My View on the Basis of Marriage

By a practitioner in Northeast China

(Clearwisdom.net) Having read the article "My Thoughts on Whether Young Practitioners Should Get Married" by a fellow practitioner, I would like to share some of my own understandings on the issue. I'm also a single woman above the average age for marriage. There are over ten people like me among the practitioners I know. I have discussed this issue with some of them and what I feel most deeply about is the basis of the issue.

Whether one gets married or not is not the criterion for judging right or wrong, and it is not the point either. The key point is that one must be very clear about the basis upon which one gets married, and this should not be covered up. The point is whether one gets married because he/she harmonizes with ordinary society to safeguard the manifestation of the Fa at this human level, or because one cannot let go of his/her sentiments. It is not wrong for personal feelings to play a part in marriage, but that would be a reflection of the person's cultivation state and diligence. Right now we are in the Fa-rectification period and the remaining old forces are also menacingly looking at our attachments. If we are not careful, our attachments will be taken advantage of and enlarged.

There used to be a practitioner in our area who wanted to get married because he could not let go of sentiments and he unwittingly used Master's teaching to cover up his attachments. When he chose his partner, he also attached much importance to the appearance of the person and judged if she would satisfy his notions in other aspects. Even though he was aware that there were other suitable people around him, he could not let go of his attachments. He chose a non-practitioner as his girlfriend and became completely infatuated with her, even to the point of leaving Dafa cultivation. When I was sharing my understanding with him, I pointed out to him that he wanted to get married not because he wanted to safeguard the Fa, but because he could not let go of his attachments, and he used Master's teaching to cover up his attachments. Consequently, his sentimental desires were taken advantage of by the evil spectre and the rotten demons and became enlarged. In the adverse situation in Mainland China, the seriousness of cultivation is even more evident. Any human attachment can destroy a cultivator and throw all his efforts in vain.

During the few years that I was living away from home to avoid being persecuted, I stayed in many practitioners' homes and saw the problems practitioners had at home. I will not go into details about them, but would like to share one example. There is a couple where both the husband and wife are Dafa practitioners. They have set strict requirements for themselves. Every morning, they would get up early and do the five sets of the exercises, and in the evening, they would go out together to distribute truth-clarification flyers. They take care of and help each other. When one is not in a good state of mind, the other encourages the other to let go of the attachment of fear and be diligent. One time, the police came to their home to "illegally arrest" the husband. His wife kept sending forth righteous thoughts at home and her husband managed to get away right in front of the police. From this example, we can see that it was because they had laid a very solid foundation in their cultivation that they were able to keep strong righteous thoughts at a critical moment. They completely denied the old forces.

No matter how much longer the Fa-rectification lasts, it is not something we should be concerned about. Marriage is an issue that single practitioners above the average age for marriage will face. I would like to make a suggestion to these fellow practitioners that when you consider this issue, please search your conscience and see what your consideration is based on regarding the matter.

Only when we have a righteous basis, can we walk our paths well.

October 11, 2005

Chinese version available at http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2005/10/12/112263.html

 Yearly Archive   Printer Version