(Clearwisdom.net) My name is Wang Helin. I am 53 years old and I'm a farmer from Xituan Village, Dongchengfang town, Zhuozhou city, Hebei province. When guard He Xuejian raped my fellow practitioner Ms. Han Yuzhi, I did not stand up to stop this atrocity. I chose to remain silent instead, and I feel guilt and deep regret.

Teacher said in Zhuan Falun,

Before the crime took place, Ms. Liu Jizhi, who was also raped, begged me, "Brother, please try to stop them. They did not spare me, an older lady, and will not spare Ms. Han either." When Ms. Qu Wenting begged me to stand up for Ms. Han, I only passively stood up and then timidly sat back down. I did this because I was a selfish, silent coward. The crime happened in broad daylight. I did not want to admit the rape happened but it did happen, and there was nothing I could do to undo it. For several days, I suffered from self-blame. As a Dafa practitioner, why didn't I stop guard He Xuejian when he was about to commit the crime? Why couldn't I stop the crime?

In fact, the first night, the guards were behaving badly towards Ms. Liu and Ms. Han and I knew that they were up to no good. The second day, they raped Ms. Liu. Why couldn't I rush out to find out what happened and suppress the evil? I had a strange thought in my mind, "I am too weak and skinny. My effort would be in vain anyway." This passive thought was so feeble, dirty, evil--and yet so deeply rooted in me!

After I carefully studied the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and compared it to what I had experienced, I clearly understood what happened to me. I grew up during CCP political movements. My experience had twisted my thinking and made it abnormal and difficult to detect. This wrong notion controlled me tightly and clouded my ability to think clearly. I couldn't stand up for the abused at key moments.

In 1964, I was at the age to be able to tell right from wrong. When I went to school, I read about Lei Feng (CCP moral exemplar in the 1960's). The story said a landowner slashed Lei Feng three times on his arm. I was taught that, among the landowners, rich farmers, mediocre farmers, and poor farmers, the "best people" were the poor farmers and the "worst people" were the landowners. At that time, people were proud to be poor farmers and ashamed of being landowners. My father was a renowned teacher. He had great hope for me and wanted to support my continuing education. I was doing very well at school and wanted to go to middle school. At that time, there were very few middle schools. One would have a better future if one made it to high school. I wanted to have good social status in the future through studying. However, one day, I could no longer hope for anything.

One day I asked my father, "Dad, are we poor farmers or landowners? We are poor farmers, right?" After learning what was "right" and what was "wrong," I wanted to choose between right and wrong. After learning all the so-called "good stuff" from the CCP propaganda, I felt upright and confident and certain that I had been one of the suppressed. To my surprise, my father was silent for a while and told me with a straight face, "We are landowners." I will never forget his words. My heart sunk and I no longer felt confident. I always felt "guilty" when with my classmates and friends and thought that they didn't know that I was from a landowner's family. The feeling of living up to the communist ideal of being "upright and confident as one of the suppressed" left me and I gave myself a death sentence. I felt I would never be successful.

In every political movement, my family went thought one ordeal after another. Because my grandfather was a landowner, my father was automatically one, plus my father was a teacher and an intellectual, so he became the main focus during the "anti-rightists" movements in 1957. My father, being a "rightist," was persecuted in 1957 when I was five.

The Great Cultural Revolution peaked in 1968 and 1969. My father didn't come home for more than half a year in 1968. A kind man wrote my family a letter saying my father had to attend brainwashing sessions in the morning and was tormented at night. He had to wear a sandwich-board (with slanderous words) in front of him and parade through the streets. His hands were bound so tight that he couldn't raise them. My family was very worried but could do nothing because of tremendous political pressure. We were like sheep and went where we were told.

Later, the CCP's policy forced us to distance ourselves from my father publicly. The CCP even forced me to expose and turn in my own father. Fortunately, because my father was a kind person, some people helped him. I dropped out of school and would visit my father secretly every now and them. Being tormented during the political movements, my father had no one but me. I was his only hope and mental support. Every time I visited him, I gave him the courage to go on. However, from then on, I believed that I was inferior to others.

In 1970, there was a middle school in Dongchengfang town and every village was assigned a few slots. I so wanted to continue school but before anything happened, I marked myself as "not qualified." Later I tried to sign up because I didn't want to succumb to my fate. I didn't succeed. I had to forget about going to school. I studied on my own and learned many words. But reality didn't leave any choices or things to strive for, so I learned to accept my fate.

When I reached the age of marriage, the marriage brokers or the girls' families would be very happy and satisfied with my family situation until they knew that I came from a landowner's background, then they would quickly stay away from my family and me. In 1978, the landowner stigma no longer was of such great importance, and I got married. I began a peaceful life.

I spoke about my past, as I wanted to explain how I formed my deep-rooted notions of restraining and protecting myself, and passively going along with all the CCP's political movements. I couldn't take any responsibility, face my problems, and support those who were maligned. Under the CCP's evil rule, brainwashing and mind control were activities I dared not challenge. I was traumatized throughout my life and unable to change my flawed personality.

In 1984, I developed rheumatoid arthritis, and it worsened through the years. By 1997, all my joints were deformed. Knowing there was no cure for this illness and to save money, I survived by taking pain killers. I couldn't do anything most of the time, as I was in pain. Someone always took care of me and I barely paid any attention to or took care of others. My selfishness prevented me from standing up for others at crucial moments.

In February 1999, some Falun Dafa practitioners came to the village to introduce the practice to the villagers. I became very interested and asked for Zhuan Falun after hearing practitioners say Dafa had great healing powers and could improve people's morality. A veteran practitioner from another village taught me the exercises. From then on, I practiced Dafa. I learned how to be a good person through studying the Fa and listening to Teacher's lecture tapes. I could feel the peaceful atmosphere when I studied the Fa. I truly changed. I became healthy and my family situation improved a lot. I thought if everyone could just practice Falun Gong, society would get better and the world would be beautiful.

However, when the guard He Xuejian raped Ms. Han Yuzhi, I again chose shameful silence. Thinking about it deeply for many days, I realized that the problem that affected my cultivation was something I couldn't understand on my own. I read the Nine Commentaries and it was like a mirror that could catch demons. It reflected my traumatized and deteriorated mind after being brainwashed for so many years by the CCP's political movements. All of these had latched onto me and closely controlled me like a demonic curse. I lost a normal person's response to impending danger. I looked at it as to how much it would cost me, instead of standing up to expose the evil. After the rape, I was agonized and in deep regret. An everyday person would speak up when he/she saw a scoundrel raping a woman, and I was a Dafa practitioner!

If I had realized how the corrupt party culture had poisoned me, maybe I would have been able to stop the crime and prevent it from happening. If the CCP evil spirit had not controlled Song Xiaobin, secretary of the Dongchengfang town CCP political legal committee, and Chai Yuqiao, director of the Dongchengfang town general politics office, the rape might not have happened. If more Chinese people could stand up and understand the truth of Falun Gong and read the Nine Commentaries, China would become saner and many crimes would not happen. We, the Chinese people, should no longer remain silent.

I call on all good people to take notice of the persecution in China. They should look at the Party that claims to be "for the people" in all their propaganda. They should watch what the Party is doing with the people's hard earned money! Now Song Xiaobin, Chai Yuqiao, and Wang Huiqi are living in Xituan Village. They swore that they would seize the two rape victims (Ms. Han and Ms. Liu), me and the other witness of the crime and announced that those who would help capture us would be given a 100,000 yuan reward!