(Clearwisdom.net) Recently, I started to recite the Fa again. I recite one lecture of Zhuan Falun each day. I recite the Fa whenever I have time, no matter whether it is in the morning or at night, or during the commute time. After finishing the nine lectures I write Lunyu down from memory. Then I compare my writing with the original. Now my understanding of the Fa is different from day to day. I am able to notice my shortcomings every day. Sometimes I think one thing was right yesterday but then today I may have a different understanding of it. Slowly, I am realizing what Master said in Zhuan Falun,
"Cultivation practice itself is not difficult, and neither is upgrading one's level itself difficult. It is because they cannot give up the human mind that they call it difficult."
From the surface, my situation is much harder than before. Several years ago I worked at home. If there were technical difficulties with any project related to clarifying the truth of Falun Gong, I could solve it right away. I did not have to deal with the various issues of everyday people. I had enough time to study the Fa and do the exercises. But now, I am in a new place and not familiar with the environment. It takes me two hours to commute to and from work. Also, if I don't take time to interact my colleagues, they will think I am odd, even though all they talk about is everyday matters.
No matter what I encounter, I will continue to study the Fa. Master will change all the bad things to good things, and let me "gain in four ways all in one shot." For example, two days after I started my new job, the technical manager and product manager yelled at me saying, "If I assign you a task today, you must finish it tomorrow! Do you understand? 'Finish it tomorrow' means you should finish it yesterday!" I listened to them without saying anything. I thought, everyday people cannot affect a practitioner. What can they do to me? So I behaved well, and did not argue with them. Later, I found my problem during Fa study that day. After that, they have not treated me that way again.
Time is very tight to clarify the truth. I often work very late at night to clarify the truth, and in the morning I have to get up to go to work. When I first came to New York City, I did not take much time to eat because I was not familiar with the environment and I often skipped meals. One time I felt I was going to faint in my office. One morning as I was taking the subway, I thought, "If I am late today it's okay. I can finish my work at the office quite easily. What can the boss do to me? Maybe it would be good for their future, if they forgive my tardiness, since I am late because of Dafa work." When it was time to study the Fa, I opened Zhuan Falun, and saw this paragraph,
"Since learning Falun Dafa, these employees come to work early and go home late. They do diligent and conscientious work, they're never picky no matter what work their supervisors assign them, and they've also stopped fighting to benefit themselves."
I knew I was wrong again. Now I go to work early every day, and come back late.
Master said in the "Lecture at the Conference in New Zealand on May 8, 1999," "Since it's cultivation, nothing that happens along the way is accidental." (provisional translation subject to further improvement)
One time, the technical manager slapped the table and shouted, "Oh, if it's so, why don't you..." From that situation, I suddenly realized I should do one thing during the Fa-rectification process, which I was hesitating to do. Another time, the key technical developer said to me, "Aren't there just a few computer programs? All you need to do is spend some time to study them." I realized the meaning inside his words. I found another source of my attachments: the pursuit of comfort, which is the attachment of pursuit. For the things which should be done, I couldn't do them without pursuit. I always thought first about whether it was worth it to me to do them. But as a practitioner, how I could put my own benefits first? Wasn't I acting like an everyday person?
There was one attachment I could not let go for a long time. I knew it was a problem to have this attachment, but I could not see this attachment clearly and thus could not get rid of it. One day, a colleague asked me to help him with a small thing and I finished it rather quickly. Later he spoke very highly about me because of it. From his flattering words, I realized the problem related to my attachment and therefore I was able to let go of the attachment.
I wrote some computer programs for clarifying the truth, but they were not used much, and were put aside. I felt bad about it, but didn't know how to fully utilize them. One day, the technical manager talked with me alone. He said that my technical skill was very good, but my business logic was not good. He asked me several technical questions. I thought they were very simple questions. But my answers were all wrong because I did not understand the business logic among them. He patiently told me why I was wrong. I learned a lot. From this, I had new understanding of "cultivate while maximally conforming to the ordinary human society" ("Dafa Is All-Encompassing," Essentials for Further Advancement II). I understood why my programs were not used, and I had a new idea for another project for clarifying the truth.
There are many cases like that. Nothing I encounter at work is accidental. It is either related to my personal cultivation, or is related to the projects of the Fa-rectification period. Even things which happen on the subway are not accidental. I see my shortcomings with the help of the people around me. The environment of my company is changing too. Lately, the projects at work are all related to the projects used for clarifying the truth, a situation we did not have in the past.
August 08, 2005
