Finding My Fundamental Attachments

By Li Tu, a practitioner from Yanbian, Jilin Province

(Clearwisdom.net) After reading the articles "Discussions about Fundamental Attachments" in the Minghui Weekly, No. 193 and "Read 'Towards Consummation' One More Time", No. 198, I was really shocked. I had similar experiences as the other two practitioners, and that made me realize what my fundamental attachments were.

I have studied "Towards Consummation" many times, but I always thought that I didn't have the fundamental attachments which were pointed out in this article. I showed off to other practitioners about this. An article published in the Minghui Weekly No. 197 states: "However, these practitioners will stumble mainly because of their fundamental attachments when encountering important issues. They will have various forms of interference, and even go astray." This sentence applied to me. Why can't I walk well in my Fa rectification cultivation? And why do I always stumble? Do I really have any fundamental attachments?

Before obtaining the Fa, I had an introverted and negative disposition and rested my hopes for happiness in my next life. After getting to know general qigong practices, I understood that humans could cultivate themselves in order to become enlightened beings, and I really looked forward to an immortal life. But when I finished reading Zhuan Falun, I abandoned other types of qigong and started practicing Falun Dafa. However, the thought of pursuing happiness after becoming an immortal was still within me, and I found an excuse for it: Teacher even said that a Buddha doesn't have any hardships but has eternal happiness, so my thought could not be wrong. Therefore, pursuing happiness has become my fundamental attachment until today.

High level beings do not have any hardships because this is the natural living condition of immortals. Practitioners can't even imagine what such a condition would be like. It is not good when one has this thought. If one thinks too much, it will become an attachment.

My fundamental attachment is selfishness and it has been hidden until today. Why have I been interfered with and constantly had hardships since the persecution began on July 20, 1999? Mostly, this was a test set up by the old forces in order to let me get rid of my fundamental attachment. The way I validate the Fa seems like a building without a foundation. Because it is based on selfishness and is the trash of the old universe, how can it become the foundation of the new universe?

After I had found my fundamental attachments, I felt so relieved. Then, I realized that those attachments are hard to get rid of, because their roots were still alive. I have an attachment of showing off. Because when I show off, I am satisfied with my achievement, and I enjoy the feeling of "happiness." I have an attachment to comparison. When I suffer more hardships, I then enjoy less "happiness" compared to others. I also have an attachment to competing. When others talk in very rude and harsh language, I do not feel happy.

All my attachments are related to my fundamental one. They connect to each other and become one body. It is very dangerous for practitioners with those fundamental attachments. Teacher said:

After obtaining the Fa nine years ago, I've finally found my fundamental attachments which I should have found earlier. In the past nine years, Teacher must have taken care of me, taken so much of my tribulations, and never given up on me, a practitioner who didn't try hard enough in order to make progress in cultivation. Even if I would pay with my life, I still could not repay Teacher for his great compassion!

I hope practitioners, especially those who are still taking tortuous paths, seriously consider whether or not they have fundamental attachments. Let your cultivation and validating the Fa be conscientious, and be responsible to yourselves. Lessen Teacher's worries. This is a necessary step toward looking inward.

Chinese version available at http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2005/12/10/116225.html

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