment and success and a paycheck that allows one to obtain material
possessions for an opulent or comfortable lifestyle, one is considered to have
accomplished certain things that make them more socially acceptable. Being
unemployed or working at a job that is low-paying or labor intensive vs.
academically or professionally challenging can carry a certain stigma,
especially within well-educated or professional social circles and families.
Thus one is faced with the discouraging task of living up to the standards and
ideals of others. In fact, these relationships themselves are karmic arrangements that--for
non-practitioners--are arranged to play out during their lifetimes in a specific
way. Whether somebody criticizes or praises you, is supportive or undermining of
your path in life, and your personal goals and level of accomplishment are all
arranged based on karmic retribution and predestined relationship. As cultivators of Falun Dafa, the path of our lives was arranged anew when we
obtained the Fa and began to cultivate, putting us outside of these original
arrangements. The approval or disapproval inherent in the opinions or views of
others, including family members and close friends, has changed. They now exist
as tests and tribulations that are opportunities to upgrade our Xinxing (heart
or mind nature), refine our hearts, and strive forward on our path of Fa-rectification
cultivation. It is important that as members of whatever part of society we live
in, we make positive contributions through our upright conduct and steadfast
faith as Falun Dafa practitioners on the path that Master has arranged for us.
But we should not pursue the sense of accomplishment and personal satisfaction
that ordinary people gain from having done something well in work or at home on
their pre-arranged path of life. Take the example of our attitude toward doing Dafa work to clarify the truth
and save sentient beings. Even in this sacred task we allow our actions to be
affected by the attachment of thinking we are not good enough, or less than
others. A typical way this manifests is in practitioners being "busy"
and having so many projects and responsibilities that they find it difficult to
complete any of their tasks well, or to complete them at all. So how does
feeling inferior play into this type of behavior? Maybe a practitioner is asked
to help on a large-scale project that will take a lot of their time. But after
agreeing to participate and contribute they also take on various other tasks and
projects, getting pulled in this direction and that direction, making it
difficult to follow through on anything. If the practitioner feels that they
need to be involved with many things and doing many things in order to be worthy
of being a Dafa disciple, then perhaps they are being led by the notion that the
worth of their being is measured in the volume of Dafa work they do. Yet if we
take on many things to cover up and hide the notion of self-worth and the
attachment of longing for approval from others for a job well done, then it can
become very difficult to do things with a pure heart and right thoughts. The attachment of feeling inferior is a distracting and destructive force
that eats away at the inner core of our heart and makes it difficult to strive
forward diligently on the noble path of Fa-rectification. Thinking one is less
than others can also aggravate other attachments such as competitiveness and
jealousy. Becoming obsessed with what one has not done well in the past leads to
being trapped within an infinite sphere of disillusionment, making the path of
cultivation seemingly impossible or insurmountable. It is from within this
sphere of self-loathing and self-criticism that countless loopholes are opened
up, creating the potential for long-term tribulations. One regrets not waking up
early to practice the exercises and makes criticizing comments during the day
about sleeping too late and missing the opportunity. Perhaps they then end up
wasting time that could have been spent clarifying the truth or sending
righteous thoughts. Perhaps they create more karma for themselves by treating
their own selves in a way that does not comply with a practitioner's standard of
compassion. The opportunity to eliminate the attachment of feeling inferior is
missed, and the next morning the incident repeats itself. If cases like this
continue to cycle onward, the black matter accumulated from the unrighteous
thoughts of the practitioner will create even more difficulty. Where there was
once a hill, now there is a mountain. The thoughts that cultivators of a righteous way emanate have very strong
energy. The gong of Falun Dafa disciples can fix things in a certain
place, as our thoughts are material existence emanating from our own selves.
What we think knowingly and consciously comes from our true self, therefore we
should strive to cultivate the thoughts of our knowing self to be as pure,
compassionate, dignified, and upright as possible. This begins with our thoughts
towards our own self. If a negative thought toward our self emanates from our
minds, is that our true being? Our original existence that we are returning to
in the process of cultivation was created in the space of the universe and was
assimilated to the nature of the universe, "Zhen-Shan-Ren,"
when it was created. Therefore what we know of as our true self from our
cultivation in Dafa should tell us that unrighteous thoughts of self-criticism,
self-loathing, and judgment are factors of the old cosmos and not part of our
true being. In regards to the attachment of feeling inferior, I feel that as cultivators
of Falun Dafa we should openly address this problem in ourselves if we find that
we still have this attachment. If we look inside when we encounter difficulties
in making solid progress in cultivation, and find that the attachment of feeling
inferior exists, we should eliminate it thoroughly with our most righteous
thoughts. We should let go of our past mistakes without fear of reprisal and
commit ourselves anew to the noble path of Fa-rectification, saying without
hesitation from our true hearts, "I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. I
cultivate in the righteous Way. I will let go of my past mistakes and strive
forward to surpass the arrangements of the old cosmos." I wrote this article to share some personal understandings at my current
level and to encourage my fellow practitioners who may have been struggling with
letting go of the attachment to feeling inferior. If there is anything
incorrect, please kindly point it out.
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